BadQuotes2

NIKKI WADE / SYLVIA HOLLAMBY
SERIES 2

H: Come on then girls, let's be havin' you
N: In your dreams love

KAREN BETTS
SERIES 2

Am I talking sense or a load of bollocks?

2 JULIES
SERIES 1

Well, I thought we could come out here
and take it in turns to hug it

She's alright that Crystal, but she can't
half bang her tambourine

Do you wanna hear the latest number from
the two Julies?

SERIES 2

Bloody rubbish place this is. Bodybag and Fenner, who'll give
me a tenner to wipe em out?

DENNY BLOOD
SERIES 1

Look alls I did was give 'er one little kick!

Screw you sister!

See, that's why I won't have anything to do with me,
they're shit, just shit

Luv ya Shell, miss ya

Wimps!

Look, I'll tell you one last time. Stop crying.
It's getting on my nerves!

Who messes with Shell, messes with me

Nobody crosses Shell Dockley and lives

You have a stab Shell, I've got shaky hands

Rachel! This is a pleasant surprise,
make yourself at home

Your drawing made her do it. She thought you wanted
to cut her head off!

I only gave her a kick, that's not bullying, that's just
a kick, a small kick

Oi, posh bitch

SERIES 2

Sod off then, I don't give a shit

You're cool babe. I love ya!

What the hell do you think you're doin?

She deserved all she got. She was an evil bitch

Don't wanna get out of here without you Shaz

No. To make a cup of tea. Bitch

She never did it you dickhead

DENNY BLOOD / JESSIE DEVLIN
SERIES 2

J: You always were nothing but bloody trouble.
I never wanted you in the first place.
D: Please stop it Mum

D: I went to the hospital
J: Oh they won't give you a fag, you can't have a drink
D: You ain't supposed to be drinking

JESSIE DEVLIN
SERIES 2

Why don't you piss off back to your cell?

DENNY BLOOD / DI BARKER
SERIES 2

Di: Ahh, I've got to get you back to Larkhall for tea.
D: Then you're gonna have to drag me along the ground,
int ya miss?

DENNY BLOOD / RENEE WILLIAMS
SERIES 2

D: Shittin' bitch
R: Which bitch is shittin' now?

JIM FENNER
SERIES 1

Shut it Wade or you'll be
shagging the end of my boot

Drugs free piss is a saleable item

I've heard it all now. Sod the rules cos some
lesbian's gone and dumped her girlfriend

Why would I wanna shag you? Christ, just look
at yourself

SERIES 2

Go back yourself up

Looks like she won't be getting it up for you love!

Admit it Sylvia. You've been a stupid bitch.

CRYSTAL GORDON
SERIES 1

This place is a circus and
you lot are the clowns

Will you two be so hot for each other when you're
burnin' in hell?

If the papers knew what was going on in here
there'd be a scandal

SERIES 2

She didn't deserve to live, she stole my hair oil.

Every girl on G-Wing had a motive

SHAZ WYLIE
SERIES 2

Triple murder. Wanna break?

MONICA LINDSEY
SERIES 1

Oooh and curtains as well,
I must have been such a good girl

SYLVIA HOLLAMBY
SERIES 1

I wouldn't try your attention seeking in here, I
don't think Denny would appreciate it

My Bobby's doing his meatballs for tea.
I've been salivering all day

When God was handing out singing voices to
your people, you were nowhere to be found

As if it's the highlight of my day to peer up
women's smelly bottoms

Not smelly Nelly Snape!

SERIES 2

Welcome to the madhouse

Oooh, can we have a murder everyday?

Happiness is door shaped

She's taking forever. Must have the world falling
out of her bottom

Zandra Plackett's got more junk in her than
Steptoe's back yard

What about my pension?

Oh no Ma'am

She'll be out of the uniform and into a suit quicker than Clark Kent

SIMON STUBBERFIELD
SERIES 1

This is a disaster for Larkhall,
if you hadn't noticed

HELEN STEWART / SIMON STUBBERFIELD
SERIES 2

S: Can I remind you that I am in charge
in Larkhall, whether you like it or not.
H: Well I don't like it! I don't like it one bit!