Shaddyr's Eclectic Collection > Pretender Fanfiction > Afterglow

Afterglow

by N. R. Levy

WARNING:  R for violence. MAJOR character deaths and serious angst... read at your own risk and you encouraged to have tissue around for the ending.  This is super long, which was not planned, but I hope you won't feel you've wasted the time.  There will be an epilogue to follow. Also two other less harsh warnings:  1) if you really like Rachel from the Profiler and the idea of her and Jarod being together, you might want to skip this, and 2) if you haven't read The Not So Wonderful Life and Special Valentine, this won't make much sense.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em and don't pretend to, so don't sue me.

She had always hated holidays, but now she dreaded them.  She was plagued with a horrible, gnawing sense of fear growing in her stomach as each one approached because each one was marked by a bloody reminder of how the terrible, twisted monster that her brother had become.

Parker shuddered as she thought about the death and destruction Lyle was wreaking, and all to get her attention.  It made her feel sick to her stomach to think about what he had done.  It had begun with Cassidy Tyler on Valentine's Day.  Then there was Angela Hartner on St. Patrick's Day - he had sent her heart with a shamrock resting on top. Easter had brought Christina Minell's life to an end.  Even Memorial Day was not exempt from Lyle's hideous distortion.  That was the day that he had ripped Serena Reynolds away from her three children forever.

Now July Fourth was only five days away.

The only thing that had kept her sane throughout the past six months had been sharing the burden with Jarod.  He was working so hard to try and find Lyle, and though it had slowed their operation against the Centre significantly, it was worth it to try and stop him.

The problem was that Lyle had a lifetime of experience at disappearing. He even rivaled Jarod with his ability to vanish and reappear as someone new at a moments notice.  That's what had happened in New York.  Jarod had nearly caught up with her wayward brother at the low-rent hotel he'd been hiding in, but Lyle had slipped away just before Jarod's arrival, and then just three hours later Serena Reynolds had died.

They had become so desperate to find Lyle before he could claim another victim that Jarod had convinced her to do something that went totally against her natural instincts - he had involved the authorities. Apparently during his many pretends he had begun a relationship with a man named Bailey Malone.  Malone was the head of the Violent Crimes Task Force of the FBI.  His unit specialized in tracking down serial killers,
and once Jarod had shown him Lyle's profile, Malone was ready to come on board.

Lyle had made it more difficult for them to catch him by changing his targets.  He no longer isolated his killing to Asian females; instead he was selecting targets at random.  The first woman had looked like Parker, and she and Jarod had initially believed that Lyle would target more women who bore a resemblance to her, but that had not been the case.  The victims were clearly now being selected for convenience rather than any motive that propelled Lyle before.

They had just left a meeting with Malone and another agent named Rachel Burke.  Parker had disliked the woman instantly, especially when she'd seen the welcoming smile on Burke's face when Jarod walked in the room. Jarod had nearly frozen when the woman approached him and offered a hug.  Parker's feelings turned from dislike to hatred then, and she had done little more than glare at the FBI agent through the rest of the meeting.

Now they were in her Porsche on the way back to Blue Cove.  Their meetings were held in a small inn up the coast of Delaware.  It made it easy for Parker and Jarod to get there quickly since Jarod had been a mere 30 miles from the Centre for most of the last six months.  Right under their noses, she thought, and they still can't find him.

She glanced over at him from the passenger seat, for once glad that she was not behind the wheel.  Jarod usually insisted on driving when they were together.  If he didn't, he complained the whole time about how fast she drove, and it would remind her of the days when she'd wanted to do nothing more than shoot him in the knee cap and toss him back in his cell.  Still, those days were long behind them now.

His eyes were fixed on the road, but she could see the wheels turning in his mind.  He felt responsible for Lyle's growing list of victims, guilty that he hadn't been able to stop her brother before he killed more innocents.  She understood.  She felt the same way, and she knew that she couldn't let him dwell on it too much.  Besides, there was something else she wanted to know.

"So, Jarod, how well do you know Rachel Burke?"

She watched his jaw tighten and his hands gripped the wheel a little tighter.  Then he forced himself to relax.  He did not turn to face her.

"We worked together."

"Uh-huh.  Worked together.  Worked on what, Jarod?"

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his seat.  Parker fought back a smile - the first smile she'd let surface in weeks.

"We worked together, Parker, and maybe we had dinner once or twice."

"Dinner?"  She raised her eyebrow and now Jarod glanced nervously over at her.

"Parker, what do you want?"

"Nothing.  I was just curious."  With that said, Parker turned her face back to the window and watched the trees slide by in the night.

"Just curious?"  Now it was Jarod's turn to enjoy a private smile.  "You sounded more than curious to me."

"Whatever."

Now Jarod let himself smile wide.  Despite everything that they had endured the past few months, hell, the past few years, the end result had been he and Parker growing closer and closer.  Their friendship was stronger now than it had even been during the best of their times together as children, and he cherished that.

Yet the thought also made his mood grow dark almost immediately.  She meant so much to him, too much to him to let her get hurt again, and still he continued to fail in his hunt for Lyle.  It had become such an obsession that he had put his plans for the Centre on the back burner. Though he occasionally put into play wrinkles that were softening up the Centre for the final blow, he was well behind schedule on the takedown.

