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Two goths are walking down the road, one says "I just bought the new Love Like Blood CD." The other says "F_ck me, a talking goth!"
How do you get a goth out of a tree? Cut the rope!
Theres a goth walking down the road with a rat on his shoulder. An old lady walks past, stops, stares at the two and says "Yeuk! What are you doing with that revolting creature?" "Squeak squeak squeak!" says the rat.
What do you store with your heavy velvet cape in for the summer? Goth balls.
Why is it so hard for goths to get work? Because all they can do is mope the floors and depress the buttons.
What did the vampire say when he looked in the mirror? "So nice not to see you again"
Wayne Hussey dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, he meets up with Gabriel who gives him the grand tour of heaven. While touring he sees many familiar faces including Jimi Hendrix, Ian Curtis, Mary Shelly, and of course Nick Fiend kinda shows up once in a while... And then he sees Andrew Eldritch Sitting on a HUUUGE throne.. Wayne Says to Gabriel "I didn't know Andrew was dead!" Gabriel replies, "Oh, that's God (tm) He only thinks he's Andrew."
"Waiter! Waiter! There's a dead squid in my soup!" "It's not dead, Sir, it's just dreaming."
What do you get when you cross Lee Iococca with a vampire? AUTOEXEC.BAT
How many fratboys does it take to wallpaper a room? That depends on how thinly you slice them.
How many goths does it take to make cheesecake? None, there are no goths in cheesecake.
Old goths don't die, they just need less makeup.
Why did the goth cross the road? It didn't, it was dead.
"Say, who was that *goth* I saw you with last night?" "*That* was no *goth*! I'm a *necrophiliac*!"
What happens if you don't pay the exorcist? You get repossessed.
How does a perky goth paint his ceiling black? He dyes his hair and starts bouncing.
What do you get if you cross a goth and a toilet? The cisterns of mercy.
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And now, the seemingly unending list of lightbulb jokes:
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? What's a lightbulb?
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? Three, one to change it and two to talk about Lord Byron's Grand Tour and creative uses of laudinum in a metaphysical environment.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? None, but one has to light the candle.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just embrace the darkness.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to replace the UV tube, and one to put Floodland on.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change it for a purple bulb and one to plug the smoke machine in.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? Six. One to change the bulb, five to scream "Turn that bloody light off!"
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? Dunno, but I see them all practicing at Slimelight, while dancing to the Sisters. They raise their arms in a stretching way towards the ceiling, twisting their wrists and returning their arm to their midriff, while walking backwards and swaying in the murky darkness.
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb, and another to curse the first for putting a glare on the terminal screen while the second was reading alt.gothic.
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