The water took several moments to heat up sufficiently, leaving Jason's mind with the opportunity to mull over what Stephen had said. Back in high school, they had all been good friends - Stephen and Gregory, Kristina, and himself. The twins had always been considered closer to each other than the other two members of their group, and as such, he and Kristina had always stuck together. She'd help him with his homework, and he'd try to make sure that she remembered to have fun. She'd tell Jason her problems, and he'd always tell her his.
But when had it all changed? When had it all gone downhill? And why hadn't he done anything to stop it?
***
"Okay, I am officially sick of math…" Jason mused, tossing his calculus book into an overflowing locker. He slammed the door shut for emphasis, pushing his lock into place to hold the door closed before he sank to the ground. "Remind me why I have to take it again…" he muttered, staring down at his scuffed Nikes.
"Because you can't just take English, Jase. And because you're missing a math credit, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember." Jason rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the reminder Kris, I don't know where I'd be without you." Kristina just laughed, and dropped down to floor beside him.
"It's not that bad Jason, it could be worse. You could be failing…and you're not. You just need a half decent final and you're golden for U of M. I'll help you study." Jason grumbled and gave a shrug.
"I just don't see why they make me take courses that I'm never going to use in my life. Who actually ever needs to take the derivative of something? Who?"
"Who cares?" Gregory piped in, dropping to the ground beside the pair. He was quickly followed by Stephen, who lounged casually against the lockers. "Let's talk about something more important. Like the prom. Prom is good." He grinned broadly at the group. "Especially when you've got a date with Maureen Hatchings. Life is good." He smiled again and leaned back into the lockers, hands cradled behind his head.
"Hatchings? The blonde with the…" Jason trailed off, although his hand motion over his chest made it rather obvious what he had wanted to say. "How did you manage that? Damn!" he whistled appreciatively. "I can't even get Anne Marchilden to give me the time of day."
Gregory gave a cocky smirk. "I guess I just have it going on. I must just give off waves of sexiness. But anyway, enough about my good fortune…what are you guys doing?" The question was followed by three distinct shrugs.
"You guys all don't have dates yet? Damn…you better pick it up. I mean, yeah, you could go alone…but it's so much better having a girl on your arm..." he looked at Kristina. [the only time you call her Kris is when one of the guys calls her it, otherwise you always call her Kristina] "Or a guy, whatever. C'mon Kris, you telling me no one's asked you yet?" Kristina blushed a light shade of pink and shook her head.
"What do you think, Greg?" she asked, her gaze pointedly remaining on Jason before her blushing became even more profuse and she had to look away. "Nope, not a one." She paused a moment. "It's no big deal though…" there was an awkward silence between the quartet, until Kristina moved to get up.
"Anyway, I should get going. I have to go look up one last thing for my English essay. I'll see you guys later." Her words were hurried as she got up off the floor, made sure her locker was closed and quickly began walking away.
"H-hey…Kris?" She turned around at her name, softly spoken. "Would you go to prom with me?" She blushed a little and then smiled softly.
"Yeah, I'll go with you Stephen. Thanks." She waved, and quickly turned again, heading off towards the library.
***
Jason shook his head a little and turned flipped the switch to turn on the shower. "Should I have asked her?" Jason wondered out loud as he hopped into the bathtub, the hot spray assailing his body.
"I never even thought of it…she kept telling me she didn't care about prom, that she couldn't dance anyway…I thought she was serious…" He shook his wet hair vigorously and bit his lip slightly. "There's just no way…" he trailed off again, quickly switching the water off before he hopped out of the tub and wrapped a small white towel around his waist.
"She was never…I was her friend, that was it. The one she told her secrets to, her fears…the one she turned to for advice…if she was that desperate. She never, never…" he sighed.
"Did she?"
***
"Jason, I don't want to go. It's going to be so bad…" Kristina curled her legs up to her body, her fingers dancing nervously along her shoelaces.
"You're worrying too much Kristina. No one's going to do anything." He rustled through several drawers, finally settling on a faded gray T-shirt, which he tossed on the bed, just above where Kris sat on the ground.
"Jason, how can you say that? I'm up for just about every academic award they offer. It's going to be horrible." She hid her head within the cocoon of her hands and her voice came out muffled when she spoke again. "And there are just so many people that just love that. Kristina Dellaporte, the mousy, red-headed loser - head in a book, or up a teacher's ass. Come on Jason, I'm sure you've heard even more." Her head banged against her arms a few times and didn't come back up.
