56 - The
Two Lack-Tacts of Cairo and Damascus
There
lived a man who was famous as Lack-tact, in Cairo; and another one in Damascus
for the same quality. Each heard of his competitor and longed to be together.
The people of the Syria (Damascus), told him that the Lack-tact from Cairo was
sharper, more intelligent than him; also he was excellent in debates also.
At this the Damascus Lack-tact would reply - "I am more intelligent
than him." When his people continued to talk to him like this, one
day he cried - "I will have to go there (Cairo) and see him
myself."
So he
went to Cairo from Damascus non-stop. When he reached Cairo, the Sun was
going to set, and the first man he met was a woman. He asked her about a
highway of the city and she replied - "What kind of Lack-tact are you
who is asking such a question? Who ever comes to a strange place in the
morning, only he enquires abut the highways; but who arrives in the
evening, he asks only about the Saraaya (an inn) to stay in the night." He
said - "You are right. My lack of tact has weakened my mind."
Then he asked about Khaans and spent the night there.
In the
morning he wandered on the roads of Cairo in search of Lack-tact. When he
had got his address he went to him. The Cairo Lack-tact received him with
a great honor and they talked for some time about the world. Then the
Damascus one said to the Cairo one - "I think we should test each
other's quality by playing a prank in turn, and whoever will be preferred
by people, he will be a winner." The Cairo one asked - "Who will
begin?" The Damascus one said - "I". "Sure."
So the
Syrian went forth and hired him an ass and drove him to a nearby Ausaj
bushes, cut down a donkey-load, set it on the donkey's back and returned
to the city. He then proceeded towards the gate of Bab al-Nasra, but he
could not enter it because there was a lot of crowd; and the Cairo people were
enjoying. The Syrian had to stop there till the morning was near, he had
lost his temper and drove the ass close up to the gate. In doing this, the
clothes of the people around were torn to rags as they were caught by the
Ausaj thorns, so some of the people beat him, some of them shoved him
saying - "What kind of Lack-tact you are? You have torn our clothes
by these thorns."
Still
he drove his donkey onward and people there cried to him - "O Man,
Move from here. Passengers are all jammed here because of you." He
would not move and people dealt with him more blows and abuse. At this he
cried - "Let me pass through." and continued pushing through. He
got a severer beating. This lasted till mid-afternoon and he could not
enter the gate by any way. After that the crowd thinned a little bit and
then only he could pass the gate. At this the Cairo one asked him - "What is
this you have done? This is mere rough game, this is not lack of
tact."
Now,
the next morning, the Cairo one was required to play prank as the Damascus
one did. He girdled his loins and tucked up his sleeves, took up a tray
saying to the Syrian - "Come after me and see what do I do."
Then he went out, tray on his head, to a flower garden. He gathered a
bundle of blooms and sweet herbs, pinks and roses, basil and Marjoram
until the tray was filled with them; then he returned to the town.
About
noon time, he went to a Cathedral-mosque and entered the toilet, where
some 15 toilets were there. He stood near the door. Whenever a man came to
use the toilet, he gave him a sweet smelled herb saying, "For you,
Sir." And the man would shout at him - "Are we here for toilet
or for a feast?" And all standing there laughed at him. Suddenly one
rushed into the toilet sore pressed. The Cairo one asked him also - "Bismillaah,
Take it and do the favor to me." He also got angry and said to him -
"What a Lack-tact are you? I have to go, get out." The man
requested him to take it and smelled it.
Now at
that time all the toilets were full, and that man was expecting somebody
to come out so that he could go, but it did not happen like this, so his
urine flowed through his trousers. The man got very unhappy and sat there
uneasy. The standing people seeing him in this condition laughed at him.
The Cairo one still continued to offer his herb to him. He shouted -
"Am I here for toilet or for a feast?"
At
this the Lack-tact from Damascus turned to his rival and cried - "The
Faatihaa is in your books, O Joker of Cairo. By Allaah, You have excelled
me in everything."
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