He stole a quick glance at Parker as they turned off onto the back road that led not only to her house, but also to the house a mile up the road that Thomas had restored.  It was where Jarod now lived.  He loved being in that house.  He didn't know what it was - the good memories of his friend, the knowledge of what the man had meant to Parker, but since he'd moved in he had slept, really slept, for the first time in his life.  He felt at peace there, and it helped that he was close enough to get to Parker if she needed him.  And during the last few months, she had needed him a great deal.  He knew that she counted on him to keep her steady in the face of Lyle's cruel torture, and he was almost afraid to admit what it meant to him that it was him she was leaning on.

They remained silent while Jarod pulled the car up to the edge of the woods, just behind his house.  From here, Parker could go back down to the main road and turn off onto Briar without anyone knowing he had been with her.  He knew the Centre was still watching her.  He'd found two bugs in her house yesterday.  He checked it every day now.  They couldn't afford to get caught in a Centre trap, not until Lyle was out of the game for good.

Usually when they returned from these meetings, they'd had them twice a week since Jarod had alerted Malone to the case, Jarod would go home and wait for Parker to get settled, then she would order dinner in and he would walk down through the woods and they would eat and review the meeting and plan their next move both against Lyle and the Centre. Tonight, though, Jarod wondered if the trend would continue.  Parker seemed more than a little put out because of Rachel, and though Jarod didn't like knowing she was upset, it did make him feel a little special.  After all, Parker was jealous, and she was jealous about him and another woman...if she only knew how little she had to worry about.

He climbed from the car and held the door open as Parker made her way to the driver's side.  She climbed in and he shut the door, still no words exchanged from either of them.  Jarod fought the urge to mention dinner and instead turned to walk into the house as Parker backed up the car. He stopped when he heard her whistle at him.

She was staring at him, a look of careful consideration on her face, and Jarod almost felt uncomfortable under the gaze.  Then she smiled, and he felt his whole body flood with warmth.

"You want Chinese or Mexican?"

Hearing her words, he smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever milady wants."

To that she raised an eyebrow and began to back up the car again.

"Remember you said that."

Bailey Malone hated killers of all kinds, but serial killers held a special place of contempt in his heart.  He understood that every person could be driven to an act of violence once in his or her lifetime, but to kill again and again for pleasure was unthinkable to him.  Which is why Miss Parker's elusive brother was by far the most loathsome and awful killer he'd come across since Jack-of-All-Trades had met his maker.

Lyle was a monster.  He killed not with passion or need, but rather from a deep seeded desire to inflict pain on his sister through the deaths of others.  It was the same thing that had propelled Jack, yet Lyle was even worse.  Jack had enjoyed his killing, and somehow that made him more human than this thing he was chasing now.  That was only made worse by the fact that they knew they were running out of time.

Leaning back in his chair, Bailey closed his eyes a moment and thought about the situation he was now involved in.  He had brought the VCTF into a hunt for a killer that had to be caught, yet he was lying to his friends and to his superiors.  Only Rachel really knew how they'd learned of the case, and anything relating to Jarod made Bailey automatically nervous.  The man was a chameleon, a master of lies, and Bailey wasn't comfortable around anyone who could lie so well.

Miss Parker was another situation entirely.  Clearly she did not trust the authorities in any way, but Jarod had warned him that she had been raised inside the Centre and lived her life that way.  The Centre - another living tribute to evil.  What little the FBI had on the place in its files was enough to turn anyone's stomach.  That Parker and Jarod had survived childhoods in the place at all was a miracle.

Despite himself, he wanted to know more about his two new allies, but this was not the time.  Maybe after Lyle was put away and Jarod had completed his "other task" whatever that was, maybe then he could convince them to tell him the truth about the Centre.  Until then, they had plenty to keep them busy.

He stood and walked to Rachel's office.  She was sitting on the edge of her desk, her eyes fixed on a board displaying photos of all of Lyle's victims as a cup of coffee dangled dangerously from her fingers.  Bailey cleared his throat and she looked up at him with worried eyes.

"I think he's going to strike in the next 48 hours.  He'll want to make sure he gets his package to Parker on time."

"Why is he so insistent on sending the packages?"

Rachel turned her eyes back to the board as she considered Bailey's
question.

"I wasn't sure until today, but now..."

"What is it, Rachel?"

"I think it's about more than Parker.  He wants to upset her, to push her to the edge, but I think he's after something else, or rather someone else."

Bailey thought for a moment as Rachel's thought pattern coalesced in his mind, and then he knew what she meant.

"Jarod?"

She nodded, turning to face him.

"Yeah, I think so.  Something in the way they were today.  I don't know, I hadn't seen it before, but I bet Lyle has.  I think he wants to take Jarod out in order to get to Parker, and by sending the packages, but taunting her, he knows that Jarod will come."

She finished speaking and turned away, approaching the board again. Bailey let the silence hang between them for a moment before he asked the question he needed answered.

"Are you going to be okay with that, Rachel?"

"With what?"

"Jarod and Parker.  You realize what's going on there, don't you?"

Rachel turned and looked at him again, her eyes angry, but he knew the anger wasn't directed at him.  She had lost something she'd hoped for today. Bailey had been there.  He knew what that felt like.

