Title: Killing Time
Author: Shade
Rating: PG-13
Summary:  Time is what you make it, at least if you're Rodney McKay.
Pairing: McKay/Beckett
Disclaimer: All characters property of MGM.  No profit is made from this work.
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for the Atlantis episode "Before I Sleep".  Heavy spoilers from the SG-1 episodes Moebius parts 1 and 2.
Notes: Some dialogue taken from the screenplay of The Family Man written by David Diamond and David Weissman, and the Stargate: SG-1 two part episode "Moebius" written by Joseph Mallozzi, Paul Mullie, Brad Wright, and Robert C. Cooper.  Jaffa/Goa'uld translations from http://members.liwest.at/reno/transl_goa.htm


No time like the present.
–Mrs. Manley


Rodney finished the repairs on the giant underground generator with only a minimum of complaining.  He wouldn't even be doing this electrician's work if the major had bothered to listen to him the first time.  Well, he couldn't entirely blame Sheppard.  How was Rodney to know that fiddling around trying to gauge the power output would cause the whole thing to stop?  And really, who builds their whole society to run on one power source?  That's just asking for trouble.

Finished, he stepped back and heard the huge machine start to cycle again.  The lights flickered on, revealing the rest of the vast post-industrial cave.  His assistant, one of the local men, switched off the large flashlight that he had been holding.

"There you go, back to normal," Rodney said, wiping off his filthy hands on a dirty rag.  He'd have to sanitize them thoroughly when he got back to the Jumper.

"Thank you, Rodney," the man said, hopping down off his perch.

"No problem, it was just a matter of reconfiguring the—How'd you know my name?  I don't remember telling it to you."

"What else would you be called?  Besides, that's what Major Sheppard called you.  I rather liked the annoyed way he said it too."  They walked back up the metal stairway that would take them to the surface.  Rodney lagged behind and wished for an elevator as the man continued.  "You were pretty confident that your idea would work."

"Well, I am a genius."

"A genius, huh?"

Rodney smirked when the man turned and gave him a skeptical look.  The doorway was sealed when they reached the top of the stairs.  Rodney had insisted on it for safety.  If the generator had blown, a minor chance at best, then controlling the blast radius would have been critical.  Rodney and the volunteer had been sealed in and the area evacuated.  He gave two clicks on his radio and waited for a response.  The major piped up immediately and said he was on his way.

"You're pretty sure of yourself aren't you?" the other man said as they waited.

Rodney just nodded.  He hated chatty locals.

"You never doubted for one second?"

Rodney was genuinely surprised by the question and answered, "Of course not."

"You've never had regrets?"

"Regrets?  What is this?  You know I kind of just saved your planet from the Dark Ages, and this is the thanks I get?"

"I'm just saying that you seem like a smart guy.  At a certain point you're going to do something and there will be no turning back..."

Rodney gave a tight sigh.  "Okay, first of all?  Smart is an insult.  I'm way better than smart.  Secondly?  I hardly need some underprivileged yokel giving me advice."

The man crossed his arms and leaned against the rough cave wall next to the door.  He didn't look angry, just calculating. That worried Rodney more than anything.  It meant that the man was going to try and argue with him.  He hated that because it wasn't like there would be any challenge in it.

"Yokel?" the man said finally.  "You know we didn't have a problem until you and your buddies showed up.  We didn't need your help."

"Everyone needs something," Rodney snapped.

"Yeah, what do you need?"

"Me?"

"You just said everyone needs something."

"I have everything I need, thanks so much," Rodney said wryly.  "Well, Colonel Carter wouldn't be....  But that's not important.  Just because you were born on an insignificant galaxy filled with a species that wants to eat you—"

"Oh man, I'm going to enjoy this one... Just remember, Rodney, you did this.  You brought this on yourself."

Rodney froze.  Was the guy threatening him?  He wasn't moving away from the wall, but even so.  Rodney stood straighter and rested his hand on the butt of his nine millimeter.  The man just smirked at this reaction, but before things could go further, there was the sound of wrenching metal, and the door popped open.  Sheppard poked his head in.  The major's greeting stopped in his mouth when he saw Rodney's stance.  He glanced over at the other man and back at Rodney with a questioning look.  Rodney ignored it and hurried past him into the tunnel that would take him outside.  He was feeling a little claustrophobic.

Rodney didn't see the man again as they were leaving.  It was a small matter of apologizing and receiving thanks all at the same time before they were in the Puddle Jumper and back to Atlantis.  He was dreading the meeting with Elizabeth because she would surely have a few things to say about their trip.  It was like M7G-677 all over again.  Only this time it wasn't a moon full of kids, so maybe it wouldn't look as bad.

The team made its way to the infirmary for the usual post-mission check-up.  Rodney sat on one of the beds and swung his feet forward and back.  There were things he needed to be doing in his lab.  Who knew what his peons had been up to while he was gone?  After a few moments, Carson made his way over to look at his chart.  The nurse had already taken his vitals.  It was just a matter of Carson signing off on him.

"I hear you caused another bit of trouble, Rodney," Carson said gleefully and pulled out his pen light.

Rodney winced at the bright light being shown in his eye.  "It was no big deal.  Don't pay any attention to Ford."

"No ZPM then?"

"No, the energy readings were all from their generator.  Not useful to us in the least."

"Well, as far as I'm concerned, any mission you all come back from unscathed is a successful one."

"You're a doctor, of course that's all you care about.  Some of us have higher standards to live by."

Carson gave him a grin and looked at the chart again.  Rodney was practically bouncing in place.  How hard could it be to see that he was fine?  Were his vitals written in Greek?  Actually, considering the international spirit of their mission, they might well be.

"Major Sheppard said that you had a bit of trouble with one of the natives," Carson said without looking up from the paperwork.

Rodney sighed.  "Is this your idea of subtle, Carson?  Because if so, you need a dictionary.  I'm fine.  The guy just spooked me is all."

Carson peered up at him without lifting his head making Rodney feel like he was being admonished by his dad.  He hated when the old man did that.

"Are you sure?"

"Read my lips.  I. Am. Fine."

"All right then, off you go."  Rodney jumped down from the bed and had started towards the door when a hand landed on his shoulder.  "If you do have something to talk about, you know I'm always here," Carson said with a serious look before removing the hand.  Rodney rolled his eyes and headed off to the briefing to get chewed out by Elizabeth.  All in all, he wasn't having a very good day.  It got lousier when he finally got back to his lab.  

"How is everything?" Rodney asked as he flopped down at his workstation.  A couple of the scientists suddenly scurried out of the room.  Rodney watched them leave and then turned an unhappy eye towards Zelenka.

"Well, that depends.  How was your mission?"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Answer question."

"It was horrible," Rodney said, rubbing his eyes.

"In that case, everything is fine," Zelenka said and quickly swiveled his chair to stare at his computer.

Rodney groaned.  "What happened?"

Zelenka twirled back around.  "Are you sure you want to hear?"

"Please.  It couldn't possibly be any more annoying than this day has already been."

"Sorenson and Kavanagh started the testing on the new device we found in the labs in section C12."

Rodney narrowed his eyes and made a quick motion with his hand for the other man to continue.

"They set up the data wrong and—"

"The results are useless."

"Yes, not only this, but I believe they may have burnt out the leads on the device during testing.  I think it is dead."

"Great.  Just great."  Rodney dropped his face into his hands.  He wanted to do his usual ranting and raving, but he was just too tired to bother.

"It was my fault.  You were gone.  I should have supervised."

"Don't be a martyr.  It was their fault for not double checking before they proceeded.  Send me what they did get to my computer.  Maybe I can rerun the tests in simulation with the output information they got."

Zelenka hopped down from his chair and stood next to Rodney's.  He took off his glasses and rubbed his eye before replying, "First you should sleep.  You were gone on mission for twenty-seven hours."

"If I set the computer up right, it'll run itself and I can go to bed.  If I don't do this now, something new will pop up tomorrow and it'll never get done.  You’re the one that should go to bed.  Do you ever sleep?"

Zelenka smirked. "I do not need sleep.  I am robot."

"Yes, well creak on down to your quarters and reboot or something then."

Zelenka nodded and patted him on the shoulder before leaving.  The lab was quiet.  Everyone else had probably deserted to their beds.  Rodney sighed and started from scratch, knowing full well he'd be burning the midnight oil once again.  He crossed his arms on the table and rested his head on them as his laptop chugged through numbers.

---

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
–Paul Valery


A warm, strong hand squeezed the back of his neck, and Rodney jerked awake.  He looked around muzzily until he came nose to nose with Carson.  The doctor had on his usual worried look.  Rodney pulled back and rubbed his eyes.

"You know," Carson said, "they have this great new invention for when you're sleepy.  They call it a bed."

"Yes, that's very funny.  What time is it?" he asked and glanced at his laptop only to see that his program must have run through because the screen was empty.

"Late.  Come on, home with ye."

"I just have to check—" he started, but Carson quickly interrupted.

"No.  I can have you banned from the lab, but we don't want to go there.  Now, come on."

Rodney let Carson pull him from his seat.  He was quickly escorted out of the lab and into the hall before he could come up with a protest.  Carson pushed a jacket into his hands.  When he glanced down, he was surprised to find that it wasn't his uniform jacket but a plain brown one.  They stopped at an elevator, and Carson pulled out a keycard and swiped it quickly before pushing the down button.  Rodney looked around in confusion.  He was standing in a plain gray hallway with concrete on every side.  A pair of soldiers in full fatigues walked past them without looking.  The plain gray elevator was just a shade lighter than the halls and had Level 19 painted across the doors in white.

Rodney had worked at several underground facilities in his time: Area 51, the SGC, and that horrible little hole the Russians had him working in outside of Moscow.  So it took him a few seconds for it really to sink in that he wasn't in Atlantis anymore.  The elevator doors opened, and Carson pulled him inside by the elbow.

"Where—?"

"I just have to drop this file off in the General's office and then we can go," Carson answered holding up a folder.

Rodney watched as the twenty-seven button was pushed.  There was only one button below it, twenty-eight.  That made their location obvious.  Somehow, Rodney and Carson were back at Stargate Command.  Rodney used the short time it took to go down eight floors to try to figure out whether he was dreaming or not.  If he realized he was dreaming wouldn't he wake up?  The events on the mist-people planet had unsettled him more than he'd ever let on.  Going home then had seemed so real.  How could he ever be sure about anything?  Rodney shook his head.  There was no use getting paranoid.  He was probably just asleep in his lab and homesick.  Although, why he chose the SGC instead of his apartment to dream about was a mystery.  

The elevator doors opened, and Rodney followed Carson down the corridor that ended up next to General O'Neill's office.  Only it wasn't General O'Neill sitting behind the desk.  George Hammond looked up when Carson knocked on the door frame and waved them both in.  Carson handed over the folder, and they started up a quick conversation about some kind of medical tests.  Rodney wasn't too interested.  He stepped past the General's desk and out into the briefing room.  He wondered if Colonel Carter would be in this dream.  And, if so, what she'd be wearing, or not wearing as the case may be.  Something was odd, odd enough that it brought Rodney out of his lecherous musings.  It took him a few seconds to realize just what was wrong.

"What the hell!" he yelped and plastered himself up against the large window that over looked the gate room.

Carson and Hammond both moved into the briefing room quickly at his outburst.  Carson moved to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder, just as he had done hours ago in the Atlantis infirmary.  Rodney rounded on him and gestured wildly to the room below.

"Where the hell is the Stargate?" he demanded.

Both men looked at him in confusion.  They shared a worried glance with each other before looking back at him.

"Excuse me, doctor.  The what?" Hammond asked in his Texas drawl.

Rodney pointed at the large empty room below them just beyond the glass and yelled, "The Stargate!  You know, big round ring, takes you to other planets."

"Other planets?" Carson repeated in an amused voice.

Rodney sighed.  "This is the worst dream ever."

"Rodney, what are you talking about?"

"Me, in my lab dreaming all this nonsense when I should be working."

"You're not asleep.  I just woke you up, remember?  We just left your lab," Carson said slowly, as if speaking to a rather dense child.

"Not that lab.  My lab back on Atlantis."

Hammond and Carson again exchanged a worried look. Rodney rolled his eyes at them.  This was the part of the dream where no one believed him.  It must be anxiety.  Heightmeyer had warned him about how his body would likely react to all the stress.

"Dr. McKay, are you sure you're feeling all right?" Hammond asked, still looking confused.

"I'm fine. I'm just having a really stupid dream."

"Rodney," Carson said in his soft doctor voice, "you're starting to worry me."

"Carson, don't start.  I don't have time for this."

"Doctor, I think you've been working too hard.  Doctor Beckett, I think you should see him home.  Try to get some rest, son.  The job will still be here when you get back.  I promise."

Rodney made an exasperated noise and circled the briefing room table to go down the stairs.  There was no one in the control room.  There were hardly any computers or anything.  Carter's dialing computer didn't exist.  You didn't need a dialing computer if there was nothing to dial.  He turned his back on the window and the empty room beyond.  Carson was standing on the bottom step watching him.

Rodney said softly, "It's not here."

"What's not?"

He ignored the question and asked one of his own.  "Carson, am I really dreaming?"

"No."

"Are you some mist person?"

"What?" he asked with genuine confusion.

Rodney rubbed his eyes and when he pulled his hands away Carson was there.  He was led back to the elevator without another word.

---

Time spent with cats is never wasted
–Colette


Rodney was quiet the whole drive.  Things were circling around in his mind, but they still weren't making much sense.  Every time he looked from the window over to Carson, he got a concerned look in return.  After the first few times, Rodney just stopped looking.  Carson was driving a beat-up old Volvo, which made him snort when he first saw it.  They had taken the winding road down from the Cheyenne Mountain Complex into Colorado Springs proper and out into a residential neighborhood with relatively similar houses.  Rodney hated housing complexes.  They were so cookie cutter perfect, as if making the outside a Fifties dream would automatically make the inside something Ward Cleaver would be proud of.  It was obnoxious and a waste.  The house Carson pulled into had a two-car garage and was as plain as all the other houses on the block except for the large clockwork orrery of the sun and first six planets in the front yard.  At least, Rodney thought, he had made some mark on his home.  Carson used a garage door opener and pulled the Volvo in beside a black BMW M3.  It wasn't new, but it was obviously well taken care of.  Rodney coveted it immediately and wondered if it was his.

