Long dark brown tresses danced across his fingertips as he reached out to fondle that silken mass on her head. With an angelic giggle, she traced the contours of his smooth, milky-white face with her fingertip. As he drowned in those twin pools of hazel, he leaned forward to drop a kiss on those luscious berry lips…
And for the first time in his life, Vincent Valentine tasted mold.
“ACK! Dammit! Can’t a man have a pleasant dream for once?” he mumbled as he roughly brushed a hand across his lips to rid them of any mildewy substances.
With a heated glare at the rotting, velvet cushion of his coffin, he thrust forward a metal claw and lifted the cover. He got out and stretched his weary limbs, eager to get the stiffness out.
Despite accusations of being a vampire, Vincent lifted his face warmly towards the sunlight streaming gently through the windows. He was glad he had moved the coffin upstairs to the piano room. Otherwise, he’d still be traipsing around in the dark, searching for the stairs while blasting those flabbergasted YinYangs. And Vincent was not one to battle so early in the morning.
Vincent bent down to pick up the coffin lid and frowned. Good grief, the thing was infested by termites, and was now nurturing a colony of mushrooms. No way was he going to sleep with that over his head. He’d have to go downstairs and fetch another cover.He took a step forward and almost tripped as his foot crashed through the wood, creating a conspicuous hole on the floor. Vincent merely sighed; that was the fifth hole for the week.
As he tugged his foot out of the floorboards, he kept wondering when this decrepit mansion would ever come crashing down in all its antiquity and disregard. Today? Tomorrow? Next week? He would bet a million gil it wouldn’t last until next year. Unless it would be repaired, of course.
After grabbing a bottle of milk from the refrigerator and yanking the week’s third door out of its hinges, Vincent sighed and headed towards the stairs to the basement. He almost plunged down to his death as one of the steps broke off. But of course, being an ex-Turk, he had his reflexes, and he resumed the journey into the depths with nothing more than a palpitating heart.
As soon as he reached the bottom, Vincent caught sight of a YinYang unscrewing the only light bulb in the hallway. He took out the monster with two shots just before the hall plunged into darkness. Unfortunately, he heard the sound of shattering glass, which could only mean that the light bulb had dropped to the ground, and that he would have to go into town later and buy another one.
Straining to find his way into the coffin room even with his Jenova-enhanced eyesight, Vincent soon managed to find a decent lid. His “mission” successful, he headed back to the dilapidated staircase, hoping that he wouldn’t encounter one weak step.
He didn’t. He encountered ten.
Thank Odin that Vincent was blessed with graceful flipping abilities. Otherwise, even a man like Sephiroth would’ve died at the mercy of Shinra mansion.
Vincent sighed again. He would HAVE to find someone to fix the place up. He had thought of moving to Icicle Inn, but a house that held all of the surviving documents of Shinra Inc. was a valuable asset in a future megalomaniac’s hands. And Vincent wouldn’t want another Sephiroth.
Unless there was a Lucrecia that went with the package, he smirked to himself.
With the coffin lid in hand, he returned to the piano room, creating a few more floorholes in the process. After setting it on his coffin, he turned back to the old lid, wondering what to do with it. Chop it into wood for the fireplace? Nah, there was too much spare wood lying around the house anyway, so why bother.
An idea sprouted in Vincent’s mind, and he smiled as he picked up the lid and set it in the corner of the room, where it was cool and comfortably humid. Perfect for cultivating mushrooms.
He ambled down towards his makeshift kitchen, looking forward to lunch. As he rummaged through his refrigerator, which has sunken through the floor and into the soil from its weight, he heard the unmistakable sounds of swish swish behind him.
Whirling around, he came face to face with one of those masked maniacs who swing from a hanging curved blade.
“Urgh, it’s you again…” Vincent grumbled.
The mental retard let out a mischievous tee hee and attempted to slice him with the blade, but Vincent was too agile for him. The cloaked man grabbed a nearby bucket of water and doused the nutcase, who ran squealing out of the room.
“Predictable as always…” Vincent smirked.
The rest of the noon was uneventful as he consumed his lunch and went on with his daily chores, which involved cleaning up a part of the house and repairing some damages.