"Why her, Bailey?  Why did he pick her?"

"I have a feeling neither one of them picked anyone.  It's just the way it is."





Lyle sat outside her house, watching.  He knew that Jarod had to be close.  There was no way that the Pretender had left Parker alone through all of this.  The question was where exactly was he.

He moved around to the side of the house, hoping to gain some view into the interior, but he was confronted with more closed shutters and blinds.  She seemed to know he was watching, and she was trying to shut him out.  That had started after the second heart arrived.

Well, sister dear, he thought.  You can close the blinds, but you can't stay hidden.






Two extra-large Styrofoam containers sat open on Parker's dining room table, and the two occupants of the room leaned back in their chairs, their stomachs full and happy.  The dinner of super-spicy chicken burritos and blue corn taquitos had been more than filling, and Parker almost felt like she could curl up and go to sleep on the sofa and sleep the rest of the night peacefully away.

Almost.

The problem was every time she looked at Jarod some worry began to bounce around in her head.  When she'd glanced over and seen him staring off into space, his hand idly playing with the rim of his wine glass, she'd wondered if he was thinking about Rachel.  When she saw worry cross his brow as he rearranged his napkin on his lap for the fifth time, she wondered if he was thinking about Lyle.  And when she'd looked up and caught him staring directly at her, she hadn't known what to think, in fact she'd lost the ability to think for the nearly two minutes that his brown eyes had locked with hers.

Jarod stood and began to clear the table and Parker took that as a chance to escape to the living room.  What in the world was going on with her?  She was jealous of that snotty little redhead?  Worried about what Jarod was thinking about - what?  Her?  That Rachel?  God, she hated it when she acted like an adolescent, and he was definitely making her act that way.  She really did have to put a stop to this.

He strolled into the living room like he'd been staying in her house his whole life, and just the sight of that, of him that comfortable – it made her want to smack him.  Who the hell was he to be so happy, so okay with everything when she was turning into a raving lunatic?  Her mind began to churn with insults she could hurl at him.  He had it coming, didn't he?  I mean, she didn't deserve to be the only one feeling so damn unsettled, did she?

Her brain clicked on something aimed straight at his poor taste in women when the phone rang.  She reached over and picked it up, glaring at Jarod who for some remarkable and unknown reason smiled wider when she looked at him with such angry eyes.

"What?"

Jarod heard her deliver her familiar greeting as he sank down into the chair opposite her.  She was definitely jealous, and despite himself, Jarod loved it.  Because jealousy meant she cared.  And if she cared, they had a chance.

His humor left him however when he saw her face drop, her glare disappearing and turning into a cold, fearful look of panic. Immediately, he moved to the couch and took her hand.  She tightened her fingers around his and finally spoke into the phone.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because, Sis, you tried to destroy my life.  Now I want to return the favor."

Parker looked up at Jarod, her earlier feelings replaced by a sense of need so strong she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt anything so powerful, and in his eyes, she found that which she was craving. Strength.  It was there, shining, and he was willing it to her.  He moved closer, his left hand coming to rest on top of the more delicate one that already sat securely held in his right, and he did all of this without once moving his eyes from hers.  In that gaze, Parker was able to remember who she was, and that gave her the strength to do what they had talked about tonight with Bailey and Rachel.  With her eyes still fixed on Jarod, she lowered her voice, let in a tremor she knew well from the nights she'd sat crying out against the injustices of her life and then she set in motion the plan they had designed to end the nightmare of Lyle's existence.

"Lyle, please, I'm begging you.  Stop this, please, stop this."

There was a bit of silence, and Parker knew Lyle was trying to decide if he believed what he was hearing.  She squeezed Jarod's hand a little tighter.

"Miss Parker the ice queen...if I didn't know you better, I'd think you were scared?  Is that it, Sis?  You afraid of the big, bad wolf?"

"Lyle, you have to stop hurting other people.  Please.  I promise, I won't tell Daddy.  I won't tell anyone.  You have to stop."

From his hiding place, Lyle cursed the fact that he couldn't see her. Damn it, could she be that good an actress?  No, he thought, it was his plan.  He had known that she was weak, that innocent blood on her hands would leave her at the breaking point, and that's where she was.  Good. Jarod would pick up on it, and he would come, and then he would kill them both.

"Why should I believe you, Parker?"

"Lyle, please, I'll do anything to keep you from hurting someone else. Please."

"Tell you what, Sis.  You bring me your witness, I'll turn myself over to you."

"What?"

"Sue-Li, the girl from my apartment that night we had our little mishap in the alley.  She's the only other one who knows what happened, well, other than Jarod, and if you and I are telling the same story, who's going to believe him?"

Parker winked at Jarod, and he smiled back in approval.  She was doing beautifully.  If he hadn't been sitting here with her and only listening over an extension, he'd be hard pressed to believe that she wasn't really a trembling, terrified mess.

It had been Bailey who'd felt it was time to try and lure Lyle out into the open.  With only a few days to go till another holiday, it was their only realistic chance to keep him from killing again.  Even if that danger hadn't been looming, Jarod was ready to end this.  The longer it went on, the greater a chance there was that Lyle might actually harm Parker again, and Jarod had no intention of letting that happen.


