Shaddyr's Eclectic Collection > Pretender Fanfiction >Trading Places
Trading
Places
Part 4, by Ce'Nedra
Disclaimer: "The Pretender" and all that goes with it do not belong to me but to NBC. So don't go calling a lawyer to sue me 'cause I got no money. I use the characters for plain and simple entertainment.
I found myself walking toward his office. The hall was quiet except for the click of my heals on the cold floor. My usual manner would be straight down the middle and fast - walking with confidence and authority - willing anyone to challenge me and all that I am. But not today. Today I'm different. So much like that scared little girl I was all those years ago. I must have looked like a fool because I changed my mind at least a dozen times today debating whether or not to go.
I walk close to the wall, my hand trailing against it looking, for some kind of support or insurance that everything is going to be okay. Yeah, funny isn't? Me looking for support, something to depend on.
He should be here. If he were, none of this would be happening. I would not feel like this, maybe I would not even be here.
My stomach knots tighter as I walk closer to the office. I can hear the voice in my head screaming for pepto. With each click of my heels, my nerves bunch tighter, as if it was being ratcheted. 'Do this. Go to him. Talk to him. He will listen.' What will his reaction be? Would he listen? Would he ridicule? Would he laugh? I swear to God if he laughs I'm gonna shoot him.
I find myself at his door. I move my hand to the doorknob. It is shaking and my palms are sweaty. Normally I'd just walk in, but I find myself wanting to knock, to respect his space. 'What's wrong with you?! Are your own dreams making you soft? This is absurd Parker just go in!' But still I knock. Once, twice, thrice.
"Enter." His voice is the same old way. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. 'Steady now Parker you can do this. It's the right thing.' It takes an eternity for me to open the door but I finally walk in and all doubt leaves me.
"Hello, Miss Parker."
"Hello, Sydney."
****
Sydney watched her as she walked towards his desk. He became concerend as he took in her appearance. "Parker are you okay? You're looking a bit pale."
"Lack of sleep Sydney."
"Perhaps you should go get some rest."
"Sure. Syd, I..." She didn't finish the sentence. She grasped the backrest of a chair with both hands, then dropped her head her head forward, looking utterly defeated.
The Psychatrists got up and walked around to her. He tenderly placed a hand on her shoulder, and she found a look of compassion on his face when her eyes lifted to meet his.
"Parker, are you sure you don't need a doctor?"
"I don't need a doctor, Sydney. I need to talk to you."
He nodded. "Certainly."
He motioned her to a chair, but she looked around his office and shook her head. "Not here. Too many walls have eyes and ears. Can I come to your place later on?"
"That would be fine, Miss Parker."
She gave him an abrupt nod, then turned to walk out. Sydney touched her arm and she stopped.
"I hope you know that I'm always here for you."
She managed a smile. "I'm glad Syd.... I have no one else to turn to, and this time I need refuge."