| *EPISODE FIVE* |
| Mocha and Tyke sat side-by-side in Leighanne's livning room. Leighanna and Mandy were talking together when once again Mandy noticed just how chubby Mocha was. "Leighanne- do you think Mocha might be pregnant?" pondered Mandy. Leighanne frowned and they both looked at Tyke, "It's his love child!" she gasped. *** "SEX! I NEED SEX!!" This horrible cry of pain sounded throughout Lush Grove, causing parents to cover their children's ears, dogs to howl, even caused Obie to stop beating his bongos and listen for a moment. Even Zachary, who is gay, stopped tending his gay flowers in shock. The cause of this torment in Lush Groves was none other than.... LOERLEI! It had been many moons since Lorelei had gotten it on, and the torture of being clean was unbearable. She threw herself on her bed in tears, "WHY?! Why am I on this bed alone? Why isn't there a man Laying Down Beside me! I need sex!" Suddenly, Lorelei perked up and sat straight on her bed, "I have a boyfriend! That's what Alexander's for." The phone abruptly rang. Lorelei answered. "Hello?" Alexander was on the other line sounding not very sober, "Lorelei? I know about Brian. You're very sexy and stuff, but ... we're through." *click* "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" *** Alexander hung up the phone and looked up at Nickolas and Kathryne, "I DID IT! I'm single, I upbreaked with Lor...Lor...Loretta (Egan girl)!" He took another swig of his beer. "We're proud of you Alexander, this had to be done," Kathryne told him. But Alexander was too busy watching the pretty mailboxes run in circles around the bar. He clapped his hands in delight. "PRETTY MAILBOXES!" he exclaimed, "Purple and blue, even YELLOW!" Nickolas cast a worried look at Kathryne, then he places his hands firmly on Alexander's shoulders and looked him in the eye, "Alexander, you are completely wasted. The mailboxes left half an hour ago. You have a problem, and we are going to take you to get help." Alexander pulled away angrily, "I'M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM!" *** Kevin and Kristin, in chaps, were riding down the long, black road when they heard Lorelei's screams of distress. "Maybe we should help her," pondered Kevin, the Good Samaritan. "Maybe," considered Kristin. Kevin and Kristin parked their horses in Lorelei's yard and went inside. They preceded to find her in her room, a complete mess, thrashing about. "Do you think she's okay?" Kristin whispered. "No," replied Kevin, "I do not! TRIGGER! Onward to the hospital!!" *** Howard strolled into the kitchen where Kathryne was preparing her spaghetti. "KATHRYNE," he announced dramatically, "Kathryne. Kathryne, Kathryne...Kathryne." Kathryne looked at him... "Howard?" "I've been hearing... things about you. Disturbing things. I don't know what to think about any of this... so I think we should take a break." Kathryne turned, thus leaving her spaghetti unattended. "What did you hear? What are you talking about Howard?" "You know... speed freak, monkey-screwer, nut eater, those secret hobbies of yours." Kathryne dropped her spoon, "WHO told you that? That's ridiculous!! Don't tell me you beleive that Gucci!" Howard dropped his head, "I told you, I don't know what to think. I need some time alone. Away - not with you. To think. To figure out what I'm thinking. I think that's a good idea. Ya think?" Kathryne had no reply but to delve her hand deep into the gooey, hot spaghetti and hurl it at Howard's face. "BASTARD!" she shrieked, "LIE BELIEVER! Gucci asshole! DAMN LLAMA!" Howard, trying to sheild himself from the hot shower of spaghetti noodles, turned and ran from their house in pain, "FREAKY BITCH!" he yelled. *** Eva, make-up, hair, eyes, and weight, cleverly munipulated to resemble Kathryne, arrived at her apartment breathless. She had just returned from Kathryne's house where she had scavenged through Kathryne's closet, drawers, and jewelry and gathered loot. Eva knew that everyday around the same time, Howard had a date with the Lush Grove swimming facilities. She donned one of Kathryne's bikinis and headed to the pool. Sure enough, he was there. Howard stepped out of the pool. "Kathryne, I don't want to talk to you right now. I told you I need time away." "Howard, it's me," Eva said seductively. "I thought you might need some company." "Well, I am kind of lonely," Howard said sheepishly. "That's what I'm here for." Eva dived into the pool and emerged beckoning Howard to follow. He consented. *** Kathryne entered Billy's apartment with a lonely look on her face. "By Gucci!" Billy said. "Is something wrong?" "NOOOO!" she wailed. "Tell Pappa B about it." "Howard wants time away from me," Kathryne said, "He rejected my spaghetti." "The bastard," said Billy. "You just stay here, and I'll take care of you." He held out his arms to Kathryne and they embraced. Then Pappa B became a little less friendly and a little more aroused. He lifted Kathryne's chin and kissed her, and this time she kissed him back. |