Later in the afternoon, he was surprised by unsolicited knocking on the door.
“Yo, Vincent Valentine, you there?” a strangely familiar voice called out.
All of a sudden, the front door keeled off its hinges with a loud creak and crashed to the decomposing floor, revealing an utterly bewildered Reno of the Turks.
“You shouldn’t have knocked too hard…” Vincent murmured, rolling his eyes.
The redhead blinked several more times, and then broke into a grin. “Hey there, Valentine, long time no see!” He stepped forward and almost tripped as his foot was caught in a brand new gaping hole. “Man, this is place is SAD!”
“I hope you didn’t come here just to tell me that,” Vincent deadpanned as he resumed boarding up one of the floor holes. “Because apparently, I already know.”
Reno smirked. “Naw, I didn’t come here for that. I just came to-“
“I’m sorry, I’m not yielding the house to Shinra, dilapidated as it may be…”
Reno let out a laugh. “No, it’s that! Besides, who wants this piece of rundown estate anyway? And to hell with all those documents in the library! I hated Hojo and Sephiroth anyway. Actually, I’m here to-“
“No, I’m not giving you some food.”
“Vincent! Stop jumping to conclusions! I’m just here to pay you a friendly visit. Just to see how one of my fellow Turks is doing. And since you mentioned food, well, yeah, how about serving me some?”
Vincent looked up from his hammering to glance at Reno and shake his head. “Always the bum. I thought they paid you loads at the Neo-Shinra.”
“I spend my salary on alcohol, of course,” Reno smirked as he flopped onto one of the sofas, then sneezed as a duststorm attacked his nostrils. “Man, who cleans this place?”
Vincent narrowed his eyes. “I do.”
“Well you sure are doing a great job of it,” Reno drawled as he stood up and scrutinized the place. “A great job.”
“What do you want, Reno?” Vincent demanded, his voice stern.
“Like I said, Vince,” Reno replied. “I’m just visiting you.”
Vincent raised an inquiring eyebrow. “Why me?”
“Well, cos you’re the only one available,” Reno answered. “Rude’s all dot-dot-dotty, Tseng’s dead, Reeve’s a workaholic, Heidegger and Scarlet are NOT on my list, and Elena’s being bitchy. So, that leaves you.”
“Why me?” Vincent repeated. “Go bother Cloud or someone.”
“I don’t trust that wonky mako machine one bit,” Reno said. “And you’re the only other person left who’s had some experience with Shinra. So there! Satisfied?”
“I still don’t accept bums.”
“I’m not a bum!” Reno sputtered in indignation. “I’m just financially improvident and interpersonally dependent. And…it’s my day off.”
Vincent shook his head. “Bum,” he smirked.
Reno frowned. “Wow, I drop by to say hi after walking all the way from Neo-Midgar…and all I get is an insult?! So much for congeniality…”
Vincent raised his eyebrow. “You did not walk…”
“Yes, I did.”
“Did not.”
“Did to.”
“Did not.”
“Did to.”
“Did not.”
“How can you say that I did not?”
“Because,” Vincent replied matter-of-factly. “I heard a chopper land several minutes before you knocked on the door.”
Reno was taken aback by Vincent’s perceptiveness. “Well, you can’t be sure it was mine.”
“It was. It had a distinct whine to it, which could only be a Shinra helicopter’s.”
Reno was impressed all the more. True, Shinra helicopters had a strange noise when it’s flying, perhaps due to the mako it uses for fuel. But how did Vincent know that when mako helicopters were developed shortly after he was isolated in the mansion?
“I read books, Reno,” Vincent answered, as if reading the young Turk’s mind. “When you’re as bored as I am, you would resort to reading the books in the library. So now that I’ve proven that you didn’t walk, would you kindly leave the mansion and return to Neo-Midgar on the aforementioned helicopter?”
Reno blinked, then let out a laugh. “Aw, Vincent! Stop kidding me!”
“I’m not,” came the deadpan voice.
Reno shrugged. “Well, since you’re going to have your lunch, might as well join you.”
“I already ate.”
