I don't know about you, but in the future, I will cut a gangsta rap solo album and be a one hit wonder of rap. My song? The soon to be written "Love them Ho's (Ho's Ho's)" will shoot up to number one, but my career will be short, as I will break up. I've taken the liberty for pre-writing the story for MTV News.
Hi, I'm Kurt Loder, welcome to MTV news. Well, first in everyone's mind is the acquittal in the 6th Puff Daddy trial, and later in the show we'll have a live interview with Britanny Spears, about her new video in which she takes off all hew clothes in a strip club, has sex with a man for money, and then has sex with another man for crack-cocaine, here's a segment of that:
Brittany: Well, I'm just showing all young girls everywhere that they can do whatever they want.Brian McFayden: But prostitution is illegal. And your thirty-five!
More of that later, but first, the hot new sensation that's been sweeping the billboard charts for the last few months, Scuba Steve, the rapper that brought us Love Them Ho's (Ho's Ho's) is breaking up.
His right arm has retired to the Caribbean where it is resting nicely following Scuba's recent tour. It declines to comment as it lacks a mouth.
Scuba's right leg has joned a travelling circus, and has opened it's own booth, free asskicking. The right foot, known for its asskicking ability, also declined to comment.
Scuba's left arm has become the new lead signer for the group Van Halen, who gets a new lead singer every three or four weeks, so this is not a surprise. The arm cites creative differences with the torso, who was always quote, "a total cock."
Scuba's head has been cryogenically frozen and placed next to the cryogenically frozen head of the famous Walt Disney, ruputedly so he can quote "Kick his head's ass for that whole Mickey Mouse Club thing where all those boyband guys got their starts."
Scuba's left leg and torso have stayed together, and cut another album, but critics agree, he's about as effective as a one legged man in an asskicking contest.
We have to cut to commercial, but after this, hear the story of how a plane carrying Limp Bizkit and Creed crashed yesterday, into a bus containing the Backstreet Boys. Don McLean immediately wrote a song, called "The Day Bad Music Died." More after this.
--Scuba Steve, March 21, 2001