Ross - 10/14/99 07:10:39
My Email:R.McManus@toowoomba.qld.gov.au
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: up to 10

Comments:
It is only now, in my 45th year that I find I can no longer keep what happened in its dungeon. I feel I have been labled, that I have a brand stamped on me. I was a soldier for 20 years and had kept some pretty terrible things to myself, but after a traumatic incident it all came out. The worst being the abuse I suffered. At times I wonder what I am worrying about, because I'm strong and healthy, and other times I just want to die. I love children, the worst thing to see is a child in fear. That is so terrible. It's strange, gaining an understanding that this has happened to others because you really think that you are all alone. I am/was a soldier, with a lot of knowledge, yet I feel a freedom and a sense of peace writing poetry. Pretty weak hey! I wrote about 10 years ago but destroyed it all. It was so violent and I didn't know why. Then a couple of years ago I started writing while I was helping someone with a similar background and I was taking her pain and adding it to my own. I kept those poems that time and still write. I can't watch any violence relating to children on TV. I was so lucky that my wonderful wife picked up something early on in our marriage, and knew that something had happened to me when I told her about three months ago, I was abused and having flashbacks. I never knew what they were, just vivid fragments of a circle of light but it floored me. I really thought I was dying. What happened left me with a fear of a certain profession, and a unshakable feeling of dirt and degradation. I feel dirty and no matter how many showers I have, I can't get rid of that feeling. I sincerely hope this site is genuine, I feel it is, I also feel it is strong. Hoping to hear from you Ross

Jo - 10/14/99 03:10:03
My Email:joneenz@tctwest.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7-25

Comments:


Dr. Mich - 10/07/99 20:52:21
My Email:drmich@swns.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): My father and brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: my earliest memory-12

Comments:
I would really like to find someone to e-mail with because sometimes it gets very difficult. As far as being a survivor, I know that we are all beautiful, amazing people - even though it's difficult for me to remember about myself sometimes!!!!

di - 10/04/99 21:30:53
My Email:dshriner@excite.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: csa
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes-plural
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: <5 - 18

Comments:
don't know if i'd call this surviving...but i'm still kickin'! I absolutely adore this site and all the people in it. I've been looking for something like this for so long...didn't think it existed (for obvious 'net concerns). Hope I can help somebody s much as you all have helped me so far.

Belle - 10/04/99 20:27:43
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): I think my father/can't remember, wont remember
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): supervisior
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5 and then 17

Comments:
Hi Marlana This site has been a tremendous inspiration. The site and the people I have met here have helped me emmencily. Thank you for your wonderful work and the timeless effort that you put into this site.

Michelle - 10/04/99 01:30:37
My Email:smluke92@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Uncle
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 10-12; again in mid-20's

Comments:
I've been abused by an uncle who is a priest as well as by a neighbor. I'm looking to share my story and journey of recovery with other survivors and I welcome their support.

brian blackfield - 09/24/99 22:15:51
My Email:duncon@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: sex abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friend of family
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 10

Comments:


MCJ - 09/14/99 03:24:35
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8 -17

Comments:
The abuser was my father. I now believe the abuse began before he shipped over to England (WWII)when I would have been about 4. There is strength in numbers. Thank you for bringing us together.

Amber - 09/10/99 16:21:54
My Email:BRay@cybertrails.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes-sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes-my father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-5 years of age

Comments:
I am surviving, it has been difficult. I still have some problems stemming from my abuse. Thanks to my Mom and friends who have supported me and loved me, I am surviving the abuse and living a good life.

Annie - 08/24/99 05:30:59
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexal abuse
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): adoptive parents
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 2-16 years

Comments:
remembering in `92 caused a nervous breckdown in `94 I left England because being so close to them was killing me I am a survivour but I am still dead inside.

