Like many websites and magazines alike, I feel the loss that is spread throughout the land, the loss caused by the disappearance of a great figure. Many people have written about the loss of a legend, but I do believe that this forthcoming article will be, without exception, the most in depth about the loss of this particular legend. No, I'm not talking about that racecar guy dammit.
We've lost someone far more important to my everyday life. Gay Dave has moved out. Yes, I know, it comes as a shock to you all. Dave has, for many months, been the driver of all homosexuality-related conversations in our room and has also been a great butt (get it, butt?) for all of our gay related jokes. He has spawned multiple rather hilarious articles on this very website, and probably has gotten laughed at even more than Wendel's drunkenness. I admit, his flaming homosexuality has probably gotten me a number of hits. And now we mourn his loss.
Gay Dave, we hardly knew ye.
But as a wise man once said, you can't grieve forever. True, I've only chosen to grieve for about one paragraph, but follow me on this. Thus, the remainder of this article will probably be on a much more positive note, as I show exactly what has gone on now that I have a single room all to myself.
Here is the area (more than half the room, just as a note to you all) that was formerly occupied by Dave's gay stuff. I usually stayed out of here.
Just as the wall in Germany came down in the early 90's or late 80's or whenever, the wall in my room fell Sunday, March 11th, 2001, a date that will live in infamy.
This board used to contain Dave's advice of the week. Since last night, however, it has become the newly formed "gay joke of the week."
Here is my room as it is today. Yeah, I now have a king size bed. I am pretty damn kingly. If anybody wants to sell me king size sheets really really cheap, send me email.
Dave wasn't all bad, as this picture shows. He left me this whole case of Sobe, the ultimate beverage. The only problems I had with him was when he would have his gay sex in my room, sometimes while I was trying to sleep in it (yeah, I'm not complaining about never having to deal with that ever again), but I prefer to think of the good things.
Yeah, okay, the Sobe was the one good thing.
--Scuba Steve, March 12, 2001
BONUS BITCHING:
So with Dave living happily with his gay boyfriend, its pretty basic that I don't think he's gonna get tested for venerial disease, and thus our damned one contest. This actually sort of pisses me off.... I'll come up with another contest, eventually. Until then, I don't know what to tell you to do.... Just read and be satisfied with my mad writing skills.