"Lyle, I can't let you hurt her."  Parker let the last few words catch in her throat as she said them, hoping the touch wasn't wasted on her target.

"Then someone else is going to have to take her place, Parker."

"No, Lyle, please.  No more killing."

A smile filled Lyle's face as he thought about Parker's words, the shakiness in her voice.  He had her.  Damn it, he actually had her.

"Why don't we talk about it face to face?"

"Y-you want me to meet you?"  She was afraid of him.  Good.  The bitch deserved to be afraid.

"Yes, Parker.  That's the deal.  No one dies this week if you agree to a meeting."

There was silence, then he heard her clear her throat.

"All right, I'll meet you.  I have to meet Daddy tomorrow, but I can get
away the next day."

"I'll call you at 3:00 day after tomorrow.  You'll have one hour exactly to get where I tell you, or somebody's heart is going to get added to your collection.  Same goes if you don't come alone."

"All right, I promise, I'll do what you say, just don't hurt anyone else."

The line went dead and Parker looked at Jarod as she turned off the portable phone and leaned against the back of the couch.

"He wants to meet.  Day after tomorrow he'll call at 3:00, but I only have an hour to get to the meet."

Jarod nodded and moved to his jacket.  He pulled his cell phone out and then retuned to the couch.

"I'll call Bailey.  His team can be close."

Parker nodded, and waited as Jarod dialed the number.  Then she stood, suddenly feeling the need to be alone.  She walked quickly to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her as she heard the warm timbre of Jarod's voice begin speaking in the other room.

It seemed to Parker she sat alone in that room for an hour, but when she heard Jarod's knock, it had been barely five minutes.  She stood and moved to the door, opening it.  She then turned quickly and headed back to her seat on the bed, her head carefully lowered to prevent any chance of eye contact with Jarod.  After a moment he sat down beside her.

"It's all set.  The VCTF unit will stage about five miles from the Centre on the interstate so they can pick you up no matter where he sends you."

Parker nodded, but she said nothing.  Slowly, Jarod moved his hand so that his fingers could gently guide her chin up, and then he carefully brushed her hair out of her face so she had nowhere else to hide from him.

"It's okay, Parker."

"What?"  Her voice caught in her throat as she spoke, and this time she had not made it happen, it had come of its own accord.  She silently cursed the fact that she seemed unable to keep any shred of her Miss Parker mask intact around him any more.

"It's okay that you're really afraid of him.  I want you to be afraid of him.  It will keep you alive."

She closed her eyes a moment and took a deep breath.  How the hell did he always know what she was thinking, and when did she start to count on the fact that he always would?

Parker opened her eyes and smiled weakly at him.

"I don't want to talk about him anymore today, okay?  Talk to me about the Centre.  How have your little bugs been doing?"

"They're doing well.  Broots is able to kill them after a few hours, but they are getting the job done first.  I have almost all the files we need to finish the job.  I think you're right, I think the two-fold attack is the best idea.  We'll use the media to expose their fraud and the authorities to start an investigation into the criminal activities. That way none of them will be able to hide."

"Jarod, you do realize that once they understand what's happening, the Triumvirate and my father will do everything they can to protect themselves...anything, and that includes hurting people."

"I know.  I have the disk all ready for you to give to Broots.  It will delete any references to you, him, Sydney, Angelo and my entire family. The rest of them will have to fend for themselves."

"Sam, Jarod.  He's spent the last six months trying to hunt down my brother, you can't let him hang."

Jarod nodded.  He would never like Sam, but the man was important to Parker, and that made him worth saving.

"And what about the answers you still need?"  Parker stared at him, her gaze hard and intense as she waited for her answer.

It was Jarod's turn to feel a little uncomfortable now, and he stood, crossing the room as he flexed his hands over and over again.

"I will find my family, Parker."

"We could wait a little longer.  I could have Broots do more intense checks.  That little man can find the lint on the needle in the haystack if you ask him to."

Jarod ignored her comment and continued to pace.  She was about to speak again when he stopped at the nightstand on the left side of her bed and picked up the framed photo of her and her mother.  Parker sat silently as he stared at it, his fingers gently tracing the faces in the photo. After a moment, he blinked, and she suspected he was blinking away tears.  Why?  What about the photo had made him cry?

Just as suddenly as he had picked it up, Jarod returned the photo to the nightstand and headed for the door.

"We've waited long enough."

He opened it, about to leave when he stopped and spoke again without turning toward her.

"I know you had Broots try to find my family, Parker, and in case you're wondering, I know you did it for me, not to trap me."

With that he closed the door.  There was no question that he would stay.  He would work for hours at the computer, trying to think up more damage he could inflict on the Centre, more things they could do to secure the trap for Lyle, and then he would sleep two hours on her sofa and wake up more refreshed than anyone who never slept had a right to be.

Parker quickly changed into a set of silk pajamas and climbed into bed. As she snuggled against her pillows, she looked at the photo that had so affected Jarod earlier.  He had seen the picture a hundred times.  What about it today had touched him so deeply?

The thought stayed with her as she fell asleep, and she spent the night in a haze of nightmares and dreams that moved alternately from her brother's sick world of death to a beautiful two-story house where two smiling babies looked up at her with toothless grins, their arms extended toward her as if she were the most important person in their lives.