CIndy - 08/22/99 14:53:51
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): my uncle
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 'till I was 12

Comments:
it's difficult to talk, and to find someone to talk to.

trinidad - 08/20/99 00:18:41
My Email:brh99@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Sexual abuse/rape
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8, 14 to 18

Comments:
I will call myself 'Trinidad'. I was abused by a relative from the age of eight for the first time and by the same relative at 14 thru 18. You may ask why the gap. The fisr wa on a vacation and at 13 our family moved in with that relative. My sister was also abused by this relative. I decided to enter this forum, because I have been in theropy for 6 years and have come a long way. My hardest times have past, but on occasion I have triggers and flashbacks that set me back. I feel that I have reached a p ace in my theropy in which I would like to share with others. Also that someone would not feel like they are alone, as I did for many years. I feel too that I could get help from being is this type of forum. Especially with my ability when dealin with anger and sex. I am married (15yrs) and I have 2 kids. that is enough for starters. thank you for listening.

Victoria - 08/09/99 18:58:47
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/ns/southeasternnurse
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Childhood sexual abuse & rape in my early 20s.
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes, my grandfather (childhood sexual abuse)
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): Raped by a stranger - HOWEVER I had seen him walking around at a friends party earlier that night.
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: Sexual abuse - cannot remember when it began but ended around 10-11 y/o and the rape occurred in my early twenties.

Comments:
You should be extremely proud of what you have accomplished here - What a beautiful site! What a beautiful person you are! Your poetry is wonderful & so expressive - I used to write like crazy - It was very therapeutic for me, I wish I had kept up with my writings! I was searching for 'healing humor' to place on my nursing website & found your glorious pages! Humor is a major therapeutic tool of mine - I kept it next to my stethoscope! I'll come back & visit often! If I can be of any help please let me kno !!! God Bless All! SMILE! Vicki

wyteria - 08/08/99 21:29:55
My Email:whyaskwhy@mailcity.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes, the first time
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7 - 11

Comments:
Marlana, all I can say is YOU GO, GIRL! I found your page by accident-I was looking for a writers' support group and found something far more valuable! A place where I could unabashedly share my experiences and feelings. I enjoyed reading your story even though I'm not brave enough yet to add my own. Keep up the good work!

Kathy - 07/30/99 21:56:21
My Email:kdoh29@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes, my father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: I don't remember

Comments:


Rennie - 07/27/99 16:35:43
My Email:Rennie67@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): two were
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6-22

Comments:
You know me, and what I've been thru....any way that I can help others in the way that I have been helped, I want to do it. Thanks for creating this wonderful site Marlana!!!

Canaan - 07/23/99 00:32:40
My Email:canaanjoy@msn.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: acquaintance rape
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 23

Comments:
i FOUND YOU IN MY TIME OF NEED ..THANK YOU!

Kelly Jude - 07/17/99 02:34:30
My Email:KJude00@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 10-13

Comments:
I used to believe that I was over the sexual abuse until just recently when I gave birth to a little girl. Now all the memories have come back and I find myself afraid dor my little girl because if it happened to me who is to say it won't happen to her. he mere thought of that scares me so much. My husband says that I shouldn't worry about it, but I do. I am just glad to know that I am not the only person out there and there are places likee this where I can go for support.

Hazel - 07/04/99 14:13:48
My Email:rx7girl@enterprise.net.au
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3 years on

Comments:
To All who have left their own personal story thank you!!!!! Writing your story or even a small part is so hard. I like you all live my own every day of my life, I have done so for the last 44 years. My abuse started as a baby and never stopped, whether it was sexual or emotional, verbal it all rolled into one. My life of as a child was hell, like a lot of people I have little real recollection of my childhood. It is blocked out of my mind. I partied like no one could, in the back of my mind I knew I was different, something had happened to me, but I could not would not face it. I would eat any pill that passed my way, cut my self to pieces, my arms, legs, stomach anything that I felt would end my pain and my hatred for my body. In total I had over 16 operations, doctors trying to repair the internal damage inflicted on me to no avail. Till the final operation saying that is it whatever is left now comes out!!....I hid the pain of that behind parties, laughing always being the et rnal fool.........but the pain GOD the pain behind those smiles. I have never been able to have what might be called a 'normal' relationship on a sexual level whatever goes I will be in it, abusive, group, bi whatever I do not know how to relate on any other level, that is the legacy I am left with. But I am still alive, have a good job, have a lovely home, no kids, never married, who could I inflict this warped mind on??? The people who did this to me are alive and well, but I do not have the courage to face them and just ask WHY!!!! WHY did you do this to me??....these are questions I ask every day of my life.....when I sit alone at night, crying, my nightmares are hell, do they sleep?? yes I am sure they do.... Well thanks for reading, sorry to ramble on Nice to know that sometimes I am not the only one........