He followed to the back door, and it was only when Carson pulled out a set of keys from his own pocket that Rodney started to wonder whose house he'd been brought to.  He looked back at the M3 longingly and stepped in behind Carson.  They were barely through the door when a purring ball of fluff wrapped around his ankles.  Rodney bent down and picked up Heisenberg.  He hugged the dark tabby and scratched behind her ears.  He'd missed his cat so much since going to Atlantis.  Heisenberg was one of the few things on the planet that had ever shown true affection back at him, and he'd missed having someone curl up on the bed with him when he read or worked on his laptop at night.  Carson had disappeared down a hallway as soon as they'd made it inside, so Rodney put the cat down and went in search of his friend.  

Beyond the kitchen, where they'd come in, was a big comfortable living room with a nice fireplace.  To his right was the hallway.  Rodney walked down it, passing a small library, a bathroom, and a computer room that was piled with papers and books.  Finally, he reached a large bedroom.  Carson stood by the dresser, emptying his pockets.  When that was done, he sat on the end of the bed and started taking off his shoes.  Rodney watched him for a distracted moment.    Heisenberg slipped by him and hopped up onto the bed to rub along Carson's side.  Rodney watched as Carson petted the cat for a few moments.

"You'd better stop staring at me.  It's your night to cook, and I'm not letting you weasel out of it," Carson said without looking up from the cat.

"Dinner.  Right.  I can do that," Rodney replied, backing out of the room.  

On his way to the kitchen he made a more thorough investigation of the other rooms.  The computer room was obviously a converted bedroom.  The library had bookshelves on every available wall.  He wandered around reading the titles.  Quite a few of the books he could recognize as his, but mixed in with them were a number of medical texts and some spy thrillers he'd drop dead before owning.  There were two tasteful, comfortable looking leather chairs and a large ottoman in the center of the room.  Across the back of one was a plaid blanket that Rodney had seen in the Atlantis infirmary before.  Rodney bit his lip and moved on to the living room.  It was far more spacious than he'd realized at first glance.  In the corner nestled between a front window and the fireplace, was a baby grand piano.  The lid was closed and the top of the instrument was covered with picture frames.  There were also frames across the fireplace mantel.  Worriedly, Rodney moved over to look at the pictures.  

A lot of them were of people that Rodney had never seen before.  Carson's smiling face from a few of the large group shots made him realize they must be members of the Beckett family.  In one photo, Carson was holding up a fat smiling baby.  The two were grinning at each other wildly.  Rodney could see matching dimples on both man and baby.  He looked away quickly.  Past the Beckett family memories were a few pictures that Rodney did recognize.  One was him standing by his stoic father in cap and gown with bright honor cords and stole, holding up his doctorate diploma.  Neither one of them looked particularly happy to be having their photo made.  There were other pictures too, one of his father, mother, sister and himself when he was very young on their first and last family vacation.  There was one of him smiling a gap-toothed smile and holding up a science fair trophy.  He'd been nine at the time.  He had taken the trophy to bed with him that night until his mother had come in and taken it away.  He distinctly remembered the smell of scotch on her breath when she'd kissed him goodnight.  Rodney moved away from the piano and over to the mantel.  The first picture that caught his attention was the largest.  It was set toward the back of a grouping of smaller frames.  He and Carson sat on a bench in the sun.  Carson was in the middle of laughing and his head was thrown back, his mouth smiling wide.  Rodney stared at his own face with a growing sense of dread.  In the picture, he was looking at Carson and grinning slightly, enjoying his friend's amusement.  It wasn't the smile that disturbed him.  No, it was the way that he was looking at Carson in the picture.

"I don't hear the microwave."

Rodney jumped and turned to see Carson leaning against the hallway wall watching him.  He had changed into a pair of track pants and a faded college T-shirt.  Rodney stared at him dumbly before sitting down on the closest object, which happened to be the piano bench.

"Rodney, are you sure you're all right?"

"No," he answered quietly and looked at the stone hearth.  "I live here with you?"

"If you think feigning amnesia is going to get you out of cooking dinner—" Carson stopped when Rodney looked up at him.

"Something is very wrong, Carson.  I'm not supposed to be here."

Carson looked away.  "Where are you supposed to be?"

"Atlantis."

Carson snorted and moved into the living room.  He walked over and reached up to put a hand on Rodney's shoulder, but paused mid-movement when Rodney flinched back.  A hurt look crossed his face and Rodney immediately felt the traces of guilt, but he quickly stomped them down.  Carson distanced himself by sitting down on the couch.

"Tell me."

"Months ago Colonel O'Neill and the other members of SG-1 discovered an Ancient outpost in Antarctica.   It was roughly where the second Earth Stargate had been discovered."

"Wait a moment.  Stargate?  Isn't that what you were going on about to the general?  I thought you were joking around."

"Since when do I ever joke around?  Never mind. It's not important.  Well, I mean the Stargate is important.  The scientific knowledge we've gained since the inception of the Stargate program has been astronomical.  We've hardly scratched the surface of—"

"Rodney..."

"Right, sorry.  The first Stargate was discovered in Egypt in the Twenties.  It's an alien device that allows travel between two points in space by means of a wormhole."  Rodney could see that none of what he was saying was making any sense to Carson.  With a sigh he started again.  "It's this big ring.  You dial another planet like a telephone, step through, and pow, you're there."

"You do realize how this sounds?"

"Carson."

"Sorry.  Go on...tell me about Atlantis."

"It starts in Antarctica.  That's where I met you."  Carson looked surprised and amused by this announcement.  Rodney ignored it and continued.  "You discovered the gene that allows someone to access Ancient technology.  The Ancients were an advanced race a long time ago.  They invented the Stargate system.  We found an address that corresponded to the Pegasus Galaxy.  We traveled there and found the lost city of the Ancients, Atlantis.  That's where the story comes from.  There was a large exploration team.  I'm head of the science division.  You're the chief medical officer.  Elizabeth Weir is head of the project.  Major Sheppard became the ranking military officer when Colonel Sumner was killed.  We've been there for several months now."

"Atlantis," Carson said skeptically.
 
"Yes, it's actually more of a space station. I mean, it used to be on Earth but they flew it to the Pegasus Galaxy for some reason we haven't been able to discover yet."

"It's a flying city."

"Okay, could you please stop saying it like I'm nuts.  That would be nice."

"Rodney..."

"Don't!  All right.  Just don't!  This is not how things are supposed to be.  I mean for God's sake, are we living together?"

Carson's face tightened up at Rodney's outburst.  He sat back on the couch and breathed quietly for a moment.  Finally, he spoke, "I thought you didn't have a problem with it.  I thought things were going well.  If you'd just tell me there was a problem instead of making up stories..."

Rodney jumped to his feet and began to pace in front of the fireplace. "There is a problem.  I don't remember any of this because this isn't how things happened!  Why aren't you listening to me?  Am I speaking Greek?  This is very unsettling to wake up and have everything be completely different and wrong."

"It's wrong now, is it?"

Rodney looked to the ceiling and let out an exasperated sigh.  "Don't get upset.  This isn't a relationship discussion. God, please, anything but that...  I need your help.  Something has changed the universe as I know it, okay?"

Carson stood and looked him in the eye for a long moment.  Rodney looked back and hoped like hell that he appeared earnest.  He didn't think he'd ever been earnest in his whole life.

"You really believe this?" Carson asked.

"It's the truth, Carson.  I fell asleep in my lab in Atlantis and I woke up here.  I need to know what happened.  I need to know why."

"You need to have an MRI."

"Carson," he warned.

A sigh was his only reply.  Carson moved past him and went into the kitchen.  Rodney flopped down on the couch and closed his eyes.  Maybe if he fell asleep again, he could go back to where he belonged.  Heisenberg jumped up onto his stomach and made herself at home.  He rubbed her from head-to-tail over and over until his mind was a blank state.  It was only when Carson cleared his throat that Rodney opened his eyes.  Two plates were on the small dining table at the kitchen end of the living room.

"You cooked," he said getting up and sitting down at the table.

"I'm hoping now you'll tell me that was all some elaborate ruse to get out of making dinner."

"No, sorry."

"You're sure it's the universe that has changed, and not you?"

Rodney rolled his eyes and asked, "How did we meet?"

"What, you don't remember?"

"I do remember.  I just remember a different you in Antarctica."

"Military science conference.  You were still working out of Area 51 then.  I'd just been brought on board as a genetic consultant to their viral program."

"Viral program?  You mean viral warfare?" Rodney asked, feeling his skin crawl.

"Not making them, Rodney.  Trying to counteract them.  They were worried some of the countermeasures to the new terrorist strains would save the patient but cause problems that could be passed down later on.  I can't believe you don't remember any of this."

"For all intents and purposes I'm not your Rodney, apparently.  Wait... I wonder if this is some sort of alternate reality."

"Alternate reality?  I think you've been watching too much of that Outer Limits you're so fond of."

"They exist actually.  There was this mirror that—" Rodney saw the look on Carson's face.  "Never mind.  What I can't understand is if this is an alternate reality, where's the other me?  Your me.  Unless we switched somehow.  Hm... If so, I'll bet my Carson is getting a rude awakening right now."

"Your Carson?"

"Yeah.  I told you we know each other.  Just not the same way as you two know each other."

"So you and your Carson aren't..."

"No, we're just friends."

They ate quietly for a while before Carson spoke up again.  "This isn't some strange way of breaking up with me, is it?"  He didn't look up from his plate.

Rodney finished off his last bite and pushed his own plate to the side.  He leaned forward and rested his head on the table.  Dealing with Kavanagh was better than this.  Rodney missed Atlantis.  At least there people would have believed him.  He heard Carson take his plate and move off into the kitchen.  Carson and him...together.  It was unfathomable.  There were obviously some very strange forces at work.  The alternate reality was a nice theory but there was no evidence to back it up.  What could have triggered a swap in realities?  He hadn't come in contact with any device that would justify such a radical change in universes.  The dream theory was out.  Things were far too elaborate and didn't have the abstractness of a dream state.  He still couldn't rule out something like what had happened on the planet of the mist people.  Something could be messing with his mind.  Now that was a chilling thought.  Rodney heard Carson move back into the room.  He sat up suddenly and stared at his friend closely.

"What?" Carson asked.

"Just wondering if you're an alien agent trying to mess with my brain."

"I wouldn't go into your brain if you paid me.  I hate to break it to you, Rodney, but the world doesn't revolve around you."

With that, Carson headed down the hallway to bed.  Rodney sat at the table for a moment before curling up on the couch with Heisenberg.  It seemed a fitting way to end the day because uncertainty was all he had.

---

Don't wait; the time will never be "just right."  Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.
–Napoleon Hill


The next morning, Rodney was woken by a pillow to the face.  Carson stood over him looking unhappy and like he hadn't slept well.  A cup of coffee was shoved into his hand.  Rodney drank it and went back into the bedroom to get ready for work.  After all, he was more likely to figure out what was going on from the SGC than from this strange version of home.  Carson must have been an early riser because he pretty much stayed out of Rodney's way.  The only sign of the other man was the double items on the sink in the master bathroom attached to the bedroom.  Rodney stared at the two toothbrushes bent together in the cup behind the faucet.  They way they leaned on each other was kind of obscene.  Rodney got ready in record time.  When he emerged, he found Carson sitting at the dining table reading the paper.

"Work?" Rodney asked.

"Eat something first," Carson said without looking up, "and don't forget to feed your cat."

"Right." He got two paces into the kitchen before he stopped and turned. "Where do we keep the cat food?"

That did cause Carson to look up from his paper.  With a cocked eyebrow he looked over at Rodney, who just shrugged.  "Under the sink."

"Right.  Sink."  Rodney fed Heisenberg and then made a large bowl of cereal for himself.  He joined Carson at the table and proceeded to pick out the blue moons and eat them first.  He was just starting on the shooting stars when he realized he was being watched.  "What?"

"If you're not my Rodney, why are you eating your cereal the same way he does?  Moons first, then stars, then you eat the rest of the cereal normally."

"Well, alternate realities can be very similar.  I haven't changed," he looked at Carson and blushed a bit, "much.  It's the world that's different.  Besides I've always eaten Lucky Charms like this.  I have to eat the moons and stars first because—"

"You're an astrophysicist and it's only right," Carson finished for him.

Rodney raised and eyebrow himself and went back to eating.  When he was done, he rinsed out his bowl.  Carson was waiting at the door with his jacket.  Rodney snatched a set of keys hanging beside the door and waved them happily.  Carson rolled his eyes, but got in the BMW.  Rodney enjoyed the ride back to the mountain although he never broke the speed limit.  That sort of stupidity could get you killed.  He had to ask Carson where his parking spot was which seemed to irritate the other man.  Rodney only shrugged.  He followed Carson through the check points to the elevator and twenty-seven floors down.  Rodney resolved himself and headed to Hammond's office with a moody-looking Carson in tow.

Rodney knocked on the door and opened it after a bellow.  He paused in the doorway when he saw there was someone else in the office with Hammond.  The other man rose to his feet.  He was tall and handsome in his uniform with all the bars and stripes and whatever.

"Ah, Doctor McKay, just the man I wanted to see.  Come in," Hammond said getting to his feet as well.  "Doctor Beckett, if you could wait outside for a few moments."

Carson nodded and closed the door behind him.  Rodney looked back and forth between the two soldiers in confusion.  The other man held his hand out to shake.

"Doctor, I've heard a lot about you."

Rodney shook his hand and then looked over at Hammond for clarification.

"This is Major Paul Davis from the Pentagon.  He's brought something with him that they'd like you to take a look at."

"We've heard some good things about your project, Doctor," Davis added with a smile.  Rodney didn't like the little mustache.  It didn't suit the man's baby face.

"Great.  Maybe you could tell me about it," Rodney said with a small frown.  The other two chuckled softly as if he'd been joking.

"I'd like you to get started right away.  If you would come with me, Doctor?"

"There's something I really need to speak to the general about..."

Hammond smiled and said, "It'll wait, son.  The Pentagon considers this high priority."

Before Rodney could disagree, he was swept out of the office, through the briefing room and down the stairs to the elevator on the twenty-eighth floor.  On the way up to the nineteenth floor where the science labs were located, Rodney realized that Davis had not only deftly maneuvered him where he wanted, but he'd bypassed Carson as well.  He had to grudgingly respect the guy. He must have spent a lot of time in Washington.  

The hallway had a lot more soldiers milling around in it than it had the night before.  Several doors down from the lab that he sort of randomly recognized as his stood a pair of doors.   Two fully-armed SFs stood on either side of them.

"What do you have in here?" Rodney wondered aloud as Davis motioned to the Airmen to open the doors.