Jarod lay on the couch in the darkened room, acutely aware that Parker was only a few feet away.  He wanted so much to walk in and wake her up and tell her that he'd seen their future today in that still black and white moment from the past.  What stopped him was the fear that she wasn't ready to hear it.  And how could she be?  How could she be ready to know that in her tiny, cherubic face he had seen the two perfect babies they created in his dream?  And yet he knew that the feeling in his gut was dead on.  The dream was more than a dream, and though he didn't really believe in psychic phenomena, he did know that somehow, what he'd seen was going to happen.  Olivia and Eli were going to happen.

In different parts of the house, Catherine and Kyle sat watch over the two people they loved and wished again that what lay ahead could be easier for them both.  Still, they knew that the happiest ending possible was already building itself, and in that they took comfort.





Two days later, in another room far away from the quiet of Parker's house, Thomas' ghostly figure stood watching Lyle make his final preparations for Parker's arrival.  He thought for a moment about how people think that once you're dead, you can't feel anything.  But he felt - he felt hatred for this man who had worked so hard to hurt the woman Thomas loved.  He felt rage as he looked at the bound and gagged figure who sat across the room.  Damn Lyle.  They had all known he would not play fair, but to do this...it made Thomas wish for a few moments of solidity so he could punch the smug asshole square in the face.

He would have to try and pass that thought on to Parker at some point. If anyone deserved to deck Lyle, it was her.

Lyle surveyed his trap and smiled.  It didn't matter if she was lying or not, she was his.  If she kept her word, he would take her, then he would call her little pet Broots.  The technician would make sure Jarod found out she was in danger and the pretender would come.  Of course, the greater probability was that his sister was a lying bitch and that this was all a trap to get him in one of Jarod's carefully crafted snares.  And still it didn't matter.  Jarod would yield, and then he would have them both.  He knew them so well.  He had Jarod to use against Parker and by God did he have the perfect weapon to use against Jarod.

Smiling, he glanced at his watch.  2:00.  One more hour, and his grandest play would begin.





Parker sat in her office, her toe tapping against the floor.  She had alerted Sam to the fact that something with Lyle was happening, but she had decided not to tell Broots and Sydney.  Lyle had hurt enough people, and she was already risking Jarod.  She would not risk anyone else she cared for.  Despite Jarod's planning, despite the presence of the VCTF, there was still a chance something could go wrong, and so Sam had been given two vital tasks to carry out if something went wrong.  He was to deliver two envelopes to Sydney and Broots, and he was to get her baby brother out of the Centre.

Jarod did not know she had made these plans.  He would be upset that she thought something could go wrong, and she knew this.  Still, she couldn't leave them unprotected.  They were - God, they were family. These people whom she was connected to by a web of pain and deceit and betrayal, they were the only real family she had ever known.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her phone.  She glanced at the clock as she reached for the receiver.  It was 3:00 exactly.

"What?"

"Take the Centre access road out to the Interstate.  Go to Rural Route 5.  Drive for 20 miles and turn left.  You'll know it when you see it. Anyone comes, and the person sitting across from me dies."

The line went dead and Parker hung up, carefully removing the small microphone that had just relayed Lyle's instructions to Jarod and the VCTF team.  Within five minutes, she was driving away from the Centre. As she turned off onto the interstate, she saw a group of state highway maintenance trucks in the distance.  They were heading toward her in a line, and she found herself hoping that they contained the VCTF agents who were supposed to be following her.

What she didn't know was where Jarod was.  He was certainly on his way to the meeting point, but their plan of action had changed after a brief meeting with Bailey and Rachel early that morning.  Rachel was convinced that Lyle wanted to kill Jarod.  Parker didn't care what it took or who she had to cooperate with, but she was not about to let anything happen to Jarod, not after this morning.

It had all come out of nowhere and yet it had been building for so long.  She was sitting there in that room with Jarod and Bailey and Rachel, and Bailey and Jarod had stepped out to check on some equipment and Rachel had stood up and crossed the room.  Parker had sensed some heavy tension in the female agent and so had turned around in her chair to find Rachel's back to her.  Then the woman opened her mouth, and everything in Parker's life changed.

"You realize he's risking his life for you?"

"Yeah, I kind of got that one, but thanks for checking."

Rachel whirled around then, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Parker dead in the face.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Do you have any idea how many times Jarod and I have risked our lives for each other?  It's getting to be old hat."

Parker stood then, moving away from Rachel.  She was trying to keep her cool.  This was not a discussion she wanted to have and certainly not a person she intended to have it with.  Unfortunately the little redheaded twit wasn't catching on.

"You have no idea how special he is, do you?  No idea what you could be throwing away..."

And with that Parker's last nerve frayed away.  She turned, her arms crossing in front of her as she advanced on Rachel.

"Don't you presume to tell me anything about Jarod.  You have no idea what I know about that man, no idea of what we've lived through together.  You think you have something to say about nearly 30 years of history, that the small bits and pieces of information Jarod might have shared with you give you some right to comment on the lifetime that we've lived?  You can go to hell, lady, 'cause you have nothing to say I want to hear."