Donna M. - 06/07/99 14:57:58
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/tx/kitty36/index.html
My Email:dandg1@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes from 1966 to 1972
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 4 till 10

Comments:
Thank you very much for this site you have made for others like me that need to be reminded at times that we are all survivors and that our lifes are better now and knowing that the nightmares may never end but we can still live on with our lifes to the f llest.I was abused from the age of 4 till I was 10 from my father and then when i got married my ex use to beat me and rape me as well and it was like reliving your whole child hood all over again till I was able to get out of this turmoil and care about yself enough not to take it anymore.Thank you again for this site and I hope u get to read some of my poems on my site as well for some of them are about my abuse and how I feel now.May god bless you always.Love,Donna.

Donna M. - 06/07/99 14:57:20
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/tx/kitty36/index.html
My Email:dandg1@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes from 1966 to 1972
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 4 till 10

Comments:
Thank you very much for this site you have made for others like me that need to be reminded at times that we are all survivors and that our lifes are better now and knowing that the nightmares may never end but we can still live on with our lifes to the f llest.I was abused from the age of 4 till I was 10 from my father and then when i got married my ex use to beat me and rape me as well and it was like reliving your whole child hood all over again till I was able to get out of this turmoil and care about yself enough not to take it anymore.Thank you again for this site and I hope u get to read some of my poems on my site as well for some of them are about my abuse and how I feel now.May god bless you always.Love,Donna.

Donna M. - 06/07/99 14:57:02
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/tx/kitty36/index.html
My Email:dandg1@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes from 1966 to 1972
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 4 till 10

Comments:
Thank you very much for this site you have made for others like me that need to be reminded at times that we are all survivors and that our lifes are better now and knowing that the nightmares may never end but we can still live on with our lifes to the f llest.I was abused from the age of 4 till I was 10 from my father and then when i got married my ex use to beat me and rape me as well and it was like reliving your whole child hood all over again till I was able to get out of this turmoil and care about yself enough not to take it anymore.Thank you again for this site and I hope u get to read some of my poems on my site as well for some of them are about my abuse and how I feel now.May god bless you always.Love,Donna.

Donna M. - 06/07/99 14:56:46
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/tx/kitty36/index.html
My Email:dandg1@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes from 1966 to 1972
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 4 till 10

Comments:
Thank you very much for this site you have made for others like me that need to be reminded at times that we are all survivors and that our lifes are better now and knowing that the nightmares may never end but we can still live on with our lifes to the f llest.I was abused from the age of 4 till I was 10 from my father and then when i got married my ex use to beat me and rape me as well and it was like reliving your whole child hood all over again till I was able to get out of this turmoil and care about yself enough not to take it anymore.Thank you again for this site and I hope u get to read some of my poems on my site as well for some of them are about my abuse and how I feel now.May god bless you always.Love,Donna.

