HOMOPHOBIA

 After the time of José, the Bobtist religion dwindled to only a few followers. Many people began to worship other gods, including the Blasphemous Cow. The world filled with evil and it just wasn't a nice place to live. In this time was a man named No-One.

No-One was taking a dump, when Bob's voice spewed forth from the toilet, "No-One, you must build a raft from popsicle sticks and put two of everything, plants and animals on it. For I, Bob, shall rid the world of evil." No-One wiped his ass and flushed the toilet.

The next day, No-One went to the local grocery store and bought all the popsicles they had. After paying the enormously large bill, he went home and began eating all the popsicles. It took him forty days and forty nights to eat them all. Then he did a half-assed job of slapping them together, using snot as an adhesive.

When he was finished, he took a step back and said, "What a pile of shit! Now to load up the animals."

No-One loaded two off every plant and animal onto the raft, including the ugly ones. He forgot a few animals, but they are extinct now, so that doesn't really matter. He brought two male dragons, but try as they might, they could not be fruitful and multiply. No-One also "forgot" his wife, but he took a sexy blonde, with big hoots as a replacement. Bob forgave No-One for that, because she showed Bob a good time.

Just then, with a bright flash of lightning and a loud clap of thunder, mayonnaise began to shower from the sky. For a hundred days and two nights, it poured mayonnaise. By the time it stopped, all No-One could see was endless miles of Mayonnaise. On the hundred and first day, Bob decided to make a small tuna sandwich using all the mayonnaise on the world. After scraping all the mayonnaise off the world, Bob ate the sandwich.

Bob and No-One replanted all the plants, which didn't take long because he used his supreme powers. Then Bob said to the mass of animals, "Go forth and multiply, a lot!" The animals did as Bob commanded, and enjoyed it.

Any-One, No-One's better looking twin brother, took No-One's girl to their new home, "Well, it's our job to repopulate the world," Any-One said as he jumped into bed. His new wife, Whore, giggled and jumped into bed with him.

From that day forward, any woman who sleeps with anyone is called a whore. Any-One and Whore remained in their house for forty days and forty nights, while No-One wandered away looking for Whore. Slowly they repopulated the world and life went back to normal, or at least the way it was before, if you can call that normal.

Go to the neXt book of the Boble


Return to the Boble Homepage