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Doctors in China operated this week to remove a man's two extra tongues. Xian Shihua was born with only one tongue, but grew another when he was five years old, then a third, the longest of which was 13 inches... Xian is doing fine, but his girlfriend is devastated...
It's now legal in West Virginia to hunt with your car. The legislature has passed a law making it legal for motorists in that state to eat most anything they hit while driving. If drivers "can be encouraged to eat their own road kill," say proponents of the new law, the state will save money on carcass removal... let's go for a ride, I'm starved...
Police say Ronnie Bell intended to rob the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank. How do they know? It was all there in his note. "This is a bank robbery of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas, Texas," it read. "Give me all the money. Thank you, Ronnie Darnell Bell..."
Tellers at the Marine Midland Bank couldn't decipher the handwriting of a man who passed them a note. By the time they figured out that the message said, "I've got a gun," the would-be robber, who was wearing a plastic bag over his head as a disguise, had walked away... he was probably running out of air...
On a stakeout in Queens, New York, U.S. Marshal William Cannon shot and wounded a high school student, apparently mistaking the foil-wrapped Three Musketeers candy bar he was carrying for a semi-automatic pistol... it's loaded with chocolate...
When the mayoral election in Estancia, New Mexico ended in a tie, the two candidates did the only sensible thing. They settled the election with a game of poker... this one simple idea could revolutionize our political system...
Dennis Kumchak, a New York Landlord, has been arrested for breaking and urinating. A tenant in the building told police she suspected someone of breaking in to her apartment. She set up a video camera, and allegedly caught Kumchak on tape removing cartons of Chinese food from her refrigerator, urinating in them, and putting them back... we makee special wonton for you...
A man wearing only a towel around his waist drove his Pontiac Bonneville full speed down taxiway A at the Allegheny County Airport, got airborne off an 80-foot cliff, and flew about a hundred yards before crash-landing... I can fly! No, wait...
Glenn Payne, a Virginia chiropractor, was found guilty of malpractice and fined $140,000 for claiming that he could cure his female assistant's constipation by rubbing her pubic area... his name alone scares me...
Nigel Wesson, a newcomer to the circus business in Heythrop, England, "departed from the normal procedure" of feeding a 500 lb. Bengal tiger with a long stick. The tiger chewed his hand off and ate it. When hospital workers asked if he had any allergies, Wesson replied, "Only tigers..."
In a related story, the brother of Alabama abortion clinic bombing suspect Eric Rudolph cut off his own hand with a circular saw, and sent a videotape of the amputation to the FBI. Authorities refused to comment on speculation that the incident was connected to imagery in Bible verses...
Richard Josephson, a passenger on a USAirways flight to Los Angeles, joked to a flight attendant to be careful with his carry-on luggage, because "that's where I keep my pipe bombs." Josephson then took some sleeping pills. When the crew could not wake him, the plane was forced to make an emergency landing. Josephson was sentenced to 6 months in prison, and a $40,653 fine...
Really bad pickup techniques: on a Japan Airlines flight to Tokyo, Jiro Zennyoji repeatedly asked a woman passenger for her telephone number. After several refusals, he bit her on the arm... I distinctly heard her say "Bite me..."
When James Ransom of Bedford, Virginia was pulled over for a moving violation, he jumped out of his car, flailing his arms and clutching at his throat. Sheriff's Deputy Irvin Pagan realized Ransom was choking, and performed the Heimlich manuever to dislodge an antacid tablet... they fall for this one every time...
Cruel and unmusical punishment: Julian Aldarondo was arrested by police for allegedly stealing a ginger pecan cookie from an Oakland, California cafe. Aldarando has filed a complaint with the Police Review Board, claiming that he was handcuffed and forced to listen to a policeman sing two verses of Rupert Holmes' "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)..."
Our Product of the Week Award goes to the New York-based gourmet food shop Dean & DeLuca, which introduced 4-inch gingerbread cookies in the shape of Monica Lewinsky...
Police raided a motel in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and found a dozen high school band students blindfolded and handcuffed. Officers arrested three men whom they say were taking pictures of the students in provocative poses with an inflatable sheep...
Men, forget all those expensive colognes with exotic names. If you really want to excite a woman, claims Chicago neurologist and researcher Alan Hirsch, try baby powder. In a study of arousal in 30 women subjects, the aroma of baby powder was the second-most stimulating scent tested, exceeded only by "a combination of cucumber and Good & Plenty licorice candy..."
A district court in southern Sweden fined Elizabeth Hallin $680 for naming her 5-year-old son Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116." The name, says Ms. Hallin, is pronounced "Albin..."
That's Bizarre!, and remember, it's all true...
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