Susan - 06/04/99 20:19:54
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Man/girl touch/molest
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5yrs ->

Comments:
This has been a great site for me. When I have been feeling low I can come here and find someone who understands. The caring and comforting I feel here is unmatched anywhere else in my life. I know that I can be myself, even though I'm still trying to ind out who that person really is because I wear so many masks it is hard to find the REAL me. I can show the real me here with no fear of being further abused. Thank you so much for having a site like this for people like me.

meg - 05/29/99 04:11:53
My Email:TULULA67@AOL
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: YES
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4YRS TO 30 YRS

Comments:
HI,im new to this site i was here last night i really like it so far i appreiciate you sharing your story w me i had many abusers i ran into one in an elevator at work one night and he smirked and laughed a little i just acted strong and really prayed and did alot of positive self talk. well that was my first attempt at a job in 5yrs i am disabled because of the abuse .I have 3 beautiful safe children and ihave put all my energy into raising them lovingly and safe .the other thing i do is try to live a saf happy life in recovery i have recently left my husband of 8 yrs. the relationship was abusive he was verbally abusive and thought i was dirt so of coursei beleived it for a time. anyway i would like to get in touch with some nice people that have been t rough this does anyone know about disability for any of these type of problems or how to go about getting it i need help w that for now thanks for listening ...meg

meg - 05/29/99 04:11:27
My Email:TULULA67@AOL
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: YES
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4YRS TO 30 YRS

Comments:
HI,im new to this site i was here last night i really like it so far i appreiciate you sharing your story w me i had many abusers i ran into one in an elevator at work one night and he smirked and laughed a little i just acted strong and really prayed and did alot of positive self talk. well that was my first attempt at a job in 5yrs i am disabled because of the abuse .I have 3 beautiful safe children and ihave put all my energy into raising them lovingly and safe .the other thing i do is try to live a saf happy life in recovery i have recently left my husband of 8 yrs. the relationship was abusive he was verbally abusive and thought i was dirt so of coursei beleived it for a time. anyway i would like to get in touch with some nice people that have been t rough this does anyone know about disability for any of these type of problems or how to go about getting it i need help w that for now thanks for listening ...meg

lori - 05/26/99 00:44:43
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: c\s\a
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): no
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): stepfather
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7yrs.old

Comments:
I am a survivor, I have been married for 19 yrs,have 2 boys, great kids wonderful husband has put up with so much can't tell you, I have been going to therapy for over 10 yrs off and on. and I still feel like I'm getting no where. I just want to be normal do you think it is possible?

- 05/26/99 00:36:49

Comments:


- 05/26/99 00:35:12

Comments:


lori - 05/26/99 00:25:45
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: c\s\a
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): no
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): stepfather
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7yrs.old

Comments:
I am a survivor, I have been married for 19 yrs,have 2 boys, great kids wonderful husband has put up with so much can't tell you, I have been going to therapy for over 10 yrs off and on. and I still feel like I'm getting no where. I just want to be normal do you think it is possible?

Matthew Payne - 05/23/99 02:41:19
My Email:sales@interrom.com.au
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 14-18

Comments:
This is a wonderful site. I wrote a novel four years ago entitled The Fallen Ones. I am currently getting it ready for publication. Within a couple of weeks, it will be hosted on a site for free down load. I would love people to take advantage of this. T e novel is set in Kings Cross, Sydney, Australias biggest red light district. It's a story of pain and healing, hope and reality, with lots of phycology. It's writtne at fourth grade level reading and I'd invite down loads and possible reviews. To support the novel, on the site, I wish to publish any writings, prose poetry, short stories, and encourage everyperson who just wants to touch base to do so at the above email address. The road to forgiveness and healing is a long one. The Fallen Ones offers hope, and love and answers, I pray that you can gather the courage to email me for a copy. Everyone who reads and writes a small review, i will send a hard cover, limited and indivi ualy nubered signed edition too. Those who don't email me...God bless you in your journey....

