BadQuotes

HELEN STEWART
SERIES 1

Oh for God's sake Nikki!

If I didn't feel the way I do

She had internal bruising consistant with a blow of
some sort. Another little kick maybe?

I won't tell if you won't

Oh you just love playing the martyr don't you Nikki?

Why don't you just grow up and stop all this macho crap?

This is hard for me as well you know

What the hell's she doing in strips?

I know you're a lesbian and you're happy and sorted with
that. But I'm a heterosexual

I'm getting it from all sides Nikki, you know. From above
and below ... and it would be so much easier to just give in

SERIES 2

Shit happens

This is an extremely serious allegation

I love you Nikki

You are completely mad!

Is that what you are ... cold blooded killer?

I'm sticking my neck out here Nikki

Oh, not entirely. But then there's no reason I should
have anything to do with you at all, is there Jim?

Nikki, I am a member of the Home Office. Do you have any idea?

No, no, no. It's not, don't even think about this, this is not an option

I'm not your gaoler anymore which means I can do this ....

It's alright sweetheart, I'm here

Morning Jim

I'm sorry sweetheart. It is bad news

Nikki! What the f.....

NIKKI WADE
SERIES 1

Piss off Dockley

Being disrespectful to the Wing
Governor...by kissing her

You're gorgeous

Who do you think I am? Head bloody prefect?

Oh wow. Are you both for me?

Don't hurt ya brain Dockley

SERIES 2

It's a piss off like I told that other tart

You're not normal, you're not abnormal, you're just you...
you do what you want to do

Piss off you two-faced tart

Tell me you love me

Why don't you just do what you want to do
and come over here and stick your tongue
down my throat!

Why don't you go in there and give her a hand sir?

We've got a whole night together

I'm not gonna get caught

When I thought I'd pissed you off, I didn't know how I could live

I want to make love to you all night long. Is that serious enough?

I'm fine. I'm bloody marvellous stuck in here 24 hours a day.

HELEN STEWART / NIKKI WADE
SERIES 1

H: Sit down in that chair!
N: Don't you wish it was electric?

H: Why did you do it Nikki?
N: I dunno. A touch of PMT!

SERIES 2

H: You're not gonna give up?
N: No way
H: Good, because neither am I

H: I'm going to find something to get you out of here
N: What like? A magic key?

N: I need to know you're not just going through the motions
H: Don't worry, I'm not

SHELL DOCKLEY
SERIES 1
Love you Den

Pity Rachel didn't listen to you Nikki. No good thinking
the screws are gonna look after you. Still look on the
bright side, at least there's an extra helping today.

What's she got that we haven't? Mink instead of beaver?

I fixed Lorna Rose and I can fix you an' all

SERIES 2

Oh excuse me while I shit myself

What's it like to be thick as pigshit Denny?

My dressing gown just slipped off. It's not a crime
to have a slippy dressing gown is it?

I just thought I'd give you a personal welcome, seein'
as you're my personal officer

Not interested in all that God bollocks stuff

Yeah, and she did this to me an' all