FRIDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2003

Practically wasted the whole day sleeping. *yawn* Didn't know wat to do so i figured i should just take a snooze, that was during the morning...Woke up around 7pm and watched tv, ......moon fairy..... mama mia.... star search..... soccer(charlton vs chelsea, result was 4:2, omg, CHELSEA! WAT HAPPENED!!??!!?)....still soccer now, (Man U vs Everton) currently 1:1 now,  not even half time.... phew....dunno what to do.... sms some ppl to ask if they were interested in the Ju On movie marathon starting midnight.... but i figure no one  was brave enough...lolz...so i didn't go as well....sianz....mmm.... i  think im goin to start on a exercise regiment from tmr onwards. I mean, i'm skinny and white rite now, i'm in a devastating condition.... i really need to go out there and sweat it out... mmmm...yes i will.... and OOooo yar... anyone who's interested in going to the countdown party at downtown east please msg me on msn or just sms me on my hp kay?(o wat the heck, just call me)....thats about it, think i've hibernated enough... probably going to stay awake until morning... ive decided to go through a dvd movie marathon. My cousin juz passed  me her recently, cheaply bought original recent dvds(abt 20) at Raus, indonesia(did i spell that wrong?) at an amazing $1 price each...lolz...scary movie 3, dolphin by the bay, loving you... yada yad....yea.... gonna get on to it now...ciao everyone.....(just a note, im in danger of nv usin the internet again cuz my dad's forcing me to get a life outside my bedroom)haizzz....

~ 11:51 p.m. ~

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2003

Yea, figured out that i shouldn't have been in a foul mood. Its Christmas after all and i gotta have that spirit! Christmas is ending soon, in about an hour but its better late than never. (My neighbour's kid is screaming next door but what the heck, i will smile and forgive her : ) ) Just went to Orchard( yea... i know, again) with my parents to enjoy the atmosphere of christmas. Didn't went very well, it rained heavily there but at least we get to see a whole lot of people rushing and pushing...  We gave up finally and went home... My brother and his wife went to their honeymoon on Tuesday, bon voyage guys!  Went to Orchard that day for some christmas shopping with my cousin, didn't rain then but i got a terrible feet ache....The next day which was yesterday, i was bored at home, didn't know what to do until Dharni came and saved the day. Actually, i wasn't really intending on going cuz he was meeting Edwin Lee and Alex (besides Glenn of course) and i didn't know them that well but they turned out to be pretty nice guys. We watched " The School Of Rock" and it was a really cool show and i enjoyed it thoroughly(although it's still not as good as "Sister Act II" ). Glenn, as usual, made his trademark super-loud laughter in the cinema( Did i mention those girls who was sitting right behind him giggling?) . Edwin went home after that and the rest of us went to Orchard again(actually, we walked there slowly from Dhoby Ghaut, mad rite?) Lotsa people... yea...  quite a christmasy feel, and i thought i saw the northen star, is that Santa? Anyway, we tried a go at a KTV Lounge but it was too expensive(blow!!!). Walked around before we went home. It was quite a fun day, for me at least because i knew it was much better than been cooped up at home watching christmas eve tv specials. lolz... kay... thats about it. And YAR! Almost forgot, i would like to wish a very merry christmas to these following people especially, Joy Tan, a girl i know but yet to meet, Dharni Ng, a really smart guy behind his "BLUR" exterior, Glenn Ng, a really funny guy with a nip for rapping, Low Choon Yang, with his usual first reply of "wad" whenever i msg him on msn, Zen, hopes he's intending to  finish his website before the next millenium, Adleen, a bubbly Britney hard-core fan, Yao Wei, good luck with your drawings in animations, u can make it one day! Hui Yu, the cute cute girl who might turn evil if you piss her off, Amanda Heng aka Stephanie Sun Lookie Likie, hope u get to listen to fan hao wen's cd soon, Beckie Ng, snap away!!! Dun burn that camera of urs yeah? Michael Cheng, a really good friend to have and who is always there(in the mood) to listen to my complaints in life, Mr and Mrs Ng(<my ex form teacher) and Mr(<My brother) and Mrs Tan, hope u two couples will love each other forever and ever! And finally! To all those people that i fail to mention but i really treasure(sorry, i dun want this entry to take forever to be read finished), i love u people and a very merry christmas to all and to all who have a good heart! : )

