Need a counter?
Not satisfied with the public counter?
HTML is still an obscure language to you?
Maybe you think that an applet is a fruit, perl is a jewel and cgi-bin is a Chinese dish?
Anxious to show to your friends how successful your homepage is?
If so..
Fake Counter®© Homepage
In my native country, Italy, land of creativity and ingenious cheating, when you can't get something, you just pretend that you have it. Especially when the item is a status-symbol, like a counter in your page.
So, if you want a counter and you don't know how to get it, or if you do have a counter, but you have a shamefully low number of hits, I'll make a counter for you!
Instead of a real counter, why not putting in your page a GIF simulating it? Yes, the number is always the same, but who will notice it? Most people who randomly navigate through the net hit a page just once in their life, and even if they hit it twice, they generally don't remember what the count was last time.
You can even replace constantly the counter, showing thus proudly how successful your glorious homepage is!
The only limit is fantasy
You've seen those counters around, they're not very fancy, are they?
From now, you can find the counter of your dreams at this site.
But, seriously, do you really care for the number of visitors at your website? Well, unless you see things with..
.. sense of business
Congratulations, you've read so far, and now you are ready to discover the business of the year.
All you have to do is to put on your page a Fake Counter®© with an enormous number of hits, then you phone the boss of your favorite multinational and you tell him: "Hi, Uncle Scrooge, would you like to log in my homepage? Seen how many zillion people I have on my counter? Now, I'm willing to give you an ad space for the ridiculous sum of $1,000,000,000,000."
Nice, isn't it? (I don't know why I'm suggesting you folks this wonderful idea, I might have kept it for myself).
P.S.: For you, who lack sense of humour: yes, this is immoral and illegal, but on the Net we're free, right?
Huh, terrific, but.. how much doe$ it co$t?
Now you'll expect me to ask you a lot of money to provide a Fake Counter®©. You're wrong, it's free!
Once upon a time I made counters on order; alas, those happy times are over. I am too busy to cope with all the requests I get. But you can still do three things:
- Go to my Counter Gallery and steal the counter(s) you like.
- Send me e-mail to thank me for the wonderful job I'm doing for the Web.
I don't want money for this, but I ask you to make a free offer to
Unicef 
(you know, we have little children and we aren't very rich...)
If you don't know how to find the closest Unicef office, you can email some national representatives.
- If you really have a smart idea for a new counter and you cannot find it in the Counter Gallery (almost impossible, but..), let me know. If I like the idea, I might make the counter and send it to you. Please allow some time for the realization of your order; I'm a biologist, not a software developer! Thank you!
34,612 times in 1998
38,593 times in 1997
and innumerable times before that.
(I mean, seriously!!)
Comments and Suggestions
Thanx to
Free thinker
Geocities' Free WebPages!!
The Fake Counter®©
was created by
Molecular Geneticist