"We were hoping you could tell us."

The doors flung open to reveal a very familiar oblong shape.  Rodney rushed forward and shoved some flunky in a lab coat out of the way.

"I'll be damned.  Where'd you get a Puddle Jumper?" Rodney asked as he quickly walked around the ship to head up the ramp at the rear.

"A what?" Davis asked, trying to keep up.

Rodney ignored him, his attention drawn to a strange device in the middle of the cargo bay.  "What's this?"

"We have no idea.  Doctor, you act as if you've seen one of these..."

"Puddle Jumper."

"Puddle Jumpers before.  Frankly, we've never seen anything like it."

"Of course you wouldn't. It's from Atlantis.  Let me guess, you found it in Antarctica, right?"

"No.  Actually, it was found in Giza by a team of archaeologists from the University of Chicago."

"Giza?  What the hell would a Puddle Jumper be doing in Giza?  Wait.  Did you find the Stargate?"

"Stargate?  Doctor, what is going on?"

Rodney walked around the large raised object that took up the center section of the cargo bay.  It was obviously Ancient design, but it didn't fit in with the Jumper.  Finally, he looked back at Davis.

"Was this all you found in Giza?"

"No, there were a few other objects.  Something else interesting—we found what has been identified as a 5,000-year-old canopic jar.  Inside is what we believe to be the remains of a video camera."

"A video camera?  What was on it?"

"Unfortunately, we'll never know.  The jar had been damaged and without the vacuum..."

"The camera is useless?"

"I'm surprised they even figured out that's what it was."

Rodney sat down on the cargo bench and stared at the device for a few moments.  He could see Davis fidgeting impatiently out of the corner of his eye.  Everything was starting to click together.  The pieces were starting to make sense.

"It's a time machine."

"Excuse me?" Davis asked.

"That Ancient that Elizabeth met.  He came to Earth with the others.  He rebuilt his time machine.  Someone must have used it.  That explains the video camera.  Oh thank God!  I'm not crazy!"  Rodney said, flopping back on the bench in relief.

Davis looked nervous.  "Doctor?"

"Someone has changed time.  This is an alternate timeline, and for some reason I'm the only one who knows it.  I've got to get the systems up and running on this thing and get a look at it."

Rodney jumped up and moved into the cockpit.  Davis followed behind him and watched him sit at the controls.  Rodney closed his eyes and thought 'on,' but nothing happened.

"We haven't been able to get it to work," Davis said, a little too smugly for Rodney's taste.

"That's because you have to have the gene.  And since time has changed I never got the gene therapy, which is why I'm sitting here looking like a moron.  Davis, go get Doctor Beckett."

"Beckett doesn't have clearance."

"Well then give it to him, because what Carson does have is the gene that will make this ship work," Rodney snapped.

"How do you—"

"Excuse me!  What is your IQ?  Just do it!"

Davis gave him a murderous look but turned and exited the ship.  Rodney jumped up and headed back into the cargo bay.  He opened up the control panel on the opposite side of the ship.  The crystals were still the same.  He stared at them dumbly for a second before yelling out the back.

"Can someone bring me a portable diagnostic?"  After a second, he added, "And some coffee?  Today, maybe?"

He received his diagnostic computer and his coffee in due course.  Being in charge had its privileges.  He was half way through the first subroutine when Davis finally trouped in with a wide-eyed Carson.

"Rodney, what the bloody hell is this?"

"Remember Atlantis?  The thing you were sure didn't exist and made you say I needed a MRI because I was crazy?  Well, this is from there, not that I'm gloating or anything.  I need your help."

Davis watched them with a calculating look as Carson answered, "My help?  Are you not feeling well?"

"Not that kind of help," Rodney said and pulled him into the cockpit, shoving him in the pilot's seat.  "Okay, I need you to touch the controls and think 'on.'"

"What?  Rodney...I don't think this is such a good idea.  I mean," Carson leaned forward and whispered, "this looks like a space ship."

"That's because it is a space ship, and I'm pretty sure Major Davis knows this, after all, he's the one that brought it here, so you don't have to whisper."

Carson eyed the panel like it was going to bite him.  "But why do you want me to do it?  I break things like this!"

"Carson.  Remember how I told you last night that you discovered the gene that allows access to Ancient technology?"

"Vaguely.  A lot of what you said made no sense, which is usually what talking to you is like, but generally it doesn't involve flying cities."

Rodney shot him a look and replied, "Well, the reason you discovered the gene was because you have it."

"What?" Carson yelped, looking even more upset.

"You have the Ancient gene and this ship will only respond to someone with the Ancient gene.  So just shut up and think 'on' already."

Carson and Davis were both looking at him skeptically, but finally Carson turned and grabbed the flight sticks.  With a rather trepidatious expression, he closed his eyes.  Nothing happened.  Rodney waited.  Nothing happened.

"Okay, you're not even trying," Rodney snapped.

"I am too!  Hush!" Carson snapped back and his face scrunched up a bit in concentration.  There was a low hum and the panel lights flicked before flashing on permanently.

Rodney shot a smug look back at a surprised Davis.  Carson opened his eyes with a wide smile.

"I did it! I could feel it.  That's really amazing."

"Yeah it'll be even more amazing if we get John down here to light this sucker up."

"John?  Who's John?" Carson said with a touch of something dark in his voice that spun Rodney around to face him.

"John Sheppard, Major John Sheppard—he has the gene too.  He went with us to Atlantis."  Rodney looked back at a bewildered looking Davis.  "Are getting this?  John Sheppard, two p's.  He was a major flying helicopters out of McMurdo before Atlantis, but who knows what he's doing in this reality."

"Doctor, I'm not sure I know what to think about all this.  Perhaps if you explain..."

"All right, but we'd better do it with Hammond 'cause I'm not going through all this twice.  Go ahead and set up the meeting, and find out where Sheppard is.  I'm going to keep going through the ship's systems and see if I get anywhere."  He turned and pointed at Carson.  "You stay there, and try not to think of any specific time period.  I don't want this thing firing up."

"What?" Carson asked nervously.

"Never mind."

---

The only reason for time is so everything doesn't happen at once.
–Albert Einstein


Rodney and Carson took seats at the briefing table.  Hammond was in his office on the phone.  Major Davis was nowhere in sight.  Rodney tapped his fingers on the table until Carson laid a hand over his and shot him a look.  Rodney looked toward Hammond's office window worriedly before looking back at Carson.  The other man frowned slightly and pulled his hand away.  Rodney noticed that his posture slumped a bit.  He wanted to say something, but Hammond came out of his office.  Rodney glanced away quickly.  The General sat down.  As he nodded his bald head at the two of them, Major Davis came in and took a seat.

"Doctor," Hammond said, "I believe some explanation is in order."

Rodney took a deep breath.  "That ship you have upstairs is a time machine."  He waited the allotted blinking time before continuing.  "Someone used it and changed time as I know it.  Time is not a static thing.  The theory of alternate realities states that at every choice or juncture in our lives reality splits to reflect both choices, creating two different realities.  This happens every day, so there are infinite possibilities.  If someone were to go back in time and change a certain event, a new reality would be created.  Now normally, we would be completely unaware of these other realities because they run parallel to our own.  But something is different about this one.  I believe someone has gone back and changed time because this is not my reality."

"Not your reality?" Davis asked.

"Yesterday, I fell asleep in a lab in a completely different reality.  My reality.  I woke up in the lab here."

Hammond looked like someone had smacked him with a trout.  "Doctor..."

"I know how this sounds, trust me.  If I hadn't seen it before with my own eyes, I probably wouldn't believe it either."

"What do you mean 'seen it before?'" Carson asked.

"In my reality, we've been traveling to other worlds through a device called the Stargate for some time.  We recently found a way to go to another galaxy, where we found the lost city of Atlantis.  When we were there, we discovered an alternate version of our mission commander, Doctor Elizabeth Weir, already in the city.  The Ancient who made the time ship we have upstairs made one before on Atlantis.  Elizabeth had contact with it and in doing so made it possible for us to stay in the city.  It's all very convoluted, but I have seen time travel in action."

Now the other two were looking as if someone had smacked them with trout.  Rodney rubbed his temples for a moment before pressing on.

"Listen, believe me, don't believe me, I don't care.  But I did know about the ship and I did know Carson could work it.  Now if you'd just get Sheppard here, I can probably fix all of this."

Major Davis and General Hammond exchanged a look before Davis opened the folder in front of him.  With a frown he looked back at Rodney.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, Doctor.  Major John Sheppard was killed in action in Afghanistan."

Rodney sat back in the plush leather chair, but he couldn’t feel it.  Suddenly, it was hard to draw breath.  Carson's hand touched his arm, and when he looked over, Carson's face softened.

"Gentlemen, I believe this has been a bit of a shock for him.  Could we have a few moments?" Carson asked.  Davis slid the folder across the table.  Rodney saw the two leave from the corner of his eye.  The room was quiet.  He closed his eyes and breathed.

Carson quietly flipped through the contents of the folder, but his hand never left Rodney's arm.  It was a few moments before he finally spoke.  "This John meant a lot to you."

Rodney looked up in surprise at the tone of Carson's voice.  There was the usual compassion, but underneath it was a tinge of hurt.  Rodney watched him closely.  Never once in his life had he ever been the object of jealousy.  Oh sure, there might have been people jealous of his intelligence, but no one had been jealous over him.

"He was my friend," and only as Rodney said it did he realize it was true.  "He picked me for his team.  I never get picked for things.  He showed me how to use a gun, and I wasn't bad at it.  He taught me how to fly, even when he wanted to rip the controls out of my hands.  Oh God, Carson, what if this is my fault?  He's dead because of something I did, some device I should have left alone or..."

"Rodney, you had nothing to do with this.  He died during a medical evacuation.  He was trying to save people."

"No!  He didn't!  It's only in this world.  I have to fix this, Carson.  I have to make it right."

"How are you going to save him?  He died three years ago!"

"We have a time machine.  Somebody screwed things up, which means somebody can fix it."

Carson sat back in his chair with a weary look on his face.  "Rodney, how are you going to do that?  You don't even know how the thing works!"

"No, but I bet I know someone who can help me figure it out."

---

Time makes more converts than reason.
–Thomas Paine


Rodney followed Major Davis and the two officers with him.  The building was rather nondistinct.  Rodney tried not to sneer.  It was an office building, not a laboratory.  Again he pondered over this reality and its weirdness.  Davis shot him a look as they stepped inside.  He had promised to stay in the background if he was allowed to come along, but as soon as Davis opened the door and Rodney got a look at her, he brushed past the two Air Force officials, stepped around Davis, and charged into the room.

"Oh my God!  What have they done to you?" Rodney yelped.  Doctor Samantha Carter flinched back from him.  Her boss, some peon by the looks of him, gave Rodney the stink eye.

"What's the meaning of this?" the peon asked.

"I'm Major Davis, United States Air Force."

"Dr. Hirschfield," the man answered.

Rodney ignored their conversation and proceeded to circle Carter in utter confusion.  She gave him a meek, worried expression that Colonel Carter would never have thought of using.  Rodney reached up and poked her shoulder just to prove she was real and that he hadn't just lost his mind.  Carter recoiled and backed away from him.  She turned her head to the other two's conversation when her name was brought up.

"Me?"

"Of course you!  Like I'd want anything to do with this moron.  Come on," Rodney said, giving her boss a disgusted look.  As the other man started some indignant spluttering, Rodney took Carter's hand, and pulled her out of the office and down the hall.

"My purse!" she yelped.

He paused long enough to wave back at one of the Air Force flunkies.  Rodney dragged her out of the building and down to the limo.  When she was tucked up beside him, he turned to her.

"Fact checking?  Are you serious?"

"What?"

"Do you have any idea what a complete waste that is?  I can barely grasp it.  It's just...just...there are no words!"

"Am I getting fired?" Sam asked with a horrified expression.

"No, you're quitting.  Right now.  And you're coming to work for me," Rodney snapped and dropped his head against the back of the seat.  He closed his eyes and tried to calm down.

"Oh..." Carter said quietly.  "Who are you?"

"Rodney...Doctor Rodney McKay."

They were interrupted as Davis climbed in.  The car shook as the two Air Force officers climbed in the front and closed their doors hard.  The smoky partition slid down and the man in the passenger seat held out a purse.  Carter leaned forward and took it.  As she was thanking the man, the partition slid back up.  Rodney looked across at Davis who was giving him a sour look.

"What?  My way was quicker," Rodney said.

They pulled out of the office complex and after a few minutes, pulled up in front of a small house.  There were sagging flower beds and an overgrown boxwood in the front yard.  Davis climbed out and held the door open for Carter.  Rodney got out on the other side.

"Is this your house?" he asked.

"Yes," Carter answered and looked at Davis.

"We'd like you to pack a bag for a few nights.  You're needed in Colorado, ma'am."

Rodney envied the major's smooth manner but he came around the car to take Sam's elbow himself.  He walked her to the door like a gentleman.  Somehow he didn't think Davis was impressed.  He waited while Carter pulled her mail out of the box by the door and used her keys.  The inside of the house was girly if plain.  Lace doilies were on the tables with knickknacks placed just so.  A couple of astrophysics journals were scattered across the coffee table, but that was the only sign of the brilliant woman Rodney knew was inside the meek little mouse in front of him.  She stuttered some explanations before shuffling off towards the back of the house to pack.  Rodney took the opportunity to snoop.

The mail she'd thrown on the hall table was rather unexciting.  There were a couple of catalogues and some bills, but nothing really interesting.  Rodney flipped through one of the catalogues to the underwear section.  He sighed at the pathetic selection.  Well, that ruined the whole fantasy of sexy undies beneath the frumpy librarian exterior.  He dropped the catalogue and went into the living room.  He picked up one of the science journals and was surprised by the notations in the margins.

"There's my girl," he said with a grin.

"What?" Carter called from the back.

"You don't agree with Arp?"

Carter came back into the room clutching a small overnight bag.  He was surprised at how quickly and efficiently she'd managed that.  Then again, she was an Air Force brat, so perhaps her father had drilled it into her head at a young age.

"Oh, that.  It's nothing, I was just...  It's nothing," she said, pulling the journal from his hand.

"Well, if you say so, but seeing as how you're right..."

She blinked at him.  Rodney took pity on her and motioned to the door.  She jumped at that and quickly rounded up a few odds and ends plus her keys.

As they stepped outside, she asked, "The major said Colorado.  What's in Colorado?"

