1.  There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar.

Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and sneezes loudly.

The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says, "Excuse me, you just sneezed before my wife."

The drunk replies," I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."


2.  Two guys are sitting in a bar.

The first guy asks, "What do you do for a living?"

The second guy says, "I'm a lawyer."

The first says, "How much do you charge?"

The second guy says, "$100 for four questions."

The first guy says, "Isn't that a little expensive?"

The second guy says, "Yes. What's your fourth question?"


3. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Polish joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know

 something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I am Polish. The guy sitting next to me is

 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's Polish. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs

 250, and he's Polish. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."


Jokes Part 1

Jokes part 2

Jokes part 3

Jokes Part 4