I would like to share some of the things I've experienced with my 5 year old daughter.
I have always thought That Taylor was shy. I noticed when she was about 1 year old she started acting different around people, especially to those she didn't know or hasn't seen for a while.
When she was 2 , she started going to the day care that I worked at. She wasn't very outgoing. She wouldn't talk to any of the parents or adults that I worked with.
She did play and talk quietly to some of the children when no one else could hear her. I quit the day care when she was 3 and a half. She was there for a year and a half and never spoke a word to any adults there.

At home Taylor talks nonstop. She will talk to her aunts (3) uncle, cousins (3), grandma, grandpa and a few of our friends. When we go to other relatives for holiday gatherings she doesn't talk to them.
She just follows me around with her face hidden in me. After about an hour of that she will finally talk to me but it's usually just whispering in my ear.
I didn't think it was any thing more than her just being shy. It wasn't until she started kindergarten when I started to think maybe something was wrong.
On her first day of school, I was very nervous. I have been a stay at home Mom since she was 3 and a half so I didn't know how she would react to me leaving her at school. Everything went good. She didn't cry or protest when I told her I was leaving. She just sat quietly in her seat. About an hour later her school called me to come and pick her up because she would not move out of her seat.
She wouldn't get in line and leave the classroom to take a tour of the school. The next day, I went to school and walked in line with her to the assembly. She did okay and even sat with her class while I sat in the back.
The first week of school I went with her for a little while everyday, leaving earlier and earlier, until eventually just walked her to her seat and kissed her good bye. She was okay with that.
It broke my heart to see her so scared and uncomfortable. It wasn't until after the first month of school she started feeling comfortable enough to eat snack, do her seatwork, or walk up to the front of the class to get her folder when the teacher called her name.
Things started to get better for the next few months. All the children really liked Taylor and were protective over her. She would still cower when adults approached her.
The children would tell them that Taylor didn't talk to adults. She would whisper to some of the children until they told the teacher she was talking to them. So she stopped talking altogether at school, not even to me when I was there.

Her teacher and I didn't know what to do. About 6 months went by and she still would not talk at school. I met with the principal, school psychologist, speech therapist and her teacher.
They had never dealt with a child who did not talk for that long. They encouraged me to talk to a professional who has heard of a case like this. I did some research on the Internet and found selective mutism.
She definitely fit the criteria. I even spoke with a lady who is part of an evaluation team and she said that it sounded like selective mutism. I haven't had her full evaluation yet.
Almost 8 months of school has gone by and she still is not speaking at school. She has made some improvements: She doesn't cower when adults approach her at school. She makes eye contact with the teacher, nods for yes and no questions, participates in nonverbal games and participates in gym.
Her biggest achievements so far are holding the flag poll in front of the class and she raised her hand for the first time a couple of weeks ago in gym class. I was so proud of her.

I have been learning as much as I can about selective mutism. The most important thing I have learned is to have patience, not to pressure and just accept my daughter for who she is.
I let her know how much I love her and want to help her but I no longer put pressure on her to talk. I know she will talk when she is ready and she says she is just not ready yet.
In the mean time, her teacher and I will continue to learn and try new ways to make her feel as comfortable as possible when she is at school.
I know someday I'll get a call to tell me that Taylor talked today but for now I will just be patient!

Kate's Story in three parts.
Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Teaching A Child With Selective Mutism by Kerri Underwood.

Andy's Story