the northen star

~ 11:00 p.m. ~

Wah...so long never update my journal, abit guilty here...been really really busy the past few days, helping out with my brother's wedding which happened last Sunday, taking care of all my relatives coming from indonesia and going to Miss Heng, or should i say, Mrs Ng, my form teacher's wedding.  I wish her and her husband, Mr Ng Wei Wei a beautiful life, (oso to my bro as well). Today's Christmas, but i am really down. My father had imposed on me an unreasonable order. That is, to stop chatting on the internet. Can you believe it? How am i suppose to keep in contact? He said alot of other unkind words as well. i'm at a lost of what to do. Damn it! Why must it happen today? WHY? God,  i am  in a foul mood today... DAMN IT!!!!! (i dun even noe if i going to use the internet again....) ARGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

~ 1:18 p.m. ~  

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2003

Been feeling kind of down this few days.  Can't explain why...yea, maybe loneliness had set foot in my heart now. There is a void of emptiness in my heart and its definitely not a good feeling.

My brother's wedding day is advancing really soon and my relatives are beginning to flock into my house family by family. Statistic shows that by Sunday, more that 25 people will be living in our five room flat. Wow, i'm kinda worried that the floor will crack or something...hehe... However, i like crowds, it keep my mind off my problems. Anyway, i'm pretty sure everyone will bond really well. Except one of my favourite cousins, Ah Kai, who was bullied by my youngest uncle to stayed on still back in Indonesia to work until Sunday evening to my brother's wedding dinner and then go back the next day morning. He hardly come to Singapore you know. haiz...You see, my fourth uncle owns a hotel and Ah Kai works there. and so does my youngest uncle. They are like sworn enemies or something and they fought a couple of times. haiz.... that uncle of mine is unreasonable but what can i do? He's still my uncle.., Damn it! I guess the whole picture wouldn't be complete without him...

Anyway., ive got a new layout for this website, but i doubt it looks any better, if you readers have any suggestions, please leave it on my guestbook okay? I'll be glad to read them and even use them! Thanks. Here's another story that really touched my heart when i read it. Enjoy!

Night Watch

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand.

The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.

All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.

Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

"Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father" she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me. I stayed."

~ The next time someone needs you...be there. Stay. ~

~ 9:29 p.m. ~

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2003

i feel like i'm missing out on something, can't quite put a finger on what that is...huh...i don't like that feeling...at all. Its basically like, i'm aware of what's happening around me but somehow or another, i'm not really part of it. I feel really pathetic that way....haizzz....its not other people's fault if they don't include me, but it still give me an unsettling feeling...*sob* Who can help me?

~ 10:23 p.m. ~

We are drifting apart, i'm sure of it. We all used to be the bestest of friends in the best class i've ever had but time has taken its toll. As we spent less and less time together, our gaps grew wider and wider. We ceased to do things together, much less, talking. Obvious, would be the fact that all these has contributed to our faltering friendships, and it still is. Mere strangers, had we become, that we would just walk down a street without noticing one another's existence when we crossed our paths.

Why? Why had we fail to acknowledge the very being of old friendships that were once blooming flowers in the meadow? Had we made new friends and forgotten the old? Have we all changed? Had we obliterated our past altogether and only look towards the future? Yes, life can only be lived forwards, but isn't it true that it can only be understood backwards? The true meaning of friendships is to give rather than to receive, is it because we do not receive anymore and had thus, refuse to look back at them?

Old friends are the best mirrors to our hearts and we should hold them dear. Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. It takes a long time to grow an old friend, so let us not give it up so easily. As the saying goes, "Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold" You, my old friends, are worth more than gold to me, brighter than diamonds and larger in the space of my heart than the sun. Though our communication wanes at times of absence, i'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background. It would only be us, every one of us, to recognize and hold it somewhere special in our hearts. Let it not fly away and disappear in the distance? It is destiny that tied us together and only our own hands that untied them. It is not too late still for us to save what is left. We can still regrow them, make them bloom as they did before.

