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52 - Alee
the Persian
It is
said that the Caliph Haaroon al-Rasheed was restless one night, he could
not sleep, so he sent for his Vazeer Zaafar and asked him to entertain him
so that he could sleep. Zaafar said - "My Lord, I have a friend named
Alee the Persian who knows a lots of stories to entertain." The Caliph
said - "Then fetch him soon." The Vazeer immediately went there
and fetched him to the Caliph. The Caliph said - "I am unable to
sleep, and I have heard that you have a huge store of tales and anecdotes.
So tell me them to lighten my heart." Alee asked - "My Lord,
Shall I tell you what I have seen, or what I have heard?"
"Whatever you think is worth telling me, tell me that."
Alee
said - "Lord, What happened once that, some years ago, I left this
city of Bagadaad on a journey with a boy who carried a light leather bag.
We came to a certain city. And as I was buying and selling
things there, a Kurd felled on me, seized my wallet and said "This is
my bag and all whatever is in that bag is my property." At this I
cried, "Please help me, free me from this rascal." But the folk
said - "Come to Qaazee, he will judge you and you will abide with his
judgment."
We
both went to Qaazee. The Qaazee asked us, "Why have you come
here?" I said - "We have some quarrel and need your
judgment." He asked - "Who is complaining?" The Kurd came
forward and spoke - "This bag is my bag and all that is in this is
mine." The Qaazee asked him - "When did you loose it?" The
Kurd replied - "Only yesterday. I could not sleep the whole night
because of this." The Qaazee asked - "What is your
bag?"
The
Kurd replied - "Two silver styles for eye-powders, and antimony for
the eyes, a kerchief for the hands, two gilt cups, two candlesticks, two
tents, two platters, two spoons, one cushion, two leather rugs, a brass
tray, two basins, a cooking pot, two water jars, a ladle, a sacking
needle, a she-cat and two bitches, two sacks, two saddles, a gown, two fur
clothes, a cow, two calves, a she-goat, two sheep, two lambs, two green
pavilions, a camel, two she-camels, a lioness, two lions, a she-bear, two
jackals, a mattress, two sofas, an upper chamber, two saloons, a portico,
two sitting rooms, a kitchen with two doors and a company of Kurds who
will witness that this is my bag."
Then
the Qaazee asked me - "What do you say?" I was surprised at
Kurd's speech, but I said politely - "Lord Qaazee, I have only a
ruined apartment and another without a door, a dog-house, a boy's school,
youths playing dice, tents, tent ropes, city of Basaraa and Bagadaad, the
palace of Shaddad bin Ad, an ironsmith's workshop, a fishing net, pickets,
girls, boys, a 1,000 pimps who will testify that it is my bag."
When
the Kurd heard this, he wept - "O Qaazee, This my bag is known, and
its contents are also renowned, for in this bag there will be castles and
citadels, cranes and beasts of prey and men playing chess and draughts.
Furthermore in this bag are a brood-mare, two colts, a stallion, two
blood-steeds, two long lances, a lion, two hares and a city and two
villages, a whore, two gallows-birds, a blind man, two witches with good
sight, a limping cripple, two lamenters, a Christian ecclesiastic, two
deacons, a patriarch, two monks, a Qaazee, two assessors who will
witness that this bag is my bag."
Then
Qaazee asked me - "What you have to say in this regard?" I
filled with rage and said - "O Qaazee, I have in this bag a coat of
mail, a broadsword, a 1,000 of fighting rams, a sheep-fold, with its
pastures, a 1,000 barking dogs, gardens, vines, flowers, sweet smelling
herbs, figs, apples, statues, singing women, marriage feasts, tracts of
land, a company of daybreak-raiders with swords and spears and bows and
arrows, men imprisoned for punishment, a drum, flutes, flags and banners,
brides and singing girls, five Abyssinian women, three Hindoo maidens,
four girls of Al-Madeenaa, a score of Greek girls, 80 Kurdish girls, 70
Georgian ladies, Tigris and Euphrates Rivers, a fowling net, a
flint, a steel and multi-colored Iraam, a 1,000 rogues and pimps, horse
courses, stables, mosques, baths, builders, a carpenter, a plank, a
nail, a black slave, a captain, a caravan leader, towns and cities,
100,000 Deenaar, Koofaa and Anbar cities, 20 chests full of stuffs, 20
storehouses, the palace of Kisaraa Anushirvaan, the Kingdom of Solomon,
land from India to Sudan, doublets, clothes, a 1,000 sharp razors to shave
off Qaazee's beard if he does not accept that this is my bag."
Hearing
us both, which confounded the Qaazee, he said - "I can see that you
two are poisonous fellows, atheistic villains who make sport of Qaazees
and magistrates and do not fear from anybody. By Allaah, from China to
Shajarat, nor from Faars to Sudan nor from Wadi Noomaan to Khorasan, was
ever heard the things you told me. Is this bag a bottomless sea or the Day of
Resurrection that shall gather together the just and unjust?" Then
the Qaazee asked us to open the bag. I opened the bag. It contained bread,
a lemon, cheese, and olives. So I threw the bag down before the Kurd.
When
the Caliph heard this tale, he laughed till he fell on his back and made
him a handsome present.
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