Hi ho everybody. Most times when I put an editorial up on this website, I have a purpose in mind to write about or at least I am really pissed off about something. Not so, today. Today I am just going to relate to you all what happened to me this weekend. This is gonna sound really whiny, but I don't really care. I just hope you can all find amusement laughing at my suffering.
Let's begin at the beginning, Friday night. This was the night when it began. First event of the weekend was the Festival Chorus Concert. It was called Magnificent Magnificats. "What kind of a title is that for a Christmas concert?" you ask. Well, every song we sang was actually a Magnificat (the prayer said by the Virgin Mary to Elizabeth when she told her that she was pregnant with Jesus). It's not a bad prayer, but lets think about this. An hour and a half long concert. Of the same prayer. If there's a way to get people to hate something more than constant repetition, I don't know what it is. Anyway, then it got over, and I returned to my room.
We had visitors this weekend. Yes, our room was host not only to the usual cast of misfits, but also to two more tormented souls. Keehna, Rocky's girlfriend came down to stay with us. Chris, Dave's boyfriend came down as well. Guess which one provided a larger obstacle for my enjoyment of the weekend. If you said Keehna, then you are an idiot.
A little background information on Chris. He, like Dave, is gay (duh). Dave met him over the Internet, two to three weeks ago. He met this guy and did not think twice to invite the complete stranger to stay in our room. Allow me to repeat, he invited someone he met over the Internet to stay in our room. Now, I practically live on the Internet, and I don't trust people there. Maybe it's because I know the type of freaks out there. Maybe it's because I am one of said freaks. But either way, for all I know, he could be a serial killer. I have been preparing for weeks to defend myself from his axe-murdering spree.
They were both there after we returned from the concert (Kheena was actually there before and during the concert as well). Many a people were supposed to come join me at my pad and watch movies. Sadly they cancelled. That's okay, because Clue was on Comedy Central. I've seen that movie so many times and I still love it. I stayed in my room most of the night. The living room part, so as to avoid Dave and Chris who were in my bedroom doing things that I wish not to discuss. In fact, I'd like to forget all about them.
About midnight me, Shinigami, and Tamahome went to Walmart. My biggest disappointment that hour was that they do not sell microwaveable mozzarella cheese sticks. That was rather miffing. In this age of technology in which we now live, why can I not get nice, hot mozzarella sticks straight from the microwave. We're living in the dark ages! I got Bagel Bites instead, but I longed far afterwards for mozzarella.
Other stuff must have gone on that night, but I do not remember it. That's probably for the better. I tried with all my might to stay clear of my room. I even slept on the floor in the living room. As I slept, I cradled the Equalizer in my arms for defense, in case Chris was trying to kill me. Being paranoid is fun, but it caused me many a back problem the next day. The price I pay for not sleeping in a room with two gay men who are having sex.
Woke up the next morning and did basically nothing all day. Wait, scratch that. I remember at one point I was watching TNN and there were these 3 fat men in a river grabbing catfish as big as they were with their bare hands. And at another time Rocky, Keehna, and I were making fun of the losers on www.amihotornot.com.
Still avoided my own room like the plague. They were in there until like 7 pm. Sadly, at 7 pm I was at the theatre again, performing the same concert as the night before. Yes, more Magnificats. Like one hour and a half was not enough.
Rocky and I had a little chat with Dave when he showed up (late). This may embarrass him and I don’t care. Basically, he got rug burn on his chin. I'm gonna leave it up to all of your imaginations as to how. Ick. I began writing a song for the band that I will one day have. Its called "Dave is Gonna get AIDS." Isn't it odd how AIDS rhymes with Ice Capades? (note about me not being anti-gay: I am not by this statement implying that all gay people have AIDS, rather I am saying that if you have gay sex as much as Dave did that day, chances are good that you will.)
Anyway, after this I returned to my room to partake in the watching of movies. Labyrinth is a funny movie. Not intentionally, though. David Bowie is the main villain. Way back when he had the really, REALLY big hair. He sung about the funniest song. It was David Bowie and a bunch of muppets and a little baby that they kidnapped, and they all did a musical number together. As funny as it sounds when I say it, it is about fifteen times funnier to hear it. We also watched Dogma, which I have seen like 3 times but is still funny. I went to bed at like 3 am or something. Luckily, this night I could sleep on the futon.
At 4 am I was awakened by my drunken roommate humping me. No, it wasn't even the gay one. And there were many blankets between him and I. It was still a very disturbing experience. More on his alcoholism in another article.
Sunday, oddly, was pretty tame. Church, went to a Saxophone recital, and then updating the links and staff bios. All in all a fun filled weekend. Wait, no it wasn't.
If all me weekends were this exciting, I think I would stab myself to death with a rusty rake and then come back in spirit form to burn my body.
If you noticed, there's no pictures today. I am too lazy to steal any pics from other sites right now. Today we are working with all text.
As always, anyone who takes offense to this page, too bad.
--Scuba Steve, December 3, 2000