"As the military is so fond of saying, 'I'm not at liberty to say.'  But be assured, you're going to love it."  He tried not to let it get to him when she didn't look too convinced.  "We do have one more stopover first."

If the office building where he'd picked up Sam was boring, the drab cinderblock school they arrived at later that afternoon was just pathetic.  Rodney was banished the back of the car with Carter while Davis retrieved Dr. Jackson.  Rodney hadn't even worried about Jackson until the General had mentioned the stone slab that no one had deciphered.  The subject had been brought up when Rodney mentioned the whereabouts of the Stargate.  He was surprised to learn that no Stargate had ever been found there.  Some quick research came up with photos of the slab.  The writings weren't in Goa'uld that he could tell, not that he was an expert by any means, but they were odd.  Figuring it could be another clue like the Time Jumper, Rodney insisted that they pick up Jackson as well.  After all, it couldn't hurt.

Davis returned with Jackson in due course.  Rodney tried not to snort at the sweater-vest combo.  From his few experiences at the SGC, he knew that Jackson was an object of lust for most of the female members of the staff.  Looking at this pathetic copy, he wondered how the guy ever got laid.  He looked back and forth between the two as they gave each other the once over.

"Doctor Samantha Carter, this is Doctor Daniel Jackson," he said by way of introduction.

"And you are?" Jackson asked prissily.

"I'm Doctor Rodney McKay."

"A doctor of?"

"Astrophysics, like Doctor Carter here."

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

Rodney smirked at him.  "No."

Jackson frowned and sat back in his seat beside Major Davis.  They did the same routine as they had with Carter, taking him home and making him pack.  Rodney decided to stay in the car with Carter again.  He was a bit curious about Jackson's home, but figured it was full of old boring crap.  Davis seemed happy enough to stick to the guy like glue, so he let him.  Though Rodney did wonder if it was just an attempt to get away.

Three hours later they were landing in Colorado.  Rodney quite enjoyed the looks on the two scientists' faces when they got a load of Cheyenne Mountain.  Jackson looked flustered through all the security checkpoints.  Rodney let Davis take them on to the briefing room for a quick chat with Hammond and to sign whatever they needed to sign.  The Time Jumper was calling to him.  Hopefully, with Sam's help trying to figure out the systems would be easier.  Deep down, Rodney wished that he could do it all on his own, but the truth was that since going to Atlantis, he'd come to appreciate having people to back him up.  He was becoming a teamwork kind of guy.  It was disgusting really.  Mentally, he began to blame Sheppard, but paused.  It felt wrong to chastise the man in his head now.  Thinking about the major just pressed him harder to make things right.

He was surprised when he stepped into the lab to find Carson staring at the Jumper.  The man's expression was thoughtful and his eyes seemed to be looking at a distance.

"Carson?" Rodney said quietly when his presence wasn't immediately acknowledged.

"You're back?"  Carson replied, not looking away from the Jumper.

"Yeah.  I brought help."

"That's good."

"You don't sound so delighted," Rodney said ruefully.

With that, Carson turned his blue eyes on Rodney.  There was a lot going on in them.   "Am I supposed to be happy for all of this?"

"But we're going to fix things!"

"Rodney, did you ever once stop to think that I was perfectly happy with the way things were?"

Rodney gaped at him.  Carson didn't wait for a reply.  He turned to head back out the doors, but they opened before he reached them.  Hammond marched in with Carter and Jackson in tow.  Their eyes bugged at the sight of the Jumper.  Hammond, not noticing that Carson was upset, started introductions.

"Doctor Beckett, this is Doctor Samantha Carter and Doctor Daniel Jackson.  McKay has brought them onboard the project."

"Are you an astrophysicist as well?" Carter asked holding out her hand.

Carson took the hand, but his usual charm was flat.  "No, I'm afraid I'm the plain old medical kind of doctor, and I'm also very busy.  If you'll excuse me?"

Rodney watched his friend brush past the newcomers, and he caught the dark look that Carson shot the back of Carter's head as he disappeared out the doors.  Rodney wanted to rush after the man and start demanding answers as he would have any time before, but this whole relationship slant had muddled the natural order of things.  He didn't know how to talk to Carson anymore.  Everything seemed to have undercurrents that he couldn't grasp.  Instead, he focused on the two people he could deal with.

Hammond said, "I'll leave the explanations up to you, Doctor.  If you'll both excuse me as well."

Rodney looked at the gaping scientists.  With a sigh, he began.  "This is primarily a spaceship.  It's of alien origin.  That is not the most interesting part, though."  He led them around and into the cargo bay.  "This device is a time machine."

Carter ran her hand along the device.  "Is this all for real?"

"Yes.  Told you that you'd love it.  You should have listened."

"I don't understand.  Why are you showing us this?  Doctor Carter, maybe, I can understand of being some use, but what about me?" Jackson asked.

"Have a seat," Rodney said, pointing to the bench.  "Someone has used this machine before.  They've changed time.  I'm going to assume it was you."

"Us?" Carter gasped.

"Yes.  In the original timeline before things were changed, both of you were members of a team of galactic explorers called SG-1."

"You must be joking," Jackson said.

"No, I'm not.  The reason you're here, Dr. Jackson, is because you helped decipher the symbols on an alien device called a Stargate that allows interplanetary travel by means of a wormhole.  That's how you became a member of the team.  Carter was on it for her scientific expertise."

Carter gasped again. "Wait.  A wormhole?  Really?"

"Yes.  As matter of fact, I'm an expert in wormhole physics, as were you before time was changed and you became the you..." he paused, trying to make some sense of what he was saying, "you are now."

Jackson's eyebrows dropped under the rims of his glasses, and he asked, "If time was changed, and we were as well, how is it that you know any of this?"

"That's the interesting thing.  I remember everything the way it was.  In a sense, I've jumped from the original timeline to this one.  I'm not sure why.  I can't explain it myself, but..."

"So you brought us here, why, exactly?" Carter asked.

"Well, we need to fix it."

"The ship?"

"No, time."

---

We all have our time machines.  Some take us back, they're called memories.  Some take us forward, they're called dreams.  
–Jeremy Irons


Rodney didn't get home until late, and the house was already dark.  He shuffled into the kitchen and tried not to trip over the cat.  When he flipped on the light, he found a note on the fridge.  Carson had left him a plate warming in the oven.  Rodney traced over the messy scrawl with his finger.  It was just a small gesture, but it meant a lot, especially considering he didn't deserve it.  Rodney took the plate out, hissing at the heat and sucking on his fingers once it was on the table.  He ate in the dark with only the light from the kitchen coming through the door.  Rodney made sure to wash the dish when he was done.  He flipped off the kitchen light and stood staring at the dark shape that was the couch.  With a sigh, he passed by it and headed down the hall toward the bedroom.  The right side of the bed was just a lump of blankets.  Rodney knew that he should really talk to Carson, but a glance at the clock showed him again how late it was.  He didn't want to deprive the man of sleep after everything else.  Rodney sat on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes before curling up on the left side on top of the covers, still in his clothes.  He was just starting to drift off when the other side of the bed shifted.

"Did you eat?" Carson asked.

"Yes, thank you," Rodney answered without opening his eyes.  "Carson?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry."  He didn't receive an answer, and in a bit he spoke again.  "Why me?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not..."

"Gay?" Carson answered testily.

"Well...I don't...  I've never thought about..." Rodney sighed and tried again.  "What I was asking is why you'd be interested in me."

He felt movement on the bed and rolled over to look at Carson.  Just a pale glow from the streetlights outside illuminated the room, making the other man's face a mystery of shadows.  Rodney couldn't begin to guess what kind of expression was looking back at him.

"Sometimes I wonder myself," Carson replied after a few moments.  "Some things are just meant to be, Rodney."

He didn't know how to respond to that.  After a while, it was obvious that Carson had drifted to sleep.  Rodney rolled back over and stared past the edge of the bed.  It took him much longer to sleep himself.

Rodney woke to a warm hand splayed across his chest.  It took him a few addled minutes to realize that it wasn't his own.  He had caffeine issues that early in the morning.  Sometime in the night, Carson had kicked off the covers and moved up against him.  Rodney could never remember a time when he'd been spooned before.  Actually, thinking about it, he'd not really done that much spooning himself.  He recoiled from the thought quickly.  It was really no time to be reviewing your pathetic love life when you had a man plastered to your back.  Rodney lifted the hand gently and tried to slip off the bed, but Carson was having none of it.  The doctor's hand tightened in his and he slid forward to connect with Rodney again.  This put Rodney at the very edge of the bed.  He considered his options.  He could elbow the other man and make a run for it.  He could try the sliding thing again and end up on the floor, or he could just roll over a bit and try to wake up Carson like a rational adult.  Rodney elbowed the other man and ran for the bathroom like a scared rabbit.

Rodney hurried through his regular morning rituals in the bathroom and cut on the shower as soon as possible to avoid any conversations.  He ducked his head under the warm spray and tried not to think about how comfortable he'd been since Carson had drug him home that first night.  Getting comfortable in this situation was not an option.  Firstly, he didn't want to give this Carson the wrong idea, and secondly, it would just make things awkward with his Carson when he got back to the right reality.  Having made up his mind and thoroughly chastised himself, Rodney turned off the water, pulled back the shower curtain, and screamed like a woman.

"Oh for God's sake, man.  It's not like I don't know what it looks like," Carson snorted and went back to brushing his teeth.

"Right.  Right.  Do you have to do that now?" Rodney asked.  He received a dark look in response.  "Right.  Okay."  Rodney reached over for a towel and then hid back behind the shower curtain to dry off.  He ignored the huff of laughter from the other end of the bathroom.

They reached a stalemate when Carson wasn't leaving and Rodney couldn't wait any longer in the shower.  He was starting to get chilled standing there in just a wet towel.  So with as much aplomb as he could muster, Rodney pulled the curtain aside and stepped out of the tub.  He walked casually past Carson, who was leaning back against the sink with his arms crossed.  The big smirk on the bastard's face wasn't making Rodney feel any better.  He shuffled over to the dresser and pulled on a pair of boxers before Carson could come out of the bathroom.  He toweled off his hair and headed for the closet.  Rodney stood staring at the clothes blankly before Carson's arm reached past him and pulled out a dark blue T-shirt.  Rodney smiled as he read the navy blue letters spelling 'Mr. Fantastic' across the front.  Carson then reached in and pulled out a dark pair of jeans to go with the shirt.

"You're dressing me?  God, you are so gay," Rodney said with a little smirk.

"At least you'll match for once in your life," Carson quipped and sat down on the bed to pull on his shoes.  He rubbed his ribs a bit and shot Rodney a dirty look.

For his part, Rodney tried to look innocent.  It apparently wasn’t working.  It had never worked on his mom either when he was a kid.  With a sigh, he dressed quickly and then sat down next to Carson to pull on a pair of dark brown oxfords.  When they were both done fiddling with laces they sat beside each other staring across the bedroom at their reflections in the dresser mirror.

"Breakfast?" he finally suggested.

"We actually have time to cook since you decided to get up early," Carson said.  Rodney caught yet another dirty look being shot at him from the mirror.

Rodney stood quickly and said, "The early bird...brings home the bacon."  He hustled out into the hall and tried not to enjoy the eye roll he'd received for his effort.  The kitchen was a little more familiar now that he'd spent some time in the house.  Rodney went through the refrigerator and cabinets.  He could feel Carson staring at him as he searched for a frying pan and began to assemble a fancy omelet.  It couldn't hurt to impress the guy after bruising his ribs.

"You know how to cook," Carson whispered.

"Of course I know how to cook.  My mother made me take classes the summer before I went off to college.  She was worried I'd starve to death.  It gave her something to obsess about for a few months before she never had to really speak to me again," Rodney said.  When he looked over at Carson he paused.  "What?"

"You quit the class the first hour when you watched the instructor debone a chicken by hand.  That's what you told me when I complained about you microwaving every meal."

Rodney stepped forward to touch his shoulder.  Carson looked a little shell-shocked before his eyes turned sad.

"You aren't Rodney, are you?  All this time travel hoodoo.  I thought it wasn't real...that everything would be fine after a while."

"I'm sorry, Carson.  I don't know what to say."

"What happens to this world once you change everything?"

"I don't know," he answered, looking away.

"You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?"

"This reality could continue on separately, but more than likely, it'll cease to exist.  A new reality might replace it, or if I do things right, my reality will override it.  I mean, we're talking about changing time, Carson.  It's not like Rand McNally is making maps for this sort of thing."

Carson stepped away from him and moved to the door.  He pulled the keys to the Volvo off the hook before looking back.  "I'm sorry, Rodney.  I'm not very hungry.  I'll see you at the mountain."

Rodney watched him disappear out the door.  He stood looking around a stranger's kitchen, a stranger with his face.  It started to feel creepy, so he quickly put the omelet makings away and hustled out to his own car.  As usual, whenever something was too much for him to deal with, he threw himself into his work.  Only this time, the work was more important than it ever had been before.

---

Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.
--Douglas Adams


"Doctor McKay!" the cheerful voice rang out through the cold, gray halls.  Rodney paused and took a big gulp of the large espresso he'd bought on the way to work.

"Jackson, you're awfully cheery this morning."

"It's morning?  Oh, I haven't slept yet.  That tablet you showed me is fascinating.  It's almost as if the person who chiseled it knew my research.  Is that espresso?"

"Yes it is, and I'm not surprised seeing as how you probably wrote the damn thing yourself, or at least the original you did."

"Do you really think so?" Jackson glanced at the cup again.  "Did you get that around here?"

Rodney pulled the cup closer and took a step back.  "No."

"No, you don't think so, or no you didn't get that here."

"No, I didn't get it here.  Yes, I really think so.  Is there anything else on that rock?"  Rodney asked, continuing on towards his lab.  Jackson hurried to keep up.

"Well, it mentions an uprising that I believe happened in 2995 B.C. The ancient Egyptians rebelled against the sun god Ra—or at least someone who they believed to be an impostor. Now apparently, whoever this impostor was, he left in a great flying ship, and, uh, took the Stargate thing that you mentioned with him."

Rodney stopped short.  "Of course!  No Stargate in Egypt, so it's never found, so everything is different."

"Yes, but the really neat thing is there's another one," Jackson said, looking like a smug grad student just waiting to get petted.

"I know.  It's in Antarctica."

Jackson's jaw dropped and he spluttered, "You knew?"

"Yes, of course I knew," Rodney replied, pushing his way through the double doors into the lab.  The internal lights were on in the Time Jumper.  He could see Carter checking the control panel crystals through the front screen.  The two of them quickly joined her.  "Good morning, Doctor."

