GENOCIDE

In the beginning, a spirit ascended upon a barren planet. As its cloud like form soared above the rugged desolate terrain, it noticed life.. The spirit descended to the life form. Slowly the spirit began to take solid form. It became a short overweight male human.

"This planet is too dull. It needs water, oceans, and lakes," said the spirit as he looked around him, and they appeared, filling the deepest crevasses first. "Now fields," and they also appeared.

For three days the spirit rested, during which time he named the life form. "You are a fairly tall plant with seven leaflets on each leaf. I will call you Jim Bob. How does that sound?"

The plant, Jim Bob, Just sat there.

"Speak up! Wait, you can't talk," said the pudgy human as he touched the plant. Instantaneously, the plant came to life. It pulled up it's roots from the ground and walked around.

"Wow! I can walk and talk!" exclaimed Jim Bob "Thank you!"

"Hi, Jim Bob, I'm... Wait! I don't have a name," realized the spirit. The nameless spirit thought for a moment, "I shall call myself Bob. For I only know two names, and I do not like Jim," stated Bob as he stood and raised his arms above his head.

On the fifth day, Bob created the sky and animals. On the sixth day, he created a man in his own image, but younger, thinner, and with more hair. Then he took a nap and when he awoke, he named the man Billy Bob. On the seventh day, while Billy Bob slept, Bob took a piece of Billy Bob's pancreas and made a woman. Bob named the woman Jilly Bob. He placed the man and woman in a garden, called Eatin.

Bob left them with only one rule, "Don't smoke the sacred pot plant the grows in the middle of the garden." With that, Bob took Jim Bob and went to the great Bobatropolis, Bob's home.

Weeks went by, Jilly Bob and Billy Bob lived in the garden. One day, while Billy Bob was naming the animals, Jilly Bob went for a walk. Jilly Bob passed the forbidden plant, when all of the sudden, a white cow with black spots walked out from the trees smoking a joint.

"Hey, want a drag Jilly Bob?" asked the cow.

"What is it?" asked Jilly Bob.

"It's weed and it surely does pack a buzz," said the cow, handing the joint to Jilly Bob.

Jilly Bob took a deep drag and began coughing. She dragged it again and passed it back to the cow.

"Wow! Where can I get some of that?" asked Jilly Bob.

"Right behind you," answered the cow.

Jilly Bob turned around and pulled the forbidden plant from the ground. She carried the sacred pot plant to a grassy knoll and laid it out to dry. A few days passed, and Jilly Bob returned to the hill. She collected up the weed, sat down, and rolled it into joints. After two or three joints, Billy Bob walked up to Jilly Bob.

"What are you doing?" Asked Billy Bob as he sat down next to Jilly Bob.

"Smoking weed, " Replied Jilly Bob "do you want some?"

"Sure!" exclaimed Billy Bob "But where did you get it?"

"From the center of the garden," answered Jilly Bob just as Billy Bob too a drag.

"Suddenly, Bob appeared, along with Jim Bob and walked over to Jilly Bob and Billy Bob. He stood before them, staring angrily. "How could you smoke from the forbidden plant? That was my pot and now I will lose money!" scolded Bob "Now you shall be banished from Eatin and you will have to pay for your dope! Leave now!"

Billy Bob and Jilly Bob gathered up their belongings, and traveled towards the exit of Eatin. A funny looking man with long curly black hair covering his face and wearing a top hat with a cigarette dangling from his lips blocked the path. Slowly they approached the man.

"Who are you?" asked Billy Bob.

"I am the garden keeper, Gordon of Eatin," answered the weird man.

"Can you tell us how to get out of here?" asked Jilly Bob.

"Sure I can," replied Gordon "I'll lead you out."

So Billy Bob and Jilly Bob followed Gordon down a path. As they walked down the path, they were soon surrounded by large trees and it steadily grew darker. Weeds and vines crisscrossed the winding trail. They continued down the path until they found themselves back in the center of the Garden of Eatin, where the sacred plant once grew. Gordon, Billy Bob, and Jilly Bob turned off the path onto a little dirt trail. After walking for a few minutes, Gordon stopped.

"I think that we're lost," said Gordon. "I don't remember ever being in this part of the garden before."

"Oh great! We're lost! Lost with Gordon of Eatin!" complained Billy Bob.

Suddenly, Bob appeared on a branch about thirty or forty feet off the ground. "Damn! I hate when this happens," grumbled Bob as he climbed down out of the tree "so, you still haven't left yet. Here, I'll teleport you out of my garden."

With a wave of his hand, they disappeared. Then Bob faded back to Bobatropolis, and Gordon was left standing there. Billy Bob and Jilly Bob materialized outside the gates of Eatin. Just then, Bob appeared again.

"You shall never enter Eatin again. You should have listened," scolded Bob "I shall place a barrier to block any entry into the garden!"

Just as he said that, a huge wall of mayonnaise burst forth from the ground and surrounded the Garden of Eatin. Bob again disappeared. Billy Bob and Jilly Bob began walking across the large barren wasteland until they reached a small grove of trees.

Here is where Billy Bob built a house and started growing his own food. He also began to hunt and fish. After about a year, Jilly Bob gave birth to a set of twins, Ain and Cable. Billy Bob decided to name the area that surrounded their home. They named it Delhi. They lived this way for twenty years, after which time, Billy Bob died of a drug over dose.

Ain and Cable began fighting to become owner of Delhi. One night Ain sneaked into Cable's room. Ain pulled a knife from his belt and held it ready to stab Cable. Cable's left eye flared and then he ripped Ain's arm off. Cable beat Ain to death with his own arm. Just them Jilly Bob entered the room.

"Cable, what are you doing?" asked Jilly Bob.

"It's not my fault. It was self defense. I plead temporary insanity," replied Cable as he dropped Ain's bloody arm.

"Okay, I forgive you," Said Jilly Bob.




In the years that followed, Cable became the ruler of Delhi, and his family grew larger. He had fifteen children, thirteen boys and two girls. Cable's sons became the thirteen rulers of Delhi, and the girls just washed clothes, cleaned the house, and any other house work that needed done. And so begins the reign of Bob.


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