"It's just an awards assembly Kris. When you win something, you just have to hurry across the stage while everyone claps monotonously. We do this every year." He pulled the gray shirt on over the white one he already wore, before hunting around the room. "Light blue jeans or dark?"
"Light…" she sighed, shifting to sit cross-legged against his bed, head tilted up towards the ceiling. "And don't you remember last year, when Melanie won like three awards? How the football team made fun of her and all that? Jason, I'm worse than Melanie!" She cringed. "Except not only am I somehow on the football team's bad side, but also the cheerleaders', and just about everyone else that isn't a library dweller, or you, Stephen or Gregory. This is easily going to be the most embarrassing day of my life."
Jason sighed a little, fastening a brown leather belt in place over his hips before he sat down beside her. "Kris…we're almost done. This is the last day you ever have to go back there, beyond finals. All they can do is jeer, and you know what, me, Greg and Stephen will out cheer them, alright?" He wrapped an arm amicably around her shoulders.
"Even if those morons do laugh or call shit out, whatever they want to do…just think. Next year, you're going to have this whole new life at Berkley and you're going to be with all these wicked smart people, like you. And where are they going to be? At state schools, or flipping burgers, or something else that's menial. You're smart Kris. Don't be ashamed of it, okay? Sure I make fun of you for it…but I'd kill for what you've got. You're going to be set for life. You know what you want to do. I'm just hoping it'll land in my lap. You've got it good, Dellaporte, no matter what those fuckers tell you."
Kristina slowly looked up from the oddly coloured spot she had been staring at on his carpet and switched her stare onto Jason's eyes. "You mean that?" He nodded solemnly and her arms gently wrapped around his shoulders.
"Thanks Jase…you're the best friend I've ever had…" she smiled softly, her lips deadly close to his cheek. Slowly she pulled away and got to her feet.
"I'm still dreading this day, but thanks. It'll hurt like hell, but I guess yeah, it won't kill me." She shrugged and picked up her bookbag. "Ready?"
***
More confused than ever, Jason pulled quickly pulled on a pair of fading, ripped jeans, shimmying the tight denim expertly up to rest at his hips. He rummaged around the room, and finally found a bright, blood-red muscle shirt on the floor in a corner, which he also threw on. His hands ran through wet hair, which he quickly brushed, and headed for the door. Maybe Stephen could shed a little light on his dilemma.
Jason arrived at Stephen's apartment sooner than he expected. The time it took seemed to pass quickly, as his thoughts were not on the trip. He jogged the stairs to the seventh floor of the high-rise building to the apartment that Stephen shared with Vivian and began knocking on the door impatiently. As soon as it was opened, the words flew out of his mouth.
"Whenwewereinhighschool…did Kristina like me?" Stephen gave Jason a confused look, and ushered the smaller blonde inside.
"What? Slow down this time...Jason, what's up with you?" Jason sighed and dropped down onto a leather couch that seemed to take up the entire living room.
"In high school…senior year…did Kristina, you know, like me? Like have a crush on me?" Stephen sat down beside Jason, slowly crossing one ankle onto the opposite knee before speaking.
"Jason…that was almost four years ago. That's a long time…" Jason cut him off.
"No, I'm serious Stephen, I need to know. I've been remembering all this stuff from high school since…since I saw her last night. And I…I just need to know." I need to know how blind I really am… Jason added in his head, forcing the idea to the back on his mind. Stephen sighed and touched Jason's arm softly.
"Jason, it was high school. Weird stuff happens then, hormones. It was all about hormones. You were her best friend…she counted on you…" he began, obviously trying to find the right way to phrase things.
"She only out and said things once…after prom." Stephen continued. "She was kind of, well…drunk. And I was walking her home. That was the only time she told me and she made me promise never to tell you. But yeah, she wished that you could have seen her differently. That you saw her as a friend, but she wished sometimes that she was a cheerleader or whatever you chased, so that maybe you would notice that she was female too. I don't know Jason. I don't remember everything, and she was drunk."
"But she thought of me that way?" Stephen nodded a little.
"Yeah, I guess…" Jason sighed as his thoughts overwhelmed him once again. Had he ever thought of Kristina as…well, as female? In high school, he had chased just about every girl…but not Kristina. Her, he had always treated as…one of the guys.
"And prom Stephen? Why did you ask her to prom?" Jason asked quietly.
"Because I saw her staring at you that day in the hall, and I knew you never would."
***