"Oh, hello.  Hi, Daniel, have you slept yet?"

"No," Jackson said with irritation.  "He already knew where the second Stargate was!"

Carter turned from the console.  "Really?"

"Yes, I'm a genius.  Can we talk about the ship now?"

"Well, I've gone over those pathways you showed me.  I think the time machine is directly controlled from the user's mind the same way the shield and weapons are."

"Great, so we need to get Carson down here—"

Carter interrupted, much to his surprise.  "I was thinking."

He stared at her for a few moments when she didn't continue.  "Yes, care to share with the rest of the class?"

"We're inside a mountain."

"Yes," Rodney said, waving his hand to prompt her on.

"We can't use the time machine in here.  This base wasn't here 5,000 years ago.  We'd show up in the middle of solid rock."

Rodney blinked and replied, "Of course.  That’s...obvious.  We need to fly the ship into the atmosphere to use the time machine."

"That's just it.  Doctor Beckett isn't a pilot."

"We can transport it to the surface.  Then it'll just be a matter of moving it straight up."  Rodney demonstrated with his hand.

Jackson frowned.  "I don't think he'd want to do that."

"What do you mean?" Rodney snapped.

"I talked to him when he came in this morning.  He said we'd have to find someone else to 'make the lights blink' from now on.  He doesn't want anything more to do with the Jumper."

Rodney gaped at them.  He shoved the espresso into Jackson's all-too willing hands and stomped out of the ship.  He quickly took the elevator down to Level 21, only to be stopped at the med lab doors.  Apparently, Carson was in the middle of some sort of viral testing in the clean room and couldn't be disturbed.  The whole thing smacked of convenience to Rodney, but he went back to his office.  He'd be more likely to win Carson back over if he was calmer, or at least that was the plan.  The problem was as time passed, Rodney just got angrier.  He didn't see Carson until lunch.

Rodney dropped the tray on the table with a smack.  Carson winced but continued focusing on his beef stroganoff.  Several of the personnel around them looked up at the noise, but quickly glanced away.  Rodney sat down and fiddled with his napkin.  He poked at his chicken fiercely.

"So how are the viral studies?" he asked and took a bite.

Carson mumbled, "Fine.  Good."

"That's great.  Now that that's out of the way, maybe you could tell me why you're shutting my whole program down?" he hissed.  More people looked at them but a quick stare from him sent their eyes skittering away.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rodney."

"Oh, no, of course you don't.  Jackson told me you won't help us anymore.  Considering the technology won't work without someone who has the gene, you might as well have just told us to pack up and go home."

"I don't agree with what you are doing."

"No, you don't agree with the outcome of what I'm doing."

Carson did look up at that and his blue eyes were blazing.  "What do you expect?"

"You're not the only person with the gene, Carson.  I’m going to do this."  Rodney started to get up and leave, but Carson's hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist.

"Wait."

Rodney sat back down.  "I'm listening."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You know why."

"Is it to get John back?"

Rodney sat back in surprise.  "Yes, but it's not just that.  You have no idea the things we've learned.  We're not alone in the galaxy, hell, the universe!  This isn't right."

"And you're going to make it right?"

"I don't belong here, Carson.  I just want to go home.  Yes, home may be in another galaxy facing almost certain death, but it's where I need to be."

"I'm asking you not to do this.  How do you know that you won't make things worse?" Carson replied, and the extra emotion in his voice made the burr of his accent thicker.

"Carson, I know what you're afraid of, but you don't even realize you've already lost it.  I can't be him."

Carson looked stricken at that statement before his face hardened.  "And I can't help you. I’m sorry."

Rodney left his tray and moved quickly out into the hall.  When he was finally in the elevator, away from prying eyes, he dropped his head back against the wall.  Rodney was sure he was right, but he couldn't help feeling like crap.  Something had changed and he just couldn't put his finger on it.  The elevator climbed despite his existential crisis.  The doors opened, and he stared at the airman waiting to get on.

"What?" Rodney barked at the man before marching down the hall.  Carter and Jackson were discussing something when he stepped in the cargo bay.  "You," he pointed at Jackson, "go get some sleep.  Carter, you and I are going to get this thing prepped for take-off."

"We're going to use the ship?" Jackson asked.

"Yes, but first thing tomorrow we're going on a little field trip, kids.  If Carson won't fly this thing, we're going to have to find someone else who can."

---

The bad news is time flies.  The good news is you're the pilot.
--Michael Althsuler


The next morning, Rodney stood in a crappy marina on a wooden dock gagging at the smell of sea air.  He hadn't slept much the night before.  He'd taken a bunk at the SGC because the thought of going home to an angry Scot hadn't been very appealing.  Carter and Jackson flanked him, both looking much more well rested.  Towards the end of the dock was a boat that had seen better days.  The faded lettering on the aft read 'Homer.'  Somehow, Rodney doubted it was a literary reference.  A ratty looking sign was propped up on the dock proclaiming 'tours, fishing, charters, and parties.'  Rodney sneered at the boat.  No one in their right mind would charter the heap for a party.  It didn't even look safe.  There was some grumbling from the deck when they stepped up.

"O'Neill?" Rodney asked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm Doctor Rodney McKay.  This is Doctor Samantha Carter and this is Doctor Daniel Jackson."

"Yeah?"

"We're from the Air Force."

"Oh.  Yeah?"

Rodney reached up and rubbed his eyes.  Apparently in this reality O'Neill had some sort of brain damage.  Not that he didn't have some sort in Rodney's reality as well, but at least his O'Neill was more functional.

"Okay, let me make this simple.  You.  Come.  With.  Us.  Big important stuff."

"Um, no."

"What do you mean no?" Rodney yelled.  Carter put a hand on his arm.

"Can we talk to you privately?" she asked.  

O'Neill looked her up and down.  "You two a couple?"

She looked disturbed by the thought and quickly said, "Oh, no."

O'Neill looked at Jackson.  "How about this one?"

"No, I just met them both."  She looked back at Rodney and Daniel before leaning towards the boat.  "I think they're both gay," she whispered loudly.

O'Neill looked at them.  Rodney was pretty sure the expression on his face was just as indignant as the one on Jackson's.  "Yeah, they look it," O'Neill said.

Daniel frowned and said, "This is really important.  All we're asking is a little bit of your time."

"A hundred and fifty bucks an hour to rent the boat," O'Neill said.

"We don't want to go anywhere," Rodney sneered.

"It's your money."

Rodney looked at his companions.  "Well, I don't have any cash."  The looks he received from the other two were less than polite.  He shrugged as they started pooling their money.  O'Neill looked far too smug for Rodney's liking.  When the cash had been handed over, Jackson and Carter climbed aboard and were issued life jackets.  When Jackson refused, O'Neill insisted it was company policy.  He held up a third jacket for Rodney.  "No thanks.  I get seasick.  I'll just stand here."  O'Neill just shrugged.  Jackson and Carter both shot him reproving looks that were dampened somewhat by the goofy orange life preservers.

"So what can I do for you folks?"

"We're part of a top secret project and we need your assistance," Carter explained.

"Not interested."

"We have reason to believe you are the only one capable of flying our particular equipment," Jackson added tactfully.

"Nope."

"It's a matter of national security, sir."

Hearing Carter call O'Neill 'sir' gave Rodney the shivers.  It was almost like home if you ignored the fishy-smelling setting.  Rodney paced along the end of the boat as Carter and Jackson tried different tacks and failed miserably.  He could tell that Jackson was practically bursting to spill all the facts, but Rodney had nipped that idea in the bud on the way to the marina.  They wanted O'Neill to help them, not think they were nuts.  Finally, when the two of them ran out of air, Rodney took a chance.

"Well, come on.  He won't budge.  I don't know why we wasted our time in the first place.  He probably can't even fly the damn thing."

Carter shot him a curious look.  Bringing in O'Neill had been his plan.  O'Neill looked around and frowned.

"There isn't anything I can't fly."

"Yeah, yeah.  I can tell that from the classy vessel you're piloting now.  Carter, Jackson, let's go."

"Don’t knock my boat!"

"Listen, Colonel, there are plenty of people in the Pentagon that seem to think you're hot stuff, but from what I'm seeing right now, I highly doubt it."

O'Neill looked like he was ready to yell, but he suddenly paused.  "Oh, I see what you're doing.  Well, that reverse psycho stuff won't work on me."

"No?  Well, let me tell you something.  I do not have time for your crap. I need you personally.  There are special circumstances that I can't explain right now.  I don't care if you hate the Air Force.  I don't care if you want to live your life like some kind of beach bum with no beach.  I do care about a member of my team.  I can't get him back with out your help.  I thought the Air Force didn't leave people behind.  Obviously, I was mistaken.  Carter, Jackson, now!"  Rodney spun on his heel and started back down the dock.  He ignored the grumbling of his companions as they tried to get out of their life jackets and off the boat.

"Wait!" O'Neill called out when Rodney was almost to the end of the dock.  He turned to look at the colonel.  O'Neill casually walked up the way and looked him in the eye.  "This for real or is it some kind of trick?"

"Major John Sheppard, Air Force.  He was killed in Afghanistan.  With your help I can change that."

"I don't understand.  If he's dead..."

"If you come with us I'll show you how."

O'Neill looked at him hard.  Rodney didn't hold anything back.  He thought about Sheppard and how he didn't deserve to die.  He thought about Zelenka and Elizabeth and all the other members of the Atlantis expedition who would never get the chance to be all that he knew they could be.  Thankfully, it must have been enough because O'Neill just nodded.

"You'd better not be yanking my chain."

"Just wait for the part where I explain how this is all your fault, technically."

O'Neill squinted at him again like he was auditioning for the part of Clint Eastwood.  Rodney watched the man turn and go back to the boat, presumably to collect his belongings.  Carter smiled at him encouragingly.  Jackson cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Well, that was easier than I thought," Rodney said and headed for the car.

"And yet we're still out a hundred and fifty bucks," Jackson mumbled, but Rodney ignored him.

The second time bringing a member of SG-1 through the complex was less entertaining.  The security was old hat for O'Neill, so he didn't blink at all the precautions.  Rodney didn't even bother taking him to Hammond.  They went straight to the lab instead.  When they stepped through the double doors, O'Neill whistled at the Time Jumper.

"That's a funky bird you got there, Doc."

"It's an alien space craft equipped with a time machine."

"Huh.  Like those Back to the Future movies?  You got a flux capacitor in there?"

"Oh, God!  What is it with you pilots?"  Rodney sighed and led the way into the ship.  He pointed out the time machine to O'Neill and had him sit in the pilot seat.  "Now just concentrate and think about turning the ship on."

O'Neill pursed his lips in a 'whatever' expression before gripping the controls.  Nothing happened right away, so he closed his eyes.  Just as they had with Carson, the console lights flickered on.  O'Neill opened his eyes and looked at the three of them.  He raised his eyebrows.

"Whaddya know.  Works like a charm."

Rodney smiled.  Carter did a little jump and clap beside him that was just embarrassing.  Jackson looked pleased himself and asked, "So now what's the plan?"

Rodney paused.  "I'm working on that."

---

Lost time is never found again.
--Benjamin Franklin


"Absolutely not," Hammond said with authority.

"What?  You can't be serious.  All this work and you're not going to let us go?"  Rodney yelled.

"There's no way I can authorize you to use the time machine, Doctor.  This ship is the only one we have.  You and your team were supposed to be learning about and adapting the technology."

"General, I know all this must seem extremely far fetched to you.  I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.  Something here is terribly wrong.  I know I'm not the most popular guy around here, but I'm not making this up.  There are threats out there in the universe that are greater than you could ever imagine.  Now that the Pentagon knows about the Stargate, they're going to want to use it.  I promise you, we're better off if I can make things the way they were.  Earth has been very lucky, and there have been some very good people taking care of us.  I can tell you right now, this reality doesn't have that."

"Son—"

"I'm just asking you to give me a chance.  I don't think there will be any repercussions for you because once we use the time machine this reality is going to change one way or the other."

Hammond stared at the conference table they were both standing by.  Rodney looked out into the empty gate room once again.  He heard the older man sigh and waited.

"I'm sorry, Doctor McKay.  I can't give you what you want.  I am authorizing a test of the flight capabilities of the Jumper.  After our discussion, I think it would be best if I sent a full team with you.  A team that's prepared for anything.  If only to keep you...honest."

Rodney turned to look at Hammond and saw the general's eyes twinkling at him.  He smirked and nodded.  "You do what you have to do, General.  I'd better go get my team ready."

Rodney took the stairs two at a time and almost knocked some bespectacled sergeant out of the way in his hurry.  He raced to the elevator.  Carter, Jackson, and O'Neill were sitting in his lab, waiting.

"Well?" Jackson asked.

"He's authorized a flight test for the jumper with a full strike team to keep us from using the time machine."

"What?" Carter said in surprise.

"Oh, that's sneaky.  I like it," O'Neill said with a small grin.

"I don't understand."

O'Neill turned to her.  "He's giving us a go, while still covering his ass."

They all split up to get ready for the mission later that afternoon.  Rodney sat down in front of his computer and stared at budgetary reports blankly.  It was just a matter of going through the motions until he could get out of this strange new world and back to his own.  Some time must have passed because a knock on the door frame startled him out of his stupor.  He swiveled the chair and saw Carson standing in the doorway.

"Hi."

Carson nodded and stepped into the room.  They stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments.

"I heard that there's a test of the ship later this afternoon," Carson said finally.

"Yes."

"You're really going to do it, aren't you?"

"Yes," Rodney replied, getting testy.

Carson stepped over and picked up a circuit board that was lying on the workbench.  He began to turn it over and over in his hands.  Rodney reached out and took it away from him.  He set it back on the workbench and shoved it out of reach.  "Did you want something?" he asked.

"You were right."

"Of course, I was."  Rodney paused.  "About what?"

"It was about me."

"I shouldn't have said... I mean, sometimes my mouth and my brain aren't really connected, and—"

"Are you actually apologizing?" Carson asked with a hint of a smile.

"Yes, write it down."

Carson turned toward him and leaned a hip on the workbench. "I've had time to think about it.  And I remembered one thing."

"What?"

"That I trust you."

Rodney was taken aback and couldn't form a reply.  Carson smiled softly at him before reaching out to take his hand.  Rodney looked down at their joined fingers.  Carson squeezed the hand before releasing it, and without another word, headed for the door.

"He was a lucky man, you know," Rodney called after him.