“Um…I’m sure you need some help with the repairs, since this house is quite rickety and decrepit…And I’ve had some Turks training.”
This time, Vincent offered no protest. After all, another pair of hands didn’t hurt.
________________________
The work was a breeze with Reno assisting him. Vincent realized that the “Turks training” Reno referred to apparently including carpentry skills, because by six o’ clock in the afternoon, most of the floor actually looked decent and sturdy. They even returned the front door to its hinges.
Reno stretched his lanky frame as he stood up from mending a hole on the floor. He yawned and glanced at his watch. “Oh my, look at the time. I guess it’s too dark for me to head back to Neo-Midgar. Might as well spend the night here.”
“Who said you could?”
Reno gave Vincent a soulful look. “Aw, Vincent! Don’t tell me you’re going to cast me out onto the streets and leave me for the monsters!”
Vincent smiled wryly. “Why not?”
Reno pouted. “Don’t be mean, Vincent. I know that under that heartless façade, you’re a nice guy underneath. Please let me stay here for the night!” He knelt in front of Vincent.
The older man sighed. “Reno, they have an Inn in Nibelheim. Why would you want to spend the night here?”
“Because in the Inn, the screen turns dark and the next thing you know, you’re standing beside the bed. That’s not my idea of sleeping.” After a pause, Reno added, “Besides, I’m broke.”
Vincent rolled his crimson eyes. “Go fight some monsters. You’re welcome down at the basement.”
“Aw, come on, Vincent!” Reno clutched at his cape.
“Please let go of my cloak. It’s the only one I have…”
Reno blinked in surprise. “You’ve been wearing this for thirty years and you’ve never washed it?! God, you must stink!”
Vincent rolled his eyes again. “Reno, I am perfectly capable of taking a bath and doing laundry, and I don’t need you to teach me how. And besides, why are you still here?”
“Vincent, please!” Reno was practically begging. “Just this once?”
Vincent pondered for a while, then said, “Fine. But by tomorrow morning, I want you out of the house. Understand?”
Reno nodded vigorously.
“Now, let go of me. I’m going to fix dinner.”
________________________
Reno meandered around the house while Vincent toiled in the kitchen. A half hour later, Vincent announced dinner, whereupon Reno rushed towards the dingy dining room.
“Finally! My first meal of the day,” Reno declared as he headed for one of the chairs.
Vincent eyed him warily as Reno pulled back the chair nearest to his. “Be careful when you sit down,” he murmured.
“No problem! I’m light as a fea-THER!” *CRASH THUD*
Vincent shook his head and smirked at the Turk who was sprawled over the debris that once belonged to a chair. “I told you.”
“God, is this dump forsaken or what?!” Reno interjected as he stood up and brushed his pants. He strode over to another chair and, after testing its sturdiness, promptly plopped down. “YAAHH!!!” *CRASH THUD* “What the hell?!”
“Only the chair I’m sitting on is sturdy enough to support a man’s weight,” Vincent chuckled.
Reno glared at him, then hopped onto the table. “Then fine, I’m sitting here then,” he announced.
“I’m not going to let you eat unless you get off the table,” Vincent threatened, putting a claw protectively over his homemade dishes. “Besides, it’s rude.”
“Fine!” Reno immediately leaped off the table. “Then, I’ll sit…here!” And with a plop, he bounced into Vincent’s wide lap.
Vincent’s eyebrow twitched uncomfortably. “Reno, please get off. I can’t eat with you on my lap,” he requested patiently.
But Reno didn’t hear any of it. “Thish shtuff ish GOOD!” he declared between mouthfuls. “You’re a good cook, Vinsh!”
“Yes, it’s just coincidental that you happened to drop by right after I learned how to cook,” Vincent remarked, rolling his eyes.
“And this cream of mushroom soup!” *SLURP SLURP* “I didn’t know edible mushrooms grew in these parts.” *SLURP SLURP* “They must have been expensive!”
Vincent smiled slightly. “Well, I grew them myself. The walls in my bedroom are literally mushroom fields…” He was given the satisfaction of hearing Reno choke. “Is something wrong, Reno?”