Matthew payne - 05/23/99 01:53:58
My URL:http://www.interrom.com.au
My Email:sales@interrom.com.au
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: sexual molestation/rape
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 14

Comments:
love your site. May God bless you

Janet Downey - 05/14/99 15:14:17
My Email:jadowney@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: rape and childhood sexual abuse but don't remember the childhood abuse.
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): My father I think
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): my supervisors
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: around 5 I think and 17

Comments:
Hi Marlana, thank you so very much for having this site. I love it here, and without all of you I don't think I would have classified myself as a survivor. I would still believe all the lies that I have been told about it being my fault. I am not sure about the abuse from my father, my mom told me about it, but I don't remember, only remember his physical abuse. But knowing the kind of person that he is I think so. I don't want to remember. Thank you so very much Liberty

Wanda - 05/11/99 12:43:47
My Email:wrushing@telepak.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: child sex abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): no
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): no
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): no
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-12

Comments:
I was abused by several different people from the age of 5 till I was around 12. I do not recall a lot of exact details of the abuse or of my childhood. I don't know if I'll ever remember it all or if I even want to. It scares me, but I am surviving and d aling with it.

EDITHGRAVES - 05/06/99 06:24:07
My Email:CHINADOLL16@JUNO.COM
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE,SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE,DATE RAPE,SPOUSAL ABUSE
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): FATHER, MOTHER, BROTHER,
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): STEP-FATHER
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6MONTHS TO SIXTEEN YEARS.

Comments:
IT TOOK ME THIRTEEN YEARS TO GO FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR, BUT I AM THERE. THE HARD PART IS NOT FAILING BACK INTO THE VICTIM ROLL AGAIN.

Linda Gosling - 04/24/99 03:30:10
My Email:bobg@myna.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: date and acquaintance rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): personal friends
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): stranger
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6, 12 and 17

Comments:


M JACKS - 04/23/99 05:58:37
My Email:mjacks9568@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: first memory six years

Comments:
why doesnt the rage and shame go away?

Sarah Floyd - 04/21/99 21:41:29
My Email:dallaspanther@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6 to 8 again at 17

Comments:


Susan Maree Jeavons - 04/19/99 13:16:15
My URL:http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/child_abuse_and_recovery
My Email:susanmaree101@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: incest
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: ?-16

Comments:
Your site is top notch and I have listed it in my links. Keep up the good work! I invite you and other survivors to visit Suite101.com and my subject, Child Abuse & Recovery. :)

Liz - 04/17/99 20:45:32
My Email:ArtstSoul@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes...uncle and brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: i don't know exactly...about 5 to 10..kinda block out specifics

Comments:
I just found this place this week and already I love it here. I feel safe and I know I will not be judged...it feels so wonderful to have a place to go.

Lynn Roberts - 04/10/99 19:40:58
My Email:alynn26@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Childhood Sexual
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8-16

Comments:
I was sent here by a very dear friend. I like this forum. I can express my self and my feelings.

Susan Maree - 04/09/99 01:06:46
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/wellesley/6805/
My Email:blueeyedreb@alltel.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: ?-16

Comments:
I don't think that any survivor can ever completely recover from their abuse, but we can learn from it and try to help others in our fight against child abuse. Survivors are a strong breed! Keep up the good work at this excellent site!

Starman_uk - 03/29/99 20:57:15
My URL:http://abuse.recovery.uk.asarian-host.org
My Email:starman@asarian-host.org
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood and adult rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6 to 14

Comments:
what a wonderful site, so supportive... i will be back soon. steve starman_uk webmaster asbuse recovery uk

Sandi - 03/28/99 08:58:38
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Wellesley/7206/
My Email:sn1721@sunshine.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 1 or 2 to 12

Comments:
Thank you for the wonderful site.... You are truly amazing... Please try to visit mine one day.... Hugs to you Sandi

toni antonicelli - 03/27/99 04:21:10
My Email:toniroses@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-11, 18-21

Comments:
Thank you for having this web site...it is comforting and sad to know that there are others out there like myself. I look forward to hearing from you.