"Who?" Carson asked from over his shoulder.

"Rodney."

"Not really," Carson replied and slipped from the room.

Two hours later, Rodney sat in the co-pilot's seat next to O'Neill.  He desperately wished that it was Sheppard instead.  He had trust issues, but somehow the major had marched right through all of them.  Carter and Jackson were sitting behind them chatting away quietly.  The helmets really weren't doing anything for them.  Major Kawalsky, some friend of O'Neill's, was standing behind the seats.

"You sure about this, Jack?" Kawalsky asked.

"No, and that's Colonel, Major."

"Aw, come on, how long were you retired?"

"Not long enough.  Take a seat and tell your boys to prepare for a bumpy ride.  We don't know what this thing will do."

"Yes, sir!" Kawalsky barked in a less than sincere voice.  O'Neill shot him a look over his shoulder before grabbing the controls.

Rodney leaned over.  "The controls are pretty simple.  It'll open up to your thoughts.  Let the ship guide you.  Don't worry about it being bumpy—there are inertial dampeners."

"This would be easier if..."

"If what?"

O'Neill frowned.  "If you'd shut up and let me think."

The Jumper turned quiet at that outburst.  O'Neill took a deep breath and in moments the ship began ascending into the air.  Rodney checked the panel.

"Okay, we don't want to scare the natives, so think about being invisible.  That should bring up the shield."

O'Neill's eyebrows worked a bit.  From his panel, Rodney could see that the cloak engaged.  Jackson leaned up over his shoulder.

"How do we know we're invisible?"

"Because that blinky light tells me so.  Do me a favor and leave the science to professionals.  You'll get your shot, Language Boy."

The Time Jumper ran smoothly out of the atmosphere like any other Jumper.  They were getting regular radio transmissions from the mountain.  He heard Hammond wish them luck before O'Neill switched it off.  Rodney looked over his shoulder to see Carter.  She bit her lip and raised her eyebrows.  He nodded at her and craned his neck even more to see Jackson behind him.  He received a nod from the archaeologist.

"Okay, Colonel.  Think about 2995 B.C.  Concentrate on that date."

O'Neill looked closely at him.  "Are you sure about this?"

"Of course."

O'Neill sighed and closed his eyes.  There was a soft noise.  Rodney and Carter both looked back at the time drive.  It was powering up.

"God, I hope this works," Rodney whispered to not interrupt O'Neill's focus.

"I thought you were sure!" Jackson hissed.

Rodney shrugged as the time drive engaged.  There was a strange sensation like going down a fast elevator only forwards, then nothing.  Rodney and Carter both looked at the drive again as it powered down.  Kawalsky leaned forward in his seat to see around the bulkhead.

"Well?" he asked.

"I don't know.  Check the radio," Rodney said to O'Neill.

"NORAD this is Time Ship One, copy."  There was the crackle of static but no response.  "NORAD, Time Ship One, respond."  O'Neill looked over to Rodney and raised his eyebrows.

"Take us down.  Head for Africa."

"Africa?"

"Egypt."

"Ah."  O'Neill paused.  "That'd be over there, yeah?"

Rodney answered testily, "Think about a map."

A screen popped up, showing their position and a plotted course to Egypt.

"Oh," O'Neill responded, "sweet."

As they broke through the clouds over Giza, Jackson gasped.  Rodney had to admit he was rather impressed himself.  He'd never seen the pyramids in his own time, but he was pretty sure that the crumbling structures were nothing compared to the buildings in their prime.  Rodney pointed to an out-of-the-way spot in the desert's outskirts.  When they landed, he handed O'Neill the remote.

"Garage door opener?" the colonel quipped.

"It controls the shield so the ship will remain invisible."

"Ah."

Kawalsky stepped forward.  "What's the game plan, sir?"

"We should probably move in a small group.  We certainly don't want to get noticed by Ra.  I'd also feel better if a few of your men would stay to guard the ship.  It's our only way out of here," Rodney interjected.

"Okay," O'Neill said, "McKay, you, Carter, Jackson, and Kawalsky are with me.  The rest of you set up a perimeter.  Keep in radio contact.  If you get into trouble, do not engage until ordered.  Dr. Carter says we could muck up the planet or something."

"No pressure," Jackson mumbled.

"McKay?" O'Neill said ignoring the comment.

"Right, let's go try and make contact.  Dr. Jackson can help there."

"Didn't I just say no pressure?" Daniel asked.  O'Neill slapped him on the back which made his helmet go forward and knock into his glasses.  Rodney wondered if he'd looked that green to Sheppard and Ford on his first mission.

The five of them trooped out into the desert.  The sun was merciless. Rodney ended up at the back trying to keep the pace.  He wished for a joke from Ford or a quiet smile from Teyla to spur him on.  Mostly, he missed Sheppard annoying the crap out of him.  Carter only wanted to talk shop, which would have been nice normally, but her lack of knowledge about Gate travel and physics as he now knew them meant that he did all the talking while she just asked questions.  It wasn't half as good as talking to Colonel Carter would have been, and it no way near touched the sentence-finishing conversations he usually had with Zelenka back on Atlantis.  Rodney stopped to take a drink from his canteen.  He thought he must really be homesick if he was thinking fondly about the Czech.  

It took a bit to catch back up with the others after his stop.  Rodney's mind wandered to Elizabeth and wondered whether she was trying for world peace in this reality.  In his rush to get back, he hadn't thought much about the others.  Partly it was his self-centered nature, but mostly it was a form of protection.  After finding out about Sheppard's death, he didn't want to find out the same or worse about the others.  At least it was good to know that Carson was fine.  Rodney stumbled in the sand.  Jackson shot out an arm to steady him.  He nodded in thanks.  

Thinking about Carson was just difficult now that he knew the nature of their relationship in this reality.  That last conversation he'd had with Carson before they went on the mission kept running around and around in the back of his mind.  Since Atlantis, Rodney had gotten good at guessing in high-pressure situations, but not this time.  The perfect equations he'd spent a life studying broke down when it came to people.  It was like working on a physics puzzle without knowing any of the variables.  Thinking about this reality's Carson just made his head hurt, so instead he thought about his own.  His Carson loved to needle him or knock him down a peg, but he never did so maliciously.  From the moment they met—Rodney had gotten off the horrendous helicopter ride from McMurdo and shoved his bags at the first body, assuming it was some flunky, not the chief medical officer—Carson had been nothing but warm.  The Scot had taken Rodney's usual abrasive behavior in stride and had just accepted who he was without question.  Just as he had had the epiphany that John was his friend in the briefing room, there in the desert, Rodney realized what a good friend Carson had been to him.

"And the last thing I did to him was brush him off when he was trying to be that friend," Rodney muttered.

"What?" O'Neill asked.

Rodney looked up in surprise.  The group had come to a halt on top of a dune. He climbed up to stand with the rest of them.  The dune overlooked a flattened area that joined into the river valley.

"Look.  There's a camp down there.  Maybe we should go check it out," Carter said.

O'Neill checked his weapon and said, "Right.  I've got point.  Jackson?"

"What?" the man answered distractedly.

"You're with me.  You two hang back.  Kawalsky, take our six."

Kawalsky nodded and said, "Yes, sir."

Jackson practically scurried down the dune with O'Neill having trouble keeping up.  McKay smirked and followed, keeping one hand on his sidearm.  He could feel Carter's eyes on him.  They reached the bottom of the dune and waited for O'Neill to signal them forward.

"You seem pretty comfortable with that," Carter commented, pointing at his gun.

"Yeah.  It was weird at first, but you get used to it.  Hell, you come to appreciate it when crazy aliens have decided for whatever reason that they really need to kill you."

"What kind of aliens?" she asked and then started moving when O'Neill waved them on.

"They're just like us.  Actually, generally they're less advanced than us.  Due to outside influences, most cultures haven't had the chance to get to our level of technology, with a few exceptions."

"Huh," she said sounding disappointed.

"If you mean alien aliens, there are few of those out there too.  The Roswell grays that everyone loves to have on crappy merchandise are called The Asgard."

"You mean all that X-Files stuff is true?" Kawalsky asked over his shoulder as he stood rear guard.

"Sort of, though I doubt they'd be very interested in our cattle or probing us.  Mostly, I think they find us kind of odd.  We're the new kids on the block in terms of our galaxy."

"Oh," Carter said quietly.

She sounded like a dumb blonde, but he could tell her mind was churning over every little tidbit of information he spooned out to her.  She shuffled along beside him awkwardly and he sighed.  What this reality had done to her was a crime.  She was still smart but lacking experience, and all the grace and economy of movement that the Air Force or just plain confidence had drilled into her was gone.  They caught up with O'Neill and Jackson, who were standing slack-jawed.

"Ah, Colonel Carter," said an Egyptian man who was standing in front of the two flabbergasted men.  Carter blinked and turned to Rodney.  "You two sirs I do not know," the man continued.

"I'm Doctor McKay.  How is it that you—"

"Please come with me. Ra’s patrols come through here often. They must not see you.  Please, come."

They followed the man, who Jackson informed them was called Katep.  They were led into a large tent.  Kawalsky stood by the entrance with his machine gun ready.  Rodney crossed his arms and waited for an explanation.

O'Neill asked, "How do you know who we are?"

"This is not the first time we have met.  Except for these two gentlemen."

"You knew SG-1.  I knew you guys were the ones that screwed this up.  I knew it!" Rodney crowed.

Katep blinked at him and continued, "Five years ago you came. You were witness to the death of my brother at the hands of Ra. After you were trapped here, we planned an uprising together."

"So much for causality!" Carter said.

Rodney smirked and said, "Yeah, but Ra's still here, so I guess you guys' track record is a load of crap."

"Our first attempt at gathering forces for the rebellion did not go well. We had to expose ourselves to those who proved still loyal to Ra. You were captured and executed long before the plan could be finished," Katep explained.

"All of us?" O'Neill asked.

"All but one," Katep said.

Kawalsky quickly stepped back from the tent opening with his machine gun ready.  O'Neill brought up his P-90 as a hooded figure stepped inside.  They all gasped as the hood was pushed back to reveal Doctor Daniel Jackson.  While there was a lot of looking back and forth at the doubles from everyone else, Rodney took his chance and stepped forward.

"You stupid ass!  What the hell were you thinking?" he barked.

Daniel raised his eyebrows.  "McKay?  What are you doing here?  Kawalsky?"

"I'm fixing your screw up!  Why the hell Carter let you go around futzing with time is beyond me!"  Rodney fumed.

Daniel had the decency to look sheepish.  "She did warn us of the risks, but she was sure the effect would be minimal.  I mean the ZPM was important—"

"Wait.  Zed-PM?  What Zed-PM?"

"The ZPM we went back into the past for...  Hold on a second, how do you know any of this?"

"I was in Atlantis one minute and then I woke up here.  I don't know why I'm the only one who realized there was a change...and I just realize those jerks never told me about the Zed-PM.  The moment I saw Major Davis in Hammond's office I should have wrung his neck.  Ah, what am I saying?  They probably think the thing is a pretty lamp or something."

The others were looking back and forth between them like tennis spectators.  Rodney crossed his arms and mentally bemoaned the fact that he had been so close to a Zed-PM.  Then he realized it wouldn't have done him any good in the current reality and let it go.

"I explained it all on the tape," Daniel said.

"Tape?" Carter asked.

"You mean the video camera?  The one that was useless because the canopic jar was damaged?"  Rodney said snidely.

Daniel winced, "Ouch."

"Yeah, nice try though."

"Hey, where's Teal'c?"

"How should I know?  Shooting people for Apophis I suppose."

Carter leaned toward Jackson as they watched Rodney and Daniel talk. "Who's Teal'c?" she asked.  He shrugged in response.

"You didn't go get him?" Daniel scolded.  He put his hands on his hips and frowned.

"And get killed by him or Apophis?  I don't think so.  They hadn't even retrieved the Stargate when we used the ship.  It's not like it matters—once we fix whatever it was that you screwed up, everything should pop back into place and Teal'c will be fine."

"Wait, are you telling me you came back in time to fix things?" Daniel asked in astonishment.

"Of course!  Do you think I'm going to keep hanging around on Earth?  I need to get back to Atlantis.  You have no idea how you've changed things!  Sheppard's dead, and apparently this me is living with Carson!" Rodney practically screamed.

Katep nervously tried to shush him.  Jackson, Kawalsky, and O'Neill all looked surprised.  Carter snorted and leaned into O'Neill.  "Told you he was gay."

"Rodney," Daniel sighed, shaking his head, "I'm not sure we can fix this.  I've been here five years trying.  Please, sit down.  I'll explain."  They all sat down on the rugs scattered around the sand.  Daniel took a deep breath before speaking.  "Basically we got trapped here because Sam didn’t want to affect the timeline, but ultimately Jack and Teal’c couldn’t stand the idea of living out the rest of their lives under Ra’s rule without doing anything. We remembered there was a rebellion here on Earth—that's how the Gate got buried in the first place—so we figured what difference does it make if we’re involved or not? Unfortunately, we never got a chance to execute the plan."

"We heard," O'Neill said.

"Yes. We tried to do too much too fast. Since then, Katep and I have been slowly building up an underground movement. I can only assume things don’t go well since the future still needs fixing."

"According to the tablet—" Jackson began.

"What tablet?" Daniel asked.

Jackson blinked at being interrupted by himself.  "Oh, the one you haven't written yet.  It explains that the rebellion was a success, but Ra takes the Stargate with him when he leaves.  It then goes on to give a location where a second Stargate is."

"Go me.  So the rebellion works, we just need to make sure that Ra doesn't take the Stargate."

"Sounds like a plan," Kawalsky said with a grin.

---

Time only seems to matter when it's running out.
--Peter Strup


They sat in the tent around a map of the area.  O'Neill and Kawalsky were going over Daniel's attack plan.  Rodney was pacing from one end of the tent to the other.  On his fifth time around, Carter caught his pants leg and tugged.

"What?"

"Don't you think you should look at it?"

"Why?"

"Well, you know all about... I mean, everything so far has been..."

Rodney looked down at her and realized that she was worried.  She wasn't used to the whole military aspect yet.  He licked his lip and sat down beside her.

"I may have a little experience in the field, but I leave the military decisions to the military guys.  If they know anything, it's how to blow stuff up.  Trust me, once they have a plan you and I will start knocking logic holes in it.  Then they'll fix the holes and everyone will be better off.  That's usually how these things work."

"What was I like?  You know, before."

"Well, you were a colonel in the Air Force."

"Really?" she asked.  She looked astonished at the very idea.