“ICK! They grew here?!” Reno asked in bewilderment. “And you actually eat this stuff?! ACK!” He immediately ignored the soup in favor of the mashed potatoes. “Don’t tell me…these potatoes grew here too.”
“Yes.”
“Vincent!”
“You know, Reno. I just remembered…this chair is sturdy enough to hold one person, not two.”
“Well, it’s still holding us u-UUPP!!!” *CRASH THUD*
Vincent shook his head sadly. “Now look what you did. I would have to eat on the floor from now on…So, now that you’ve ruined the chair, would you please…get…off…me.” He rolled Reno off his lap and stood up. “Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”
Reno got up from the floor and stared at him. “But the food-“
“If you don’t want to eat them, you can leave it for the monsters. Now, come on.” Vincent grabbed Reno by the arm.
“Okay, okay…but why the rush?”
“I’m going to take a bath,” Vincent replied matter-of-factly as he dragged the youth up the stairs towards the second floor.
“So? Don’t tell me you actually want me to BATHE you?!”
Vincent rolled his eyes at this. “No, because I want you to stay in your room at all times while I’m at it.”
“Why?”
Vincent paused before replying. “Because after I take a bath, I’m going to wash my clothes and leave them to dry, which means that-“
“You’ll be walking around the house NAKED?!” Reno finished, putting a hand to his mouth. “No wonder you didn’t want anyone else to live with you…”
“How smart you are, Reno,” Vincent drawled as he opened the door towards the safe room. “There’s a mattress there. Make yourself comfortable.” With that, he started to stride towards the opposite wing, where the only bathroom was.
“Wait,” Reno stopped him. “Um…can I see you naked?”
Vincent halted dead in his tracks, then slowly turned around. “Did you just express your inclination towards homosexuality to me?”
“NO! That’s not what I meant!” Reno amended, looking flustered. “It’s just that…I brought some food coloring and paper with me.”
“Food coloring…and paper???”
“Yeah,” Reno answered. “You see, I’m an artist, and I’m still learning how to paint nude. So…could you be my model?” He looked up at Vincent with hopeful eyes.
“Let me get this straight. You…want to paint me…in the nude…with food coloring…”
“Food coloring is my favorite medium,” Reno informed him.
“Because it has the word ‘food’ in it?” Vincent mocked.
“Very funny. Now if you would kindly take off your clothes and pose here…it would be just perfect.”
Vincent raised both of his palms in front of him. “Whoa, wait a minute. You’re being too optimistic. I didn’t say yes, and I don’t think I ever will. Did you take me for someone who would admit bums into his house, give them food and shelter, and let them paint him in the nude?”
“Yeah.”
“Go back to your room, Reno,” Vincent said sternly as he turned towards the bathroom. “Be grateful I didn’t kill you yet.”
Reno crossed his arms and slammed the door behind him, causing several wooden chinks to fall from the ceiling.
________________________
With a relieved sigh, Vincent began to slip off his clothes, laying them in a basin of water and detergent on the sink. He leaned forward to turn on the shower faucet, and then slid into the tub. Lying down, his head resting on the edge of the tub, Vincent began to contemplate on his sinful life while the water level slowly rose.
For several months after Lucrecia’s death, Vincent had sought for a way to avenge her. Killing Hojo simply did not give him the satisfaction he yearned, and until now, he wondered why. Even saving the world from the clutches of the evil megalomaniac named Sephiroth did not amend his situation. Instead, it added more weight to the burden that he carried on his tortured soul.
Perhaps it was Sephiroth, Vincent pondered, his eyes cast towards the ceiling. Maybe we shouldn’t have killed him. I should have redeemed him from his sinful exploits. I should have released him from Jenova’s suffocating clutches. I should have let him reconcile and return to being the man he was before. The real Sephiroth.
But it’s too late now. He’s dead, and at this moment, he is paying for his sins in the lifestream by spending an eternity in solitude, shame and scorn. The Planet hates him for what he has done, but it never was his fault. It was mine. By yielding my darling Lucrecia to that madman Hojo, I almost let the world plunge to its miserable death. It was all my fault…
A deafening creak snapped Vincent out of his thoughts. It was a strangely familiar creak, like the sound of rotting wood about to break.