Susan - 03/25/99 02:05:28
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/wellesley/6805/
My Email:blueeyedreb@alltel.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: incest
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-16

Comments:
There is hope. You can survive. The power is in your hands!

suem - 03/23/99 03:42:38
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: four

Comments:
I need to find other survivors to talk with. I am currently in a deep deppresion and just want to give into the feelings of emptyness inside. Help me if you can

- 03/22/99 00:23:38

Comments:


Mardelle - 03/22/99 00:21:00

Comments:
Great homepage, Marlana. Glad to hear you are feeling better. It is too bad about Dick Teichman. 78 seems young today. My mom has been battling pneumonia the last two weeks. Don is at work today--Sunday. We hope you stay healthy. Love, Mardelle

Marlena - 03/19/99 03:10:01
My URL:http://www.woodburybydesign.com/marlena/
My Email:mrs88888@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Childhood, stranger rape
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): Hebrew School Teacher at 8
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): Stranger at 19
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: Childhood 8, stranger 19

Comments:
Your site is fabulous. Thnak you so much for sharing all this with us... ((((HUGS))))) Marlena

Danielle - 03/17/99 22:06:47
My Email:cake_is_good@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 9-13

Comments:
Thanks for this site it is helping already.

Nancye Sims - 03/13/99 18:59:46
My Email:shawn26@gte.net

Comments:
Hello, My name is Nancye Sims and I am the author of the poem "A Creed To Live By" on your site. I just recently learned my writings are on the Internet and I am so pleased to see they are an inspiration to others as this is the main reason I write. Tha k You so much for including it on your beautiful (and worthwhile) site. I would love to hear from others who have been inspired by this poem. My e-mail address (in lowercase letters please) is: shawn26@gte.net Thanks again and have a great day! Sincerely, Nancye Sims

Jennifer Curtis - 03/12/99 04:29:19
My Email:dawnslight1122@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): grandfather
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: about age 4 or younger until age 13 or 14.

Comments:
I recently wrote a letter of closure to my grandfather even though he has died years ago. It got all my feelings down on paper which made me feel so much better. I have finally come to the point where remembering does not hurt as bad as it used to. The hate does not consume me anymore. I have stopped him. I refuse to let him rape me over and over in my mind for the rest of my life. Just to let other survivors know that they are not alone. I understand. Any survivors e-mails welcome.

Jennifer Curtis - 03/12/99 04:29:02
My Email:dawnslight1122@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): grandfather
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: about age 4 or younger until age 13 or 14.

Comments:
I recently wrote a letter of closure to my grandfather even though he has died years ago. It got all my feelings down on paper which made me feel so much better. I have finally come to the point where remembering does not hurt as bad as it used to. The hate does not consume me anymore. I have stopped him. I refuse to let him rape me over and over in my mind for the rest of my life. Just to let other survivors know that they are not alone. I understand. Any survivors e-mails welcome.

Jennifer Curtis - 03/12/99 04:16:28
My Email:dawnslight1122@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): grandfather
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: about age 4 or younger until age 13 or 14.

Comments:
I recently wrote a letter of closure to my grandfather even though he has died years ago. It got all my feelings down on paper which made me feel so much better. I have finally come to the point where remembering does not hurt as bad as it used to. The hate does not consume me anymore. I have stopped him. I refuse to let him rape me over and over in my mind for the rest of my life. Just to let other survivors know that they are not alone. I understand. Any survivors e-mails welcome.

Jessi Southerland - 03/08/99 23:11:21
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/hi/LostChildHood/index.html
My Email:aurorajess@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): adopted cousin
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: dont remember - present

Comments:


Cristen Collins - 03/03/99 16:33:57
My Email:cristen_c@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: rape
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): by a b-f and his friend
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 13-14

Comments:
Just need someone to talkt o if you can find somebody I'am only 15 years old and me some help. E-mail me

Julee - 02/28/99 04:15:34
My Email:Msboss7@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 27

Comments:
I am so glad that this is available for help and support. It has been so hard the last 3 months trying to deal with this on my own. Thank you.

kristi - 02/27/99 05:16:02
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-10 years old

Comments:
I don't talk about this to anyone-I'm married and still have some emotional hang-up's.It's hard for my husband but it's also hard for me.Maybe someday I will be brave enough to tell him all about it so he can understand ME better.(the thoughts going thru y head)Thank you for all you are doing to help victims and surviors! May God bless you and keep you close.... Hugs to you