Parker stood her ground, her gaze burning into and through Rachel. Finally the FBI agent relented and stepped back, and satisfied, Parker uncrossed her arms and stepped away, turning her back to the other woman.  She hoped it was over.  It was not.

"I could fight you for him."

Parker whirled on her 6-inch heel and daggers flew out of her eyes as Rachel fell in her sights.

"No, you couldn't.  You don't have what it takes to fight me for him, and let me save you the trouble of asking what that might be.  What you don't have is Jarod."

"And you're so certain you do?"

Parker let a half-laugh go as she smiled bitterly at her "opponent." This woman really wanted it with both barrels, and suddenly Parker knew that she wanted to let her have it, wanted to let everyone and everything that had ever stood between her and happiness get exactly what they deserved.

"I'm certain that you're probably thinking I don't deserve him, and that you might even be right.  I'm certain that Jarod has been running from demons and shadows his whole life, and that for a while I was one of those nightmares for him.  I'm certain that neither one of us, Jarod or me, really knows what it feels like to free, to be able to say we love someone and not feel bathed in fear the moment the words are out of our mouths.  Trust me, I got a list of names in the Blue Cove Cemetery who can attest to how dangerous those words can be.  But the one thing, Rachel, that I am most certain of is that for some reason, despite everything we've done to each other and that's been done to us, Jarod is here fighting this fight with me for me.  Now you tell me, do I have him?"

Rachel began to shrink with the truth of Parker's words, moving away from the woman who had just crushed what little hope she had left.  At the same time, Parker felt her soul expand in her body.  My God, what had she just said?  Jarod was hers?  Jarod was...oh God, Jarod was hers.  And she was Jarod's.  And just that suddenly, all the years of hiding and fear and pretending melted away and she knew the one central truth of her life.

Now she was sitting in her car, driving toward Lyle, her heart pounding in her chest from fear of what was to come, but she knew somehow they could do this.  She and Jarod would beat Lyle, and then they would beat the Centre, and then they would - they would be together.  They would make that happy scene she remembered so vividly from the dream she'd had in the hospital.

Something caught Parker's eye and she realized she was about to drive past the road Lyle had told her to turn on.  She straightened herself in her seat and refocused on the task at hand.  There was time to dream later.  Right now, she had to put an end to the sick game Lyle had trapped her in.

Lyle heard the door of a car close and he smiled.  He did not see the contingent of angelic figures that filled the room.  They had almost not come.  They could not interfere, and some of the events of today were not set in stone.  People they cared about could be hurt, but still, they had appeared one by one, not wanting to leave those they loved alone.  Thomas, Catherine, Faith and Kyle now stood solemnly around the room, waiting to see what would happen.

Parker entered, her gun drawn, her eyes scanning the room for some sign of Lyle or of any booby trap me might have set.  From somewhere behind the partitions Lyle had set up in the warehouse, she thought she heard the sound of muffled crying.  Well, he'd said there was a person here, one who would suffer if she did not follow his instructions.  Again, despite her disdain for Rachel Burke, she hoped the woman was nearby, and that Bailey Malone and his team were ready to charge in if it became necessary.

Swallowing hard, Parker stepped farther into the room.  She was in the middle when she turned and caught sight of a special gift Lyle had left for her.

It was a board with pictures of all of his victims - not the nice, pre-death pictures Jarod had shown her, but horrible, graphic images of the women after he'd removed their hearts from their chests.

Startled, she took a ragged breath and stepped back from the photos.  He was trying to rattle her, and despite his initial success, she knew she had to fight him.  Her life - Jarod's life and the life of whoever else was in this building depended on her strength right now.  Her father had tried to turn her into the Ice Queen - and for once, she was grateful. She knew how to survive this, all she had to do was surrender to it. With that thought, Parker stood a little straighter, her shoulders squaring.  He would not get to her.

"Well, Sis, it's good to see you."

His voice was behind her, but across the room, and she whirled, gun extended as her eyes came to rest on him.

"Nice way to greet your brother."

"Last time I saw you, you shoved a knife in my chest.  I figured the gun was appropriate."

Lyle let a sly, knowing smile play out on his face, and he reveled in the unease it caused her.

"Touché, Parker.  Believe it or not, I'm very glad you survived our little encounter.  It has caused me some inconvenience, but this is going to be so much more fun than leaving you to bleed to death in an alley."

"Nothing about this is fun, Lyle.  Nothing.  Now listen, I talked to Tommy Tanaka.  He'll take Sue-Li out of the country.  He can make sure she doesn't come back."

"Not good enough.  She could tell Tanaka what happened, and I won't have him holding that over me."

"She's not an idiot, Lyle.  She wants to live."

"And that's why she'd promise you anything.  No go.  The girl has to go."

"There has to be another way."  She let the tremor come into her voice, and his smile returned.

"Not one I can think of."

"Well then," Jarod's voice boomed from the rafters of the warehouse, and Parker felt her stomach tighten.  It was really happening, and now they could not turn back.  All she could do was hope that their plan would work, "let me suggest another option."

As Jarod swooped to the ground on the rope and pulley he'd found hanging from the interior beams, Lyle moved toward Parker.  This was part of the plan, and Parker knew that as much as she hated to lose a fight, she had to let him win.  They had to let Lyle think he was in control as long as there was someone else's life at stake.

