The Fall

    
     The man walked out of his office building and got into a large red
 convertible with blue trim and white sidewalls. He turned the key and 
the 250 horsepower engine roared to life and just as quickly died. 
"Damn car!" the man thought "It must be this weather." He got out of 
the car and walked over to the nearby pay phone. Stupidly, the man 
plopped in a quarter without listening for a dial-tone. He quickly 
discovered that not only was the phone not working, but also he 
wouldn't be getting his quarter back any time soon. (He does get it 
back. But that's another story.) 
    The man by now was quite frustrated and so he did what any 
sensible person would do-he started pounding on the phone and 
yelling at the top of his lungs, all of which did nothing except wake 
the bum that had been sleeping in a doorway nearby and prompt a 
passing car or three to honk loudly and shout obscenities at him. 
The man then did a very silly thing-he went back to his car and tried 
unsuccessfully to start it. (He should have tried successfully to 
start it.) He then locked the door and got out of his car and then 
he...wait! "I left the keys in the car!?! damn this car!!!"
    By now this large middle-aged office worker realized that nothing 
would go right for him today and so being the sensible person that he 
was he screamed "Why me ha? Why me God? Tell me! Now!" Who he thought 
he was commanding God to do anything I Don't know but obviously he 
thought he was someone special-which he was. God was paying attention, 
but not to him, to Australia, which was 6539 miles away from his 
current position. The man gave up and decided to walk home. "Home?" , 
he thought "where is that? This way? No. Maybe this way. Oh I just 
don't know which way to go!" Still nothing was going right and with 
good reason...His horoscope said so. The man flipped a coin, noted the 
result, and on this basis started walking left. Or at least the 
direction he thought was left. 
    The sun was going down and night began it's reign over the western 
hemisphere. The man was cold and frustrated but he had to keep on 
walking. He left the city but didn't know where else to go so he 
kept on walking and walking and walking and suddenly he came to 
chasm about ten feet wide and only god knows how deep (538 ft. or so 
God tells me). This chasm ran as far as the man could see to the left 
and to the right. The man picked up a rock and dropped it over the 
edge of the chasm. The rock hit the bottom several seconds later 
(4.1) with a splash. "Great there's water down there and it's God 
knows how deep and I can't see any way around it and..." Suddenly a 
bolt of lightning struck missing the man by 3 ft. 8 inches and 
startling him so much he fell over the edge of the chasm. 
Fortunately for the man he landed in the river and he also 
remembered how to swim. And swim he did until he reached the shore at 
which point he suddenly remembered everything including where he lived.
    "Today," the man thought "will be a different day altogether." 
Thinking this the man walked out of the small canyon and directly into 
the path of an on coming cat. The cat came screaming at him trying to 
stop but it was too late. Desperately the cat swerved missing the man 
by inches. The man was visibly shaken as he continued in his way home. 
He finally got home, said hello to the burglar that was robbing his 
house and went to bed. "Wait a minute! Burglar?" The man leapt out of 
bed and grabbed his baseball bat. He got out of his room and into the 
kitchen. No sign of the thief anywhere. "Damn." the man thought , 
"I'm too late he's gone already." The man then called the police. 
The police weren't very responsive and didn't show up for several 
minutes. When they did arrive all they did was ask "What happened? 
and looked around making notes on their notepads. Or at least they 
seemed to be making notes. If you looked at them (which I did) you 
would have seen the following (picture of a cube) and this 
"What an idiot" on the other. 
     So once again nothing was going right. Why this time? Don't ask me
I'm just a young but incredibly bright writer.I don't know everything!!!!!!!!

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