SPEECHES
Speech
Number 10 in the Communication and Leadership Manual
Old Stones
by Joyce
Fellow Toastmasters, Guests, Yes, I’m a Genealogy bug! Relax – this is not a “how to” talk. Tonight I’m going to tell you of some of my discoveries as I rambled through English cemeteries. I love cemeteries. They are so peaceful.
The epitaph is the secret. Everyone thinks they can write it, but it is a gift very few possess. It must be short, informative, neither obtrusive nor presumptuous. You are now going to form an opinion of the residents from these epitaphs.
The first is very special to me because up to the death of my grandfather in 1919 he and his ancestors were Wesleyan Methodist and definitely not allowed burial in public consecrated ground. The old churchyards were full.
John Baskerville D. 1775 a printer of Birmingham was an atheist. He wrote his own epitaph, giving instructions to his friends. It was a cone inscribed:
“Stranger, beneath this cone in unconsecrated ground, a friend to the liberties of mankind, directed his body be inurned. May the example contribute to emancipate thy mind from the evil fears of superstition and the wicked arts of priesthood.” Shortly after, the grave was desecrated, the body dismembered and tossed to the winds…but lets go to a lighter note.
In Goggleshall, Essex, we find “To the memory of Thomas Hanse. Lord thy grace is free - why not for me? and the Lord answered and said, “Because thy debts aren’t paid!”
From there I went to Leicestershire, home of my mother’s paternal family. There, a distance from the road behind a secure fence with grazing stock, stood the little stone church built in the 16th century by John Linthwait for family worship. The three old headstones were still visible. I would have loved to go to it.
In Chelmsford, Essex, was Martha Blit, buried 7th May 1681 who was the wife of 9 husbands successively, but the 9th outlived her. The text of her funeral service was, “Last of all the woman died also…”
In Shropshire, I found this lady. “Here lieth ye body of Martha Dias. Always noisy, not very pious who lived to the age of three score and ten and gave to the worms what she refused to men.”
In the village of sandy in Bedfordshire were my great-grandparents Browning. They gave the land and later freed the church of debt. Later John and his sister built the Sunday School near the church. Approaching the front door is a beautiful veined marble headstone simply inscribed, “In loving memory of John and Mary Browning” with dates and “In God’s Care.” That was another highlight of my trip to U.K. some 20 years ago.
In Wiltshire, I found one obviously not erected by the loving husband. “Here lieth Mary, the wife of John Ford. We hope her soul has gone to the lord, but if for hell she has changed this life, she’ll be better there than John Ford’s wife. 1790.”
Do you remember the story of the children of Israel? “They wanted bread and the lord gave them Manna. Old Clerk Watson wanted a wife and the devil gave him Anna.” Ribbesford, England.
We are told how it pays to advertise, but this seemed to be a little over the top. “Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died 3rd January 1803.His comely young widow of 23 years has many qualifications for a good wife and yearns to be comforted.” Yes, it is in Vermont cemetery!
This one has not yet been verified by the church… “Here lies a lewd fellow who whilst he drew breath, in the midst of life was in quest of death. Which he quickly obtained, for it cot him his life for being in bed with another man’s wife.”
This one you could not argue with – 16th Jan. 1751. Joseph Baine. “Good people, as you pass by, I pray you on me cast an eye, for as you are so once was I, and as I am so you must be. Therefore prepare to follow me.”
Friends. I hope you have enjoyed your ramble through the headstones with me and have formed some opinions of the people in residence. That you have enjoyed the wit and wisdom of their use of the old English language when used by the right people.
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