Lyle lunged for Parker and they struggled over the gun.  He hit her firmly in the shoulder, sending a pain shooting through her arm, and though it hadn't really hurt as badly as she made it appear, she let her gun drop from her hand.  In an instant Lyle was standing behind her, the gun at her head.  Jarod held a gun of his own, extended from his right hand.

"Jarod, what a surprise.  You know, I knew my sister couldn't keep a secret."  As he spoke, he slung his arm around her neck, and pulled back hard to cut off her airway.  She had expected this and was able to use a small evasive maneuver to get her right hand between his arm and her throat.  This gave her some measure of protection against the force he could exert, and left him believing he had the upper hand.

"Lyle, let her go."

"Mm-hmm, sure.  I'll let her go, Jarod.  Question is, will she go to heaven or hell?"

"If you hurt her, I'll -"

"You'll what?  You stood by and watched me kill your brother and you did nothing.  Hell, if you had been man enough to kill me when you had me up in the Appalachians, hell when you kidnapped me to keep Parker away from Thon --- if, Jarod, you had been able to kill me then, none of those women would be dead, and your sweet little Parker here wouldn't be about to join them."

Lyle pressed the gun hard against the side of Parker's head, and for an instant, he seemed fully prepared to kill her, but Jarod held his ground. He knew Lyle liked playing games too much to end it this quickly.  That's why he'd agreed to let Parker "get taken hostage."  No, he had some sick twist he wanted to add to this little scenario, it was just a matter of waiting to see what it was.

"What would you to me, Jarod, if I did kill her?  Would even that make you kill me?  You do realize that I've seen it, don't you?  That thing that passes between the two of you when you're anywhere near each other.  And God, the pathetic way you run to her rescue every time someone so much as says boo to her...I mean, a blind man could see it.

"So, knowing that, Jarod, I have a question for you.  How much do you love her?  I mean, is it just I-would-die-for-you kind of love, or is it, I-will-let-another-die-for-you kind of love?  Ever wonder about that?  'Cause you know what, I did."

Lyle moved to his right then, toward one of the partitions that divided the room, his arm tightening around Parker's throat as he dragged her along.  He kept the gun aimed alternately at Parker's head and Jarod's chest as he reached out with his right foot and knocked the partition off balance, causing it to fall forward.

There, sitting bound to a chair that sat precariously balanced on two legs was Sydney.  He was gagged with electrical tape, and a noose was wrapped around his neck.  The rope from the noose extended upwards and disappeared into the rafters above.  Another rope was tied to the crossbar under the chair.  That rope lay across the floor, within reach of Lyle.  One tug, and Sydney would fall from his perch.

The sick genius of the situation was not lost on Parker or Jarod. Sydney was balanced perfectly.  If anything disturbed that balance, his neck would be snapped.  There would be seconds between the action and the end of the doctor's life.  And therein lay the trap that Lyle had sprung.  Jarod was going to have to choose between the man who had served as his father and the woman who he couldn't live without.

Jarod tried to keep the horror out of his eyes as he looked at Parker. He had simmed this situation three times.  Never in those simulations had it been Sydney that was at risk.  Not that he would have been tempted to let even a stranger die at Lyle's hands, but this was unthinkable - both options were unthinkable.  He could not lose either of them.

There were options here.  Bailey and his team were outside, and certainly the microphone he was wearing had alerted them that something was wrong.  But that didn't change the fact that there was a gun aimed at Parker's head or that Lyle hated her enough to kill her.

Those two words, "kill her," they sent a chill through his body that he couldn't begin to explain.  Nothing could shatter his world as completely as the thought that she would die, that he would be without her.  It was one thing to have imagined her off somewhere happy with Thomas, but to think that the world might go on without her in it – this was something he could not begin to fathom.  Even after all the near brushes with death she had suffered, he could not see his future without her.

And then he knew.

He realized that he had known all along, from that moment when he'd held her in the alley and fought to keep her alive.  He could not be without her, and he could not be without her because he loved her.

Jarod moved his eyes to his mentor.  Sydney was frightened, certainly, but he was keeping a cool and calm façade on his face.  The two men looked at one another, and somewhere inside his soul, Sydney felt the words that Jarod was thinking.  'I love you, Syd.  I love you both.'

And though no one could have seen it happening, Sydney's lips curled into as much of a smile as the tape closing his mouth would allow.

Jarod turned his eyes back to Lyle and Parker, and his mind clicked into overdrive.  He had to distract Lyle.  He had to get that rope away from him so he couldn't hurt Sydney, but he had to do it without provoking Lyle into doing harm to Parker.  Jarod stood there, his options clicking away in his mind when something so remarkable happened, he wasn't even sure he'd really seen it.

She winked at him.

They were standing in a room with a psychopathic serial killer, one who was ready to kill both of them as well as a man they loved dearly, and she was winking at him.

And then she elbowed Lyle square in the gut.  It was the same move she had used to escape his hold in Arizona, but this time as he released her, Parker turned and delivered a vicious kick to his right hand.  The gun flew out of his grasp as he reached for her with his gloved left hand.  She started to move away, but Lyle grabbed her leg and pulled her down.  The two began a brutal fistfight as Jarod realized what she had done.

