BOBBIT VIRUS
 Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it.
 (But that part will never work again.)
 
 OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
 Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then
 slowly expands back to 200MB.
 
 AT&T VIRUS
 Every three minutes it tells you what great service you 
 are getting.
 
 MCI VIRUS
 Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
 much for the AT&T virus.
 
 PAUL REVERE VIRUS
 This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns 
 you of impending hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice 
 if by C/:
 
 POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
 Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself
 as an"electronic microorganism."
 
 RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS
 Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it 
 is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first
 see a counselor about possible alternatives.
 
 ROSS PEROT VIRUS
 Activates every component in your system, just before the
 whole damn thing quits.
 
 MARIO CUOMO VIRUS
 It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
 
 TED TURNER VIRUS
 Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

 ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
 Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
 
 DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #1
 Prevents your system from spawning any child process without
 joining into a binary network.
 
 DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2
 Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant 
 figyour out watt!
 
 GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS
 Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says 
 everything is fine.
 
 NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS
 Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad 
 just thinking about it.
 
 FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
 Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each 
 of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim 
 to be the most important part of your computer.

 
 GALLUP VIRUS
 Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
 their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent
 margin or error).
 
 TEXAS VIRUS
 Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
 
 ADAM AND EVE VIRUS
 Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.
 
 CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #1
 The computer locks up, screens splits erratically with a 
 message appearing on each half blaming the other side for 
 the problem.
 
 CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2
 Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but
 doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything..
 
 AIRLINE VIRUS
 You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
 
 FREUDIAN VIRUS
 Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
 motherboard.

 
 PBS VIRUS
 Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
 
 ELVIS VIRUS
 Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-destructs
 -- only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
 across rural America.
 
 OLLIE NORTH VIRUS
 Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
 
 SEARS VIRUS
 Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply
 and a set of shocks.
 
 JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS
 Your programs can never be found again.
 
 KEVORKIAN VIRUS
 Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
 
 IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS
 Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot-up, then subtracts
 money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive
 shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
 
 STAR TREK VIRUS
 Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
 
 HEALTH CARE VIRUS
 Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends 
 you a bill for $4,500.
 
 GEORGE BUSH VIRUS
 It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs ... no new files!" 
 on the screen.
 It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive 
 with new files, then blames it on the congressional Virus.
 
 NEW YORK JETS VIRUS
 Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
 
 LAPD VIRUS
 It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC 
 and erases them in "self-defense."
 
 CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS
 Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the 
 reviews, but loves it.
 
 
 O.J. VIRUS
 It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete
 two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.
 
 Michael Jackson VIRUS
 Your screen turns black then, all of a sudden, white.

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