And as Vincent continued to stare up at the ceiling, he wondered why everything suddenly zoomed out, and he found himself gazing from the bottom of a large, long well.
All these he wondered the split second before he banged the back of his head on the tub and slipped into unconsciousness.
________________________
For several seconds, Reno wondered what that thunderous crash was. It sounded as if it came from the east wing, where Vincent was…Could it be…?
Reno paced around the room for a while, pondering on whether or not he would check up on Vincent. As he recalled, the older man had clearly stated, no, commanded that the Turk should stay in his room. He could still remember the murderous glare that Vincent threw him.
On the other hand, since when did Reno follow rules? Other than his Turk missions, Reno was practically a rebel without a cause, defying every known law that existed, except for the ones in science. Hell, they should put him in Shinra Book of World Records or something. So, why was he hesitating now? For all he knew, Vincent might be in trouble this very moment.
Or…he could be walking around naked.
Carelessly shrugging his shoulders, Reno strode out of his room and crossed the threshold towards the east wing. What he found there wasn’t what he had expected. In the guestroom was a huge gaping hole where the tub once stood.
Peering cautiously over the edge, Reno struggled to make out the bottom of what seemed to be a well-like structure. Only bigger.
“HELLOOOOO!!!” Reno called out. “VINCENT! ARE YOU THEEERE???”
Silence.
Reno reached to one single conclusion: The floor underneath the tub had given way, and right now, Vincent was lying down there, with his neck broken…dead.
Or not.
Reno instantly rushed to the next room, where he recalled a secret door into the basement. Sliding open the stone “chimney”, he dashed down the wooden planks that served as stairs, only to find out that half of them were missing.
He stopped in front of a five-plank gap, wondering whether he could make it or not. Being a Turk, he figured he might, but the problem lay in climbing out. He’d have to think of something.
Unfortunately, all that weight on a single, rotting plank caused it to give out, and Reno soon found himself in the air…falling.
“AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!” he cried as his hands reached out to grab anything, anything at all.
He caught a few planks, slowing down his descent somewhat, but a split second later, it would give way, and he would fall again. In the last few meters, however, he grasped a sturdy one, and he clutched on for dear life, praying that it would remain on its perch for some time.
After a few uneventful seconds, Reno let out the breath he was holding. Good. He was still alive. And wet, he noticed vaguely. He looked up and saw that the shower above him was still running. Vincent must have left it open before he fell.
As soon as Vincent’s name crossed his mind, he glanced down, hoping to catch a glimpse of the possibly dead ex-Turk.
The sight of an unclothed man in a tub right below him was too much for Reno, and he lurched, causing the plank he was gripping to crack…and then break off.
“WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”
________________________
“OOOF!” Vincent felt his head spin as the breath was knocked out of him again, but fortunately, he didn’t faint. Instead, he felt as if his body had turned to mush.
His eyes slowly focusing, he realized that someone was weighing him down, almost drowning him. In fact, the water level tickled his nostrils.
Summoning his strength, he shoved the body away from him, and realized in horror that he was naked. His memory suddenly caught up with him, and he glanced up, the ceiling a great distance away from where he was.
“Urgh, $#!^! That #@%$^ hurt a lot,” the figure in front of him cursed.
Vincent focused back on the person with him in the tub. “Reno?!”
Reno gazed at him. “Vincent?! You’re still alive?! Man, I thought you died!” He attempted to glomp the older man, but Vincent held him off and drew his own legs towards him.
“No contact, please,” Vincent said, clutching his knees. “This is humiliating…More nightmares shall come to me.”
“Now don’t say this is all my fault,” Reno told him as the Turk climbed out. “I wasn’t there.”
Vincent looked up wistfully. “At least there’s still light,” he remarked. “We don’t have to wander around in the dark.”
A low growl alerted both men. “What was that?” Reno demanded, whipping out his trusty electromag rod.
“Sounds like a YinYang to me,” Vincent answered, recognizing the all too familiar sound.
Sure enough, a zombie-like monster with two heads stepped into the light. It grinned leeringly at them, then sauntered towards Vincent.