"Yeah.  You were O'Neill's second in command.  You looked really hot with a machine gun."

She smacked him on the shoulder like his sister used to do.  He sighed when he realized she was only comfortable with him because she thought he was gay.  Actually, that spark he'd had with Colonel Carter was nowhere to be found.  From the moment he'd met her, she'd not once set off the tingles that the colonel version of her had.  He wondered whether that meant he preferred strong women or whether he'd already had it into his head that he was taken.  Rodney cringed at that thought.  Carter giggled at him.

"I didn't hit you that hard," she teased.

"Don't worry.  You've hit me harder before."

She looked confused, but was quickly distracted by the others' raised voices.  Rodney looked over to find O'Neill arguing with Daniel, nothing he hadn't seen before.  Those two were worse than an old married couple no matter what reality they came from.  Jackson was looking back and forth between the pair like he was taking internal notes.  Katep kept trying to ease the tension.

Rodney spoke up.  "What?  What's all the noise about?"

"His plan doesn't cover the Stargate at all," O'Neill groused.

"We know this plan works.  The rebellion works.  If we change the plan, we may lose," Daniel countered.

"It'll work, but Ra'll take the Stargate, and we'll be back where we started.  We're going to have to change it somehow," Rodney said.

"There are two mother ships parked out there!  We don't stand a chance against both of them.  That's why we planned to have the fighting away from the Stargate."

Kawalsky stood and stared at the map.  "There's one thing your plan doesn't take into account."

"What?" Daniel asked.

"We have our own ship.  Why don't you go ahead with your part, and it'll act as a distraction.  Then we swoop in and steal the Stargate with our ship."

Daniel looked less stubborn, but he obviously wasn't completely convinced.  "One little Ancient ship is going to get massacred by two ha'taks."

"Not if you stayed cloaked," Rodney said quietly.

"Yes, but you see, the ship fits in the Gate, not the other way around," O'Neill said.

"There has to be a way that we can cable the Gate to the ship," Carter said, looking to Rodney.

"Hmm...that might work."

Several hours and a couple of modifications to the Jumper later and they were ready to go.  Katep and Daniel had already left to gather their forces for the main assault, taking the rest of O'Neill's men with them.  The colonel was ready to head back to the Jumper.

"What if something goes wrong with the ship?" the colonel asked.  "Things could get hairy up there once they figure out what we're up to."

"Carter should go with you.  She can make repairs if she has to," Rodney said checking his gear.

Carter looked panicked and said, "No.  You know more about the Puddle Jumpers than I do.  You should go with him."

"That would leave you with the ground team.  There's no way you're ready for a firefight.  You'll be fine.  O'Neill, give me your P-90.  I'm trained to use one and I'll probably need it more than you will."

"You sure?" O'Neill asked.

"I don't like it, but yeah."

O'Neill handed over the weapon.  "Okay, we've got a walk ahead of us.  I'll radio you when we're in position.  Good luck."

"Watch your ass, sir," Kawalsky said.

"You too, Major."

Rodney watched the hero walk out of the tent with Carter in tow.  Somehow he never was the one that got the girl.  Apparently instead, he was the one that got the boy.  Rodney snorted at himself.  Feeling a little shaky, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  A hand slapped him on the back hard and he shot a look over his shoulder at Kawalsky.

"Nervous, Doc?"

"Nah," Rodney lied, "I've taken on Wraith.  Compared to them, the Jaffa are teddy bears."

Kawalsky chuckled and turned.  "Jackson, we need you for translation, but when I give you the signal, you take cover.  Damn, I wish we had more of Katep's men."

"We went over this, Major.  The more people we have, the more suspicious we look.  Hopefully, we'll take them by surprise," Rodney said with irritation.

"Man, I hope this works."

"You and me both."

The three of them pulled on Egyptian robes over their gear and trudged out to the edge of camp.  Three of Katep's men were standing by with a large two wheeled ox cart.  The scrawny beast pulling it smelled horrible.  Rodney took the front with Jackson and was glad that he wasn't downwind of the animal.  Kawalsky stayed close to the cart.  His gun was too big to hide under his robes like Rodney's so it was stashed in the straw.  When everyone was ready, they started walking out of the camp towards the large pyramids in the distance.

They were about a half a klick from the Stargate when O'Neill radioed that he was in place.  Rodney slowed the pace down and moved himself and Jackson over a bit to give Kawalsky a clear line of fire.  He could feel the P-90 heavy against his chest.  The robe covered it, but he moved his hand up to the seam so that he could reach for the weapon quickly.  Jackson had a handgun in his bag and he was already slipping his hand inside to be ready.  There were four Jaffa guarding the gate with several more spread out near the pyramids.  They got within fifty feet before one of the Gate Jaffa stepped forward to stop them.  Rodney's palms were sweaty.  He heard Kawalsky mumble their readiness into the radio for O'Neill.

"Aray kree!" the hawk-helmeted figure yelled at them and brandished his staff weapon.

"Kel sha," Jackson said and bowed deeply.  

As soon as he was down, Kawalsky whipped out his machine gun and started firing.  The other Jaffa began to turn as the first one went down.  Jackson quickly fell back to the cart.  The ox reared in its restraints and snapped out of the harness.  The cart tipped back with a thud and sprayed straw along the sand.  Rodney pulled out the P-90 and started spraying the two Jaffa on the opposite side of the gate.  The first one went down, but the second one got off a shot.  Rodney ducked and dove behind the Gate platform.  The Jaffa got off two more shots before Rodney jumped up to fire back.  Kawalsky had already taken care of the fourth one and was helping by flanking to the other side.  The Jaffa was caught in their crossfire and went down.

"Doc!  Hurry!  Those other Jaffa will be here in no time!" Kawalsky bellowed.

Rodney ran up the stairs to the Gate itself.  "O'Neill?  O'Neill?  Where are you?" he yelled into the radio.

"Right above you, McKay.  Cables descending."

Rodney looked up but didn't see anything.  Then there was a disturbance in the air and he could hear the Jumper's engines.  Two cables lowered from nothing.  Rodney planted his foot in the curve of the Gate and boosted himself up to grab the first cable.  It was hard to keep his balance and wrap the cable around the Gate at the same time.  He heard the clip on the end catch and quickly dropped down.  As he was running to connect the other side, a blast slammed into the Gate next to his face.  He flinched away before clambering up the curve again.

"Hurry up, Doc!  Looks like our buddies here had friends!" Kawalsky snapped over the radio.

Rodney took a quick second to look around.  Jaffa were running at them from the directions of both pyramids.  They were going to be surrounded in less than a minute.  He heard the whup-whup sound of staff weapons mixed with the occasional sound of gunfire.  Rodney did a quick head count as he tried to connect the clip onto the second cable.  It looked as though two of Katep's men were already down.  The third was positioned at one corner of the cart covering their backs.  Jackson had moved away from the cart and was trying to use the base of the stairs as cover.  Rodney noticed that he fired his handgun with his eyes almost closed.  Kawalsky was a few feet away from Jackson on the other side of the stairway.  Rodney felt the clip connect and yanked to make sure it was secure.  When he was satisfied, he dove off the Gate platform into the sand.  He lay flat on his belly and yelled into the radio.

"O'Neill!  Go!"

The soft whine of the Jumper's engines got louder, and there was the sound of stone grating against stone.  Rodney didn't have time to glance back to see whether the Gate was clearing the platform because when he looked up, there were four Jaffa in front of him.  He watched four staff weapons being lowered toward his head in unison.  The tips snapped open like mutant clamshells.  Rodney hoped that his life wouldn't flash before his eyes because there was a lot of it he really didn't want to relive.

"McKay!  Don't move!" O'Neill said over his earpiece.

He didn't even get a chance to respond before there was a shadow and a whoosh of air over his head.  The Gate had gone horizontal as soon as it was removed from the platform.  It swung sideways like a flat wrecking ball and slammed into the four Jaffa, littering them across the sand.  Rodney ducked his head again as the Gate swung back.  He rolled onto his back and saw the ring slowly climb into the sky.  That was when the two ha'tak opened fire from their parked positions on top of the pyramids.  The first volley missed, but the second splashed against the invisible ship and sent the Gate tossing madly in the sky.  O'Neill did some deft flying and took the ship between the pyramids, causing the ha'tak to fire on themselves for a bit.

Rodney rolled to his feet and brought the P-90 up.  Kawalsky was closest, so he started to move in that direction.  He saw the Jaffa behind the man at the same time as Jackson.  Rodney sucked in a breath to yell.  The sound hadn't even reached his throat when the Jaffa fired.  Jackson flew at the major.  His shoulder connected with Kawalsky at the same time as the blast.  The two of them went down in a heap.  Rodney fired the P-90 with a yell and watched the Jaffa's armor spark from the hits before he too went down.  Rodney ran towards his companions.  There were staff blasts flying everywhere.  Jackson lay on top of Kawalsky.  His back and side were a black smoking mess.  Rodney rolled him over.  Jackson's glasses were askew and his face pale.  There was no pulse when Rodney checked his neck.  Kawalsky coughed, and Rodney quickly checked him over.  The staff blast had hit the both of them, but Jackson had taken the brunt.  Kawalsky's stomach looked like overdone hamburger.

"Agh, Doc?"

"Don't talk, Kawalsky."

"My gun?"

Rodney reached and pulled the machine gun over.  He pushed it into Kawalsky's hands.  They weren't under as much fire, so Rodney looked up and around.  The Jaffa were being drawn away from them by a group of locals.

"We're still in the open.  Come on.  Let's get over by the cart," Rodney said and moved behind Kawalsky.  He grabbed the major under his arms and started dragging him to the cart.  The straw in the back was smoking a bit, but the cart was mostly undamaged.  The last of the men Katep had sent with them was slumped, dead, by the wheel on the opposite side.  Kawalsky groaned in pain as Rodney moved him.  They made it to the cart without any trouble.  Rodney propped the major up on the wheel and squatted next to him.  The stomach wound was oozing.  He quickly pulled off his robe and pressed it to Kawalsky's stomach.  He received a grunt for his efforts.

"Where's Carson when I need him?" Rodney said softly.

Kawalsky groaned. "You mean your boyfriend?"

Rodney didn't feel up to correcting him.  "He's a doctor.  He'd know what to do."

"It's a gut shot, Doc.  There isn't anything anyone could do.  Not out here in the middle of the desert."

Rodney looked up into Kawalsky's wry eyes.  "Don't talk like that.  Jack'll be back here in a minute to save our butts.  That's what SG-1 does."

"I got eyes, Doc.  Plus, it's kind of stopped hurting.  That's not really a good sign."

"What is it with this reality and majors wanting to go off and get killed?" Rodney snapped.

"It's our job," Kawalsky said plainly.  He looked around in confusion for a few moments before asking, "Where's Jackson?"

"He's dead," Rodney answered.  He looked over to where they had been hit.  He could only see Jackson's boots poking out from the edge of the stairs.

"Damn, he should have stayed down.  He bought it for nothing."

Rodney flopped next to Kawalsky and leaned back up against the wheel.  The ground began to rumble beneath them.  They looked up to see one of the ha'taks starting to rise up off its pyramid.

"Would you look at that," Kawalsky said with awe.

"Ra's leaving.  I guess that means we're winning."

"Good for us," Kawalsky said and then stopped talking to cough a bit.  "You going back to your boyfriend?" he asked when he could finally speak.  Rodney looked over and gaped at him.  The major shrugged.  "Hey, live and let live, I say.  Doc Beckett seemed like a nice enough guy when I was getting my pre-mission check up."

"The thing is, we did what we came for, so everything should go back to normal, which means he won't be my boyfriend anymore."

"So, you go back, you buy him flowers and you start from scratch.  He fell for you once.  Why wouldn't he again?"

Rodney felt like saying something nasty, but then he looked down at the bloody robe holding Kawalsky's insides in, and he just frowned instead.  Doing all of this had been a way not only to get home, but to get out of the confusing mess with Carson as well.  Never once had he thought about adding that mess to his own life.  It seemed ridiculous.  After all, he'd never been interested in men, and he didn't know whether his Carson would even be interested in him.  Though being together in an alternate reality meant that there had to at least be some attraction there, lying beneath the surface.  Rodney thought about Carson, about his warm smiles and his gentle touches.  Had his Carson been attracted to him all along?  Had Rodney just not been picking up the signals?  If so, did he want to do anything about it knowing what he knew now?  Rodney looked over to Kawalsky to ask his opinion.

The major's eyes were glassy and empty.  Rodney swallowed and reached over to touch the man's neck.  There was no pulse.  He respectfully reached up and closed Kawalsky's eyes.  The sound of the battle was further away and the rumbling in the ground meant the other mother ship was leaving as well.  They'd won.  Rodney sat alone and didn't feel very relieved.

"I'm sure you're better off in the regular reality, Kawalsky," he said softly and waited.

---

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
--George Bernard Shaw


Finished, he stepped back and heard the huge machine start to cycle again.  The lights flickered on, revealing the rest of the vast post-industrial cave.  His assistant, one of the local men, switched off the large flashlight that he had been holding.

Rodney blinked.

"Thank you, Rodney," the man said, hopping down off his perch.

Rodney looked around and recognized the underground cavern.  He was back in the middle of his last mission from Atlantis.  "Wait.  What just happened?"

"You fixed it," the man said with a smile.

"I'm not talking about the generator!  I wasn't here a second ago.  I was in the desert.  We just beat Ra and saved the Gate.  Kawalsky died!"

"I said you fixed it, Rodney."

Chills ran up the back of his neck as he looked at the smiling man.  For his part, the man—if that's what he was—just stood and took the observation.  Rodney tried to speak but stopped to turn in a complete circle and pinch himself first.

"What the hell just happened?  Who are you?" he asked.

"You needed to be shown, and I showed you.  That's what happened."

"Shown what?  Why?"

The man sighed and started walking for the stairs.  Rodney hurried after him.  This time around he took the steps two at a time and didn't think about elevators at all.  When they were at the top by the large metal door, the man turned.

"Did you not learn anything?" the man asked.

"I was supposed to learn some kind of lesson?  You messed with my head to make me see—"

"I did nothing to harm you.  I merely took advantage of an event that was going to happen anyway.  I just opened your mind to the difference is all."

"You're saying it was a switch in reality."

"Yes."

"And you were why I knew things had changed?"

Another sigh escaped the man.  "Yes."

"How is that possible?  You'd need some kind of power that...  Oh my god, you're an Ancient, aren't you?"

