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| Bambi Damn Neil for ever being born, because if he hadnt been then there would have only been three of us and thats not enough to go on University Challenge. Mike couldnt even get his so called old friend Bambi to rig the questions for us. Vyv- 'Buzzzz Scumbag Vyvyan'.......PASS! Rick-Those bloody oiks from Footlights College Oxbridge, we'd have beat them hands down if we'd had a bourgeois public education too! Neil- Sorry guys, the band was good this week though wasnt it?! Mike- Note to self: loveable fawns do not return favours even if you rescue them from a life of debauchery and cheap Disney porn flicks. CASH Yet again we were chronically skint and since desperate times call for desperate measures, and since Vyvyan had started burning my belongings Neil was forced to join the Pigs. Oh and Vyvyan was pregnant breifly. Vyv- I burnt all of Neils stuff first so stop complaining you little girly! Rick-Thats sexist and I refuse to retort! Neil- I was positive it was a poltergoost, I felt its spirit vibes. Mike- Thats the last time I nail the plates to the table, I ruined a perfectly good pair of trousers, have you any idea what my dry cleaning bills were like! NASTY Finally we joined the technological age...if only for an ill spent evening, we stayed up all night! Mike got a video on loan from Harry the Bastard and for some reason Neil decided to wear a little girly dress, dont know where he got it from? Vyv- Never did get to have Sex with Zombie Corps of the Virgin Astronaut! Rick-Well buy some Shake 'n' Vac next time you get a video out. Neil-Rick's got a dress Rick's got a dress! Mike- Thank god for Habitat sofa-coffins! TIME Look everyone it was obvious that had we not gone into that time warp into the middle ages then I would have scored with her, she's only human! Okay so I lied the first time and I didnt , you know, do it on her, but it could have happened to any of us, we were all pretty drunk that night, were any of us truly accountable for our actions? Vyv- Yeah Yeah you're a V-I-R-G-I-N and theres no denying it! Rick-I'm not I'm not! Neil- I'm not either if its any concelation Mike- Well dont look at me! SICK I have never been so ill in all my life, of course Neil and Vyvyan were faking it just to make me feel even worse because I'm positive that the ancient healing art of acupuncture is not attainable through hammering 9inch nails into someones bottom! And then Neils bloody parents decide to turn up on the doorstep! Vyv- You still owe me for that vodka bogey breath! Rick- no I dont Neil- Having a cold and then being held at gun point whilst covered in a binliner and lots of like snot is really heavy. Mike- I blame Neils parents. SUMMER HOLIDAY Ahh yes, we die in this episode dont we....this is a bit of a grey area, I think I'll leave it up to the audience to decide. Vyv- My beautiful car! Rick-I thought we were sticking to a policy of 'no comment' on this one. Neil-No comment Mike- That shirt was a mistake |
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