“Get away, you $#@^&* abomination!” Reno leaped forward and thrust the rod at the creature, pressing the electrocute button.
A thin crackle of electricity emanated from the tip, then died.
“What the hell?!” Reno exclaimed. “I thought I charged it!”
“It must have short-circuited when you landed on the tub,” Vincent said, slinking towards the far side of the tub and keeping his gaze at the approaching YinYang.
“Then I’ll just whack it to death,” Reno declared, proceeding to do so.
The YinYang was unfazed by Reno’s offensive attempts, and instead scuttled towards Vincent. The man watched in astonishment and disgust as the monster glomped his arm and began rubbing its two faces on it. Even Reno stopped to look.
“Uh…I think it likes you, man,” Reno stated.
“In contrast to the madman upstairs,” Vincent said, struggling to hold in his bile. “This monster likes water…”
The YinYang climbed into the tub with Vincent.
“Ugh…Vincent, I think you should get out of the tub,” Reno advised.
“Lend me your blazer, then,” Vincent ordered.
Reno shrugged off his blazer and tossed it to Vincent, who promptly wrapped it around his waist ala g-string while the monster was preoccupied with splashing its mutated hands about in the water.
Vincent jumped out of the tub and stood beside Reno in a battle stance.
However, the YinYang didn’t feel like fighting, and instead, climbed out of the tub and ran off into the darkness.
“Good,” Vincent breathed in relief. “Battling naked is just not my style.”
Reno walked towards the basement opening and studied his surroundings. “Based on my judgment, I don’t think we can reach the nearest plank even if we stood on top of each other. The only way to get out of here is to either scale the walls or fly. The former is impossible however, as the walls are slick with water and too smooth.”
“I could morph into Chaos and get us out of here…”
Reno looked at him skeptically. “Why do I sense a ‘but’?”
Vincent shook his head. “But my limit gauge is too low. And besides, I might kill you in my berserk form. Chaos still remembers you as one of the enemies.”
“Too bad,” Reno sighed. “I was just about to suggest that I beat you senseless until you reach your limit break.” He grinned wryly.
“Funny, Reno,” Vincent deadpanned. “Anyway, let’s-“ He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the previous YinYang fiddling with the basement light socket. “Oh $#!^…Reno, stop it!” he yelled.
Before Reno could even take a step forward, the YinYang plugged its damp finger into the socket, instantly convulsing as electricity crackled through its entire body.
Vincent promptly picked up a large rock and hurtled it in the direction of the YinYang, which immediately keeled over from the impact and released its finger. At that moment, the whole house was plunged into darkness.
“Damn, it short-circuited the power system,” Vincent muttered in the obscurity. “I was trying to avoid that.”
“Don’t worry about me,” Reno piped up, feeling his way towards where he last saw Vincent standing. “I’m not scared of the dark.”
“Yes, but we won’t be able to see any more monsters which might attack us,” Vincent said. “And that leaves us at a disadvantage. We’re as good as blind warriors. It would be best if we hide in the coffin room. Come.” With that, he grabbed Reno’s wrist and led the younger man down the path.
A few moments later, Reno heard the sound of an opening door, and he was jerked sharply to the left. Whoa, Vincent must have memorized this house from top to bottom.
Strangely enough, the room was glowing in an unearthly bluish light. “Uh…Vincent? What’s with the-?”
“Glowworms,” Vincent put in as he closed the door behind him. “We’re quite fortunate.”
Vincent released his grip on Reno and surged into the room, checking the place for any monsters. Finding none, he turned back to Reno, he said, “Well, pick a coffin.”
Reno blinked at him. “Did I hear you right? Did you just say, ‘Pick a coffin’?”
Vincent strode towards one of the coffins and lay down, setting his palms underneath his head. “We can’t do anything right now. Might as well sleep through it. In the morning, when there’s light, we’ll think of a way to get out of here.”
Reno saw the wisdom in his words and shrugged, walking towards another empty coffin. Boy, the place stank so much of must that he knew he couldn’t sleep through it so easily.
His predictions were wrong, however, as he turned on his side a few minutes later and allowed sleep to overcome him…