Dear Bn,

I don't know if it means anything, but this letter has been difficult to write. I have been intending to write this all evening, but have procrastinated until almost 1:00am. It's probably because I tend to avoid uncomfortable issues as long as possible.

That is why I have taken a long time to come to this point. On Sunday, you made me realize that I had been avoiding this conversation, this decision, because it was an uncomfortable one. And I realized then that your expectation of a better definition of our relationship was well justified and long overdue.

So, here it is: You are in love with me. I love you, but I am not at the point of making a commitment to you in the same way. I cannot offer you the same kind of love that you have for me.

Why? I can't answer that one with complete assurance. As far as I can tell, the primary reason is that I am not ready to make a commitment with anyone at this point. If I were, it would be you. Trust me, I have thought of it: you and I together, as a couple; dealing with emotional, financial and parental issues. It is very appealing. But I am not ready for that.

You are so wonderful - I have asked myself why wouldn't I want to be with you: loving, talented, smart, sexy, beautiful, caring, giving, independent. You're all these and more. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me is that I cannot give you what you give me. Maybe someday, but not today. Obviously, you cannot wait around to find out if and when.

I am thankful for our friendship - it is a unique gift I will always cherish. And, as always, I can't resist your sexuality and the truly great times we have together. I hope these will continue, too.

More than anything, I want to continue the unique connection that we have. No matter where our decisions lead us, I hope we will always have that special relationship.

Your Friend.