Letter to AIM

I actually e-mailed this to instant messenger.

Hello sir, and thank you for creating such a quality product. I definately enjoy your service, because it lets me talk to people without paying like you have to do with phones and such. I use your product, Instant messenger, every day, almost constantly, as we have a LAN connection, and thus a connection does not tie up our phone line, and keep me from being called by entertaining telemarketers and the like. Truly, without your product, I would not speak with nearly the amount of people per day that I do now. Unfortunately I am not a subscriber to AOL itself, as it sort of sucks cock. But the messenger rules.

Anyway, I have composed this letter to inform you that while your instant messenger service is the best and most popular on the market, it could be greatly improved with the introduction of some new smileys. I have included diagrams and such, so you will know what I want from you.

Sarcasm smiley: this is for when you are being really really sarcastic. The eyes are rolling, see?







Wide eyed smiley: His eyes are huge, like he's glaring at someone with really widely opened eyes.







Kicked in the face smiley: He just got kicked in the mouth.







Oral Pleasure smiley: I think you can guess.







Pirate smiley: his eye was gouged out.







Nose picking smiley: another self explanatory one.







Puking smiley: ate something nasty.







Thank you for taking my suggestions under consideration, sir, I know you must get e-mails from hundreds of people every day telling you how they would do your job better than you, but I am not doing that, I am just telling you what would make you get paid more.

Oh, and if you make any of these changes in a new version of AIM, please put a plug to my webpage in the hidden credits. Thank you.

Scuba Steve
www.ssvitu.cjb.net

Dear Scuba,

Hi! My name is Sey and I'm writing to you in behalf of America Online in response to your recent email or concern.

I want to thank you personally for taking time to write to the America Online (AOL) Instant Messenger (AIM) service.

I also want to thank you for taking the time to write with your opinions about the AIM service. Almost every improvement to AOL has come from direct feedback and suggestions.

AOL Member Services is currently collecting the data about the service and I assure you your feelings and input are being used to help AOL make the best possible online experience.

Your insight will be taken as a recommendation which I will send to the appropriate department.

Thanks again for taking the time to send AOL Member Services your comments and concerns.

If the above information doesn't work, just write back and we'll figure it out next time. Please feel free to write me again should you have any problems regarding the matter.

Have a great day :-)

Sey Y.
Customer Care Consultant
The Techmail Department
America Online Inc.

And then we can get some useful smiley faces.

--Scuba Steve, March 13, 2001