Parker had solved the problem.  She had given him the opening he needed to save them all.

He dove for the rope that lay on the floor of the warehouse and quickly reeled it in, pulling it far out of Lyle's reach.  Jarod heard voices coming, and knew that Bailey's men were moving in.  He placed the rope in Sydney's lap and tore the tape from his mentor's mouth.  A cry behind him caught his attention, and Jarod immediately moved in that direction.

Lyle had gotten Parker on her stomach, and he had his right hand clamped over her mouth and nose.  Jarod could see her struggling to breath, and he dove at Lyle, knocking him sideways and away from her body.  Parker slumped down to the floor, and Jarod instinctively reached for her, but Lyle came at him, tackling him.  The two flew around the room, exchanging blows as the warehouse filled with FBI agents.

Bailey shouted at his men to hold their ground, and Rachel and John moved to Sydney, quickly untying him from his dangerous seat, but no one interfered with the fight.

No one except Parker.

Somehow she had crawled to her gun, and it was the sound of her racking a round into the chamber that stopped everyone cold.  Lyle put his hands up and turned slowly around.  He saw Parker standing over him, the gun aimed at his head.

As Lyle moved, Jarod pulled his own bruised body to a standing position.  He moved quickly, he had to.  The look in Parker's eyes told him that.  Never had he seen her look the way she did now.  There was death in Parker's eyes - Lyle's death.  Out of the corner of his eyes, Jarod saw Bailey and Rachel begin to move toward them.  Quickly he put his hand up to hold them off.  Then he moved toward Parker, standing just to the right of her.

"We have him, Parker.  It's over."

"It isn't over."  Her voice was flat, emotionless, and Jarod was suddenly very frightened of whatever place she had gone to inside of herself.  In one corner of the room, the angels watched with trepidation.  They wished so much that this could be the end, that it would stop here and no one else they loved would suffer, but it was not meant to be.  That was clear when Jarod spoke his next words.

"You can't kill him, Parker, not like this.  You are better than that. You are better than him."

Parker's gaze remained fixed on Lyle, and several times her finger seemed to move on the trigger, but she never pulled it.  After what seemed an eternity, she lowered her arm, and Jarod stepped closer, easing the gun from her hand.

"Let's go home."

For several seconds, Parker's eyes remained fixed on Lyle's face, and she wondered if she should really be grateful that she was better than him.  She couldn't help but feel that letting him live was a mistake, and yet she could not bring herself to kill him in cold blood.

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion passed through her, and Parker realized she was sick and tired of thinking about Lyle and about death.  She wanted it to be over.  And so she did the only truly life affirming thing she could think to do at that moment.

She reached out her hand and took Jarod's in hers.

The two of them walked out of the warehouse as the agents handcuffed Lyle and began to gather evidence.  As they walked, Jarod briefly brought his eyes up to find Sydney's.  A nod from his mentor told him that the older man was all right, and Jarod and Parker continued out of the building.  Sydney watched them go, and he silently thanked whoever had watched over them today.

Catherine heard him, though, she heard Sydney's thought and sent an equally strong and heartfelt one back to him - 'be ready, Sydney, they are still going to need you so very, very much.'




Outside, Parker and Jarod stopped near her car.  And then she began to shake, her whole body trembling as the weight of the last six months slid from her shoulders.  Jarod grabbed her, pulling her into his arms as he held her up on her feet.  He could feel his chest becoming wet with her tears.

"You should have let me kill him, Jarod."

He tightened his grip on her and she moved even closer to him, till there was no distance between their bodies.

"You have enough to carry through life, Parker.  I won't let you carry him, too."

"If he ever gets out..."

"Not you, Parker.  No matter what happens, I couldn't stand to see you live with that.  You think it would be easy, but it wouldn't.  No matter what he is, he's a part of you."

That made her try to pull away from him, and he felt the angry tension that surged through her body then.

"No, he is not."

"He's your mother's son.  You would never be able to forget that, anymore than you can forget that your father is your father, in spite of everything he's done to you."

She wanted to argue more, to tell him he was wrong, but Parker suddenly realized she did not have the strength.  If he was right, then so be it.  She leaned against him, and he took her weight onto himself.  He held her tightly, his right hand moving gently up and down her back.

Jarod wasn't sure how long they stood there.  He heard car doors open and close around them, and voices raised and fell and drifted off into the distance. All this happened, and still he held Parker and still she let him.  Finally, she moved back from him, not breaking his hold, but creating distance between them so she could look at his face.

A faint smile crossed his face as he watched her thinking, and he brought his hand to her cheek, caressing it gently.

"Let's go home."

Parker looked at him and she returned his smile, though half-heartedly, as her hand rose up to sit atop his.

"I have a better idea."

"You do?"

"Mm-hmm.  You drive, I'll tell you where to go."

She stepped away and headed toward the passenger side door as Jarod, a bemused look on his face, climbed into the driver's seat.

"What are you up to, Miss Parker?"

"Drive."  She slammed the door out of habit and settled back into her seat.  It was too soon for her to really feel good, too much had just happened in such a short period of time.  But she did feel something - and for Parker, that was reason enough for the faint smile she gave to Jarod as he started the car and drove away.

part 2