My friends, i'll always remember each and everyone of you and maybe, it would be just be the same with you all. I've missed you people and i hope i wouldn't have to anymore. No lapse of time or distance of place can lessen the memories of you people in my mind. Please, oh please let us be what we were before we part? I do hope my words will motivate us to regain contacts that we had lost. Let us not forget the friendships that we once treasure, okay?

With that as a final note, i hope it will bring a whole new world, a merge of old and new, for all of us again.:) (ClASS 4E3 OF 2003 ROCKS!!!)

~ "The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."
-Elizabeth Foley- ~

~ 4:34 p.m. ~

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2003

I woke up early today to fulfil my promise to my aunt to bring her to the market today but who knows? Another aunt of mine asked her out so the plan was changed and i went all the way to Toa Payoh early in the morning with her to meet that aunt...haizz...i just hate it when people change plans like that.

I went to meet Dharni, Glenn and Frankie today. Wasn't really that an eventful time that we had if i should say...Dharni couldn't make up his mind at all on where to go...The whole thing was originally planned for us to exchange musical skills, me, singing, Glenn, rapping and Dharni, beatboxing with Frankie there, i think, supposedly to be a critic... but all that didn't really happen, change of plans again, Glenn went home first and then Frankie, who ate with us first before he left (he's going back to China and probably wouldn't be coming back again, he's going to London for further studies, BON VOYAGE and may we meet again! Ciao!). It was just me and Dharni left. He had persuaded me to watch the movie "ELF" with him (i was abit persistent in saving money at first but relented anyway as i don't see him that often).

We went to Tampines to watch the show. Yea, the show wasn't bad. In fact, it was pretty heartwarming and gave a christmasy feeling. My smile stayed on for a while even though the movie was over...hehe....anyway.... Dharni's going to bask(street performing) soon, so, friends of Dharni out there! Give him your support okay!?!? YEA!(don't say i never credit you ah...) Kay, since i don't have anything interesting on post today, i thought i'll put up a nice story for you people out there reading my journal here! Enjoy!

Keep Your Fork

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and was given 3 months to live. As she began getting her things ‘in order’, she called her pastor and asked for him to come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she wanted read, and what dress she wanted to be buried in. She also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible in her left hand. Everything was in order and as the pastor was preparing to leave, the woman suddenly remembered one final request that was very important to her. "Please Pastor, just one more thing," she said excitedly. "Sure, what is it?" came the pastor's reply. "This is very important to me," the woman continued ... "I want to be buried holding a fork in my right hand." The pastor gazed at the woman, at a loss for words.

"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the woman asked. The pastor replied "Well to be quite honest, I am puzzled by the request".

The woman explained. "You see, Pastor, in all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I remember that when the dishes were being cleared after the main course, someone would inevitably lean over to me and say, ‘Keep your fork’ ... it was my favorite part of the meal because I knew that something better was coming, like velvety chocolate cake or deep dish apple pie. Something wonderful to end the meal!"

The pastor listened intently and a smile came upon his face. The woman continued, "So, I just want people to see me there with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder ... ‘What's with the fork’... then I want you to tell them: "Keep your Fork ... the best is yet to come".

The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman good-bye. He knew that this would be one of the last times that he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of Heaven than he did.

She knew and trusted that the best was yet to come. At the funeral, every one that walked by the woman's casket saw her wearing a beautiful dress with her favorite Bible held in her left hand and a fork held in her right hand.

Over and over the pastor heard people ask the question, "Why is she holding a fork?" and his smile began to get larger and brighter each time. During his message, the pastor told the people about the conversation that he had with the woman shortly before she died. He explained the fork and what it symbolized to her. The Pastor told everyone how he could not stop thinking about the fork and how he hoped that they would not be able to stop thinking about it either.

~ So the next time you reach for your fork, let it remind you, oh so gently, that the best is yet to come ... ~

~ 10:51 p.m. ~

.::.©UnfOuNdLeGaCy aLL RiGhTs ReSeRvEd.::.