"You are clever, Rodney.  I never disagreed with you on that point."

"But why?  But what?  I don't understand.  What was I supposed to have learned?  That other realities suck?  I got that loud and clear."

The Ancient crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall next to the door just as he had done the first time.  He looked at Rodney carefully and then looked at his surroundings.

"Why?  I broke the rules.  My punishment is to show others the err of their ways in hopes that I will learn my own.  And so, I attempted to show you yours.  Tell me, Rodney, what did you learn?"

"We really need a Stargate?"

The man shook his head.  Rodney stopped to think, which was difficult because a million thoughts were all fighting in his head for attention.  In a moment, he jerked and reached for his radio.

"Major Sheppard!  John!  John, are you there?"

The radio crackled and suddenly a mocking voice filled the air.  "I hear you, McKay.  Keep your damn shirt on.  I'm assuming that there weren't any problems seeing as how I didn't hear a big boom."

Rodney sagged a bit in relief.  "Are Ford and Teyla with you?"

"Of course they're with me.  Where else would they be?  Disneyland?"

"I can't believe I actually missed you, you ass," Rodney said, smiling.  He slumped against the stair railing.

The major's voice came back sounding concerned.  "Are you okay, Rodney?"

"I'm fine," he replied and clicked off the radio.  Rodney looked up at the Ancient to discover he was getting a reproving look.  "What?  If you didn't intend for me to learn how important my friends are, then you've got me stumped."

"There is a mistake you made in your life that your alternate did not.  If you can't understand that, I can't make you."

"But the only difference outside of the Gate was..." Rodney paused.

The Ancient smiled and nodded.  Before Rodney could say anything in response, there was the sound of wrenching metal, and the door popped open.  Sheppard poked his head in.  The major's greeting stopped in his mouth when he saw Rodney's face.  He glanced over at where Rodney was looking, but there was nothing there.  He looked back at Rodney with a questioning expression.  Rodney ignored it and hurried past him, into the tunnel that would take him outside.  He was feeling a little claustrophobic...again.

Rodney didn't see the Ancient again as they were leaving.  It was a small matter of apologizing and receiving thanks all at the same time, only it was far more tedious the second time around since he'd been through it once before.  It seemed forever before they were in the Puddle Jumper and back to Atlantis.  He was dreading the meeting with Elizabeth once again because he wasn't sure he could explain everything that had happened to him or whether he even wanted to.  Rodney just sat back in his seat and absorbed all the small talk and jibes he was getting from his teammates.  He hadn't been lying to Sheppard.  He had missed them all and he was glad everything was back to normal, mostly.  

The team made its way to the infirmary for the usual post-mission check-up.  Rodney sat on the bed with a sense of dread.  There were things he wasn't ready to deal with, and now he was being forced to look them all in the blue Scottish eyes first thing.  After a few moments, Carson made his way over to look at his chart.  The nurse had already taken his vitals.  It was just a matter of Carson signing off on him.  Rodney was sure he could get through this.  If he could just fool Carson into thinking everything was fine, he could walk out of the infirmary and deal with things in his own time.

"I hear you caused another bit of trouble, Rodney," Carson said gleefully and pulled out his pen light.

Rodney winced at the bright light being shone in his eye.  "It...wasn't what I was expecting."
 
"No ZPM then?"

"No, at least not one that I got to see."

Carson looked at him quizzically. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, any mission you all come back from unscathed is a successful one."

"That's important to you, us...me not getting hurt?"

Carson paused and looked back down at the chart.  Rodney was practically bouncing in place.  What was Carson thinking?  Had his friendly concern all this time been something more?  If so, what would he do if Rodney returned the interest?   Considering his luck, the whole thing was just waiting to blow up in his face.

"Major Sheppard said that you had a bit of trouble on the planet," Carson said, ignoring the question and without looking up from the paperwork.

Rodney sighed and licked his lips.  "He worries about me.  He's a good friend."

Carson peered up at him without lifting his head, making Rodney meet the bright blue eyes head-on.  "Yes, he is.  Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm...good, better than good."

"All right then, off you go."  Rodney jumped down from the bed and had started towards the door when a hand landed on his shoulder.  "If you do have something to talk about, you know I'm always here," Carson said with a serious look before removing the hand.  Rodney absolutely refused to tremble and headed off to the briefing to try and explain things to Elizabeth.  All in all, it could have gone worse.  Rodney was glad when he finally got to go back to his lab.  

"Sorry I took so long," Rodney said as he flopped down at his workstation.  A couple of the scientists looked at him strangely, then suddenly scurried out of the room.  Rodney watched them leave and then turned a questioning eye toward Zelenka.

"How was your mission?"

"Already through the grapevine is it?"

"Answer question."

"It was horrible up until the part where I got shunted into another reality for being a jerk.  Then it got worse," Rodney said, rubbing his eyes.

Zelenka whistled and quickly pulled his chair closer.

Rodney groaned.  "What do you want to know?"

Zelenka smiled eagerly.  "Was Colonel Carter really just sexy doctor?"

Rodney blinked.  "Doctor, yes.  Sexy, not so much.  She was mousy."

"Mousy?  Mousy women like me," Zelenka said, looking thoughtful.

Rodney narrowed his eyes and made a quick motion with his hand for the other man to stop.

"Is true!"

"Don't want to hear it.  What else is everyone saying?"

"That Major Sheppard was dead."

"True.  Extremely scary.  You should have seen his face when I dropped that bomb in the briefing."

"Where was I?" Zelenka asked excitedly.

"I have no idea."

"You did not even look me up?  Shame on you!"

Rodney rolled his eyes and said, "Well, there was a moment when I actually missed you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm regretting it right now."

Zelenka pouted slightly and rose from his chair.  "If you are going to be this way, I'm going to bed."

"Good.  Get some sleep."

"Oh, I forget to tell you—"

Rodney raised his hands and said, "Kavanagh and Sorenson screwed up the data and broke the device.  At this moment, I don't really care."

"How did—"

"We had the conversation the first time around."  He held up his hand quickly when Zelenka looked ready to speak.  "Don't ask."

Zelenka nodded and patted him on the shoulder before leaving.  The lab was quiet.  Everyone else had probably deserted to bed or was just giving him a wide berth.  Rodney sighed and headed for his own quarters.  He was afraid that if he fell asleep in the lab, it would start all over again, and he'd end up being with Sheppard or Zelenka.  That was just too scary to contemplate.

---

Love vanquishes time.  To lovers, a moment can be an eternity, an eternity can be the tick of a clock.
--Mary Parrish


By two days after his ordeal, everyone else had gone back to work as normal.  Rodney felt adrift.  His focus was completely gone.  Kavanagh had been walking around smugly since Rodney's distraction meant that he hadn't gotten chewed out for his screw up.  Zelenka kept asking him the strangest questions about the shift.  Rodney must have told him the whole story, editing out the Carson bits just as he had in the briefing, four or five times at least.  Sheppard had been a little distant when he'd first learned about his death, but now Rodney was having a hard time getting away from the major.  Sheppard had gotten it into his head that Rodney had changed reality just for him.  He was ignoring the fact that Rodney really had just wanted to come home.  Since he had missed John a bit, Rodney let him have his little delusion.  Truth be told, Rodney was starting to get back to being just plain annoyed with the man, as he had been since he met him.  The other reality was fading in all but one respect.

He stood on one of the south balconies.  Rodney had watched the sun set hours ago and still hadn't gone back inside.  Elizabeth had found him some time ago and brought him some coffee.  She was being a supportive friend and a good boss.  Since the briefing she hadn't pushed the matter of his leaving out information, but Rodney suspected that she knew he'd done it.  The problem with her being a diplomat was that she could see a lie or obfuscation a mile away.  It was one of the things Rodney liked about her.  She never let him get away with his usual crap.  The first time, he had realized how refreshing it was after he'd stopped seething, of course.  She didn't say a word, just handed him coffee and left with a pat on his back.  

The stars came out, revealing the frightening jewel that was the Pegasus galaxy.  Rodney finished off the dregs of his coffee and thought about going inside.  He heard the whoosh of the doors behind him but didn't turn.  He suspected it was either Elizabeth coming to tell him to come in or Sheppard wanting to—God help him—bond.  But it was neither.  He saw Carson take a spot beside him out of the corner of his eye.  Rodney sighed.

He hadn't been avoiding Carson, but he hadn't seen him in the past two days either.  The plan had been to take some time and get some perspective and then make up his mind.  Rodney had taken plenty of time but perspective and a decision eluded him.  He looked over at Carson, who still hadn't spoken.  He was looking up at the sky with a thoughtful look on his face.  His stubble seemed longer than usual, and Rodney wondered if he was finally committing to that beard he'd been flirting with since they got to Atlantis.

"Hi," Rodney managed finally.

Carson turned to look at him with familiar laughing eyes.  "Hello."

"What brings you out here?"

"The stars."

"Since when have you had an interest in astronomy?"

Carson's eyebrow went up.  "I'll have you know that I've always had a passing interest in the 'hard' sciences."

"As opposed to your normal voodoo?"

"If you want to talk voodoo, I have a little doll in my room with your name on it.  Shame about all the pins."

Rodney laughed.  The joke wasn't especially funny, but it certainly broke the strange tension that had been in the air.  "So that's how you drum up business.  I should have guessed."

Carson slipped his hands into his lab coat and shrugged with a grin.  He turned to Rodney and leaned his hip on the railing.  It was the same pose the other Carson had done in his lab.  Their last conversation, Rodney realized.  The humor left him quickly and he turned away.  The stars were safer to look at.

"Is something wrong, Rodney?" Carson asked.

"No.  Yes."

"Which is it?"

"Both."

"Doctor Weir is worried about you."

Rodney looked down at the coffee cup with suspicion and looked over at Carson.  "Is that why you came out here?  Because she asked you to?"

"No, I haven't seen her today.  And, as I believe I already said, I came out here for the stars."

"There are plenty of balconies in this place, Carson, and this happens to be the only one I'm on," Rodney snorted.

"So, if I have a friend to admire the sky with, all the better.  And if he happens to be an expert in such things, well, that's just in my favor isn't it?"

A week ago, Rodney would have written that statement off as just a friendly gesture, but now he saw everything in a new light.  The question was, was it the right light?  He stared back at the cup and thought about Kawalsky's last words.

He said, "There's something about my little adventure that I didn't tell anyone."

Carson stepped closer and looked concerned.  "Is it something bad?"

"No, something good, something I didn't expect.  The other me had been in a relationship with someone.  Serious enough that they were living together.  I essentially stepped into the middle of that."

"Oh, really?" Carson said in his cheeky voice.

Rodney closed his eyes and took an existential leap of faith.  He took a deep breath and said, "It was you, Carson."

The balcony was silent.  Carson wasn't leaving, so that was a good sign.  Rodney opened his eyes and looked over at his friend.  Carson was wide-eyed.  His lips were moving but no sound was coming out.  Rodney shot him a 'spit it out' look.

"That's..." Carson said trailing off.

"Shocking?  Understandable?  Horrible?  How you finish that sentence is really kind of important to me Carson, so I would appreciate it if you'd get on with it."

Carson didn't get on with it.  Instead, he rested his arms on the balcony and leaned forward.  His face was shifting from one emotion to another so quickly that Rodney couldn’t really get a grasp on what the other man was thinking, not that he'd ever been good at that sort of thing anyway.  Rodney waited, and the not knowing ate away at his infamously limited patience.

"Well?  Say something, for Pete's sake!"

"Really?" Carson asked, looking over at Rodney with confusion.

"Yes, really.  We had a two bedroom bungalow in a housing complex.  The second bedroom was converted into a computer room since we obviously weren't using it.  Oh, and apparently you have a hidden love for crappy spy novels—you should really be ashamed of yourself."

Carson stood quickly and shot Rodney an affronted look.  "I'll have you know I only read the classics.  Ian Fleming!  Robert Ludlum!"  Rodney smirked at him.  Carson's face softened.  "You're not making this up."

"No.  Came as a bit of a surprise to me, too, but I do know that other Carson loved his Rodney."  Rodney chuckled.  The absurdity wasn't lost on him.

"How did you feel?" Carson asked without looking at him.

Rodney thought about it for a moment.  He'd been thinking about it for days and hadn't come to any conclusions, but here with Carson he could see it.

"I felt...convinced."

Carson's eyes darted back to him.  Rodney shrugged with a twisted grin.  The Ancient's lesson had been learned.  It just took him longer than usual to get the answer.  He stepped closer and brushed his shoulder against Carson's chest.  He looked out at the stars again.  It was up to the doctor now.  Rodney sent a silent thanks to Kawalsky, wherever he was in this universe.  He felt fingers brush against his own.  They clasped hands.  Carson's other hand came up to bring his face around.  There was a calculating look on his face.  Rodney, as impatient as ever, didn't let him make up his mind.  He leaned forward and took the other man's lips.  He felt Carson lean back, but Rodney moved forward, not letting him escape the moment.  There was very little response, and Rodney was about to pull away, mark it as a failure, and move on.  He didn't get the chance because Carson suddenly slammed harder against him and kissed him back.  The hand on his face slipped around the back of his head and tangled in his short hair.  Rodney reached up and clutched Carson's coat lapels.  The kiss turned from exploratory to desperate and hungry in the space of a heartbeat.  Rodney pulled back a bit to gasp for breath and received a tongue for his efforts.  His hands let go of Carson's coat and slipped around his waist to pull the man even closer.  When oxygen became an issue again, they finally parted.  They were both panting like marathoners.  Rodney let go of Carson, feeling a little embarrassed, and he wasn't the only one.

Carson blushed and said, "Well, that was..."

"We really need to talk about this sentence-finishing problem you have."

"Like anyone could get a word in around you."

Rodney frowned, which made Carson smirk.  Rodney leaned forward and tried to kiss the smarmy grin off his face.  Carson didn't seem to mind.  The pace of this kiss was much slower and friendlier.  Rodney thought he wouldn't mind doing this all night, all year, whatever.  They parted more easily the second time.

Rodney leaned his forehead on Carson's and said, "Doctor, I think I'm having heart palpitations."

Carson chuckled.  "That is the worst line I've ever heard."

"Says the guy that has a doll of me that he likes to poke."

Carson broke out into a full guffaw.  Rodney watched him laugh with a small smile.  He was reminded of the picture on the mantel in the other reality and his smile got bigger.  Rodney wanted to kiss Carson some more, but he let the man laugh.  After all, he had time.



This is not the end.  It is not even the beginning of the end.  But, it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
--Winston Churchill



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