Lynne Meyer - 02/25/99 00:36:56
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friend of the family
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: approx. 7 - 11

Comments:
Marlana, this is a beautiful, beautiful site. Thank you so much. For almost two decades, I've been dealing with my abuse entirely on my own; while I know I've made great strides in my healing process, I also know that I can't do it alone any longer. Re ently I realized just how much I need to reach out to other survivors, to offer my help and to be helped by them in return. The personal stories posted here touched me so deeply...it was both saddening and encouraging that I am not alone in my experience . When finally I am able to get my thoughts together (I've never shared the details of my abuse wth anyone before), I will be adding my story to the archive.

S.ORTIZ - 02/24/99 17:01:33
My Email:SORTIZ@CCGROUPWISE
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: YES
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: ABOUT 3 YEARS OLD

Comments:
I AM GLAD THAT I HAVE FINALLY FOUND A PLACE WHERE I KNOW THAT I BELONG. I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING A GROUP FOR SURVIVORS. I HAD JOINED ONE WHEN I STARTED THERAPY ABOUT, ALMOST A YEAR NOW, AND THERE WERE ONLY TWO SURVIVORS THERE: THERE WAS ANOTHER WOMAN WHO AS ABOUT TO LEAVE THE GROUP BECAUSE SHE WAS AT THE END OF HER THERAPY AND SHE DIDN'T REALLY NEED ANY OTHER SESSIONS OR GROUP, AND THERE WAS ME IN WHICH I HAD ONLY STARTED THERAPY NOT LESS THAN TWO MONTHS. THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WAS THERE WAS THE THERAIST HAT WAS HOLDING THE GROUP. I QUIT AFTER THAT. I FELT MORE ALONE THAN EVER. I WISH THAT I CAN FEEL MORE INVOLVED REGARDING BEING A PART OF A GROUP.

Bayliss - 02/22/99 08:16:15
My Email:johnsontw@citcom.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: ?3-16

Comments:
I have found your site to be inspiring. I haven't had much luck finding someone to chat with. Hopefully later. Childhoods are precious and nobody should have theirs taken from them. Silence allows the monsters to thrive. Our voices deserve to be hear . Thank you for providing a place to be heard and to listen.

exvictim - 02/13/99 10:59:11
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/Falls/8171/
My Email:exvictim@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: rape
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): employer
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 16

Comments:
     A warrior needs to know healing.      - Richard Wagamese

Lorretta Woodbury - 02/11/99 19:53:20
My URL:http://www.LorrettaWoodbury.com
My Email:lawoodbury@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Incest Survivor
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes - My Father
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): Gang Raped by stranger(s) as a young adult
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7 years old

Comments:
This is a very good site!!!! I was quite taken by it. Keep up the good work. Caringly Lorretta

Claudine - 02/11/99 17:17:17
My Email:psycoco@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4 or 5 until 19 years old

Comments:
I've been coming to this site for 3 days now (coco76) and I find it very special.. Never talked about it since it stoped 3 years ago so it's hard but I welcome the support. I want to thank you for doing this. You must be pretty special. You inspired me tremendously. When I feel better, I hope to create a site similar to yours in french, for survivors in Québec (canada). There is notghing like that in french and it's too bas for people who dont speak english but need help. THANKS ! I hurt today but I hope to feel better tomorrow... coco

Tonya - 02/05/99 21:45:48
My URL:http://members.tripod.com/~PUNKY_BREWSTER
My Email:punkyB95@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4 years up to 9 years old

Comments:
I admire your cause and your page. I especially enjoyed reading your poetry. I can relate to poetry because I use mine to express my deepest feelings. Not all negative regarding my past. Some is about love and the positive things in my life.

Comments:
Hello I was sexually,emotionally,mentally,physically, and verbally abused by many people in my life. Thank god it is all over now. I tried to get on your list of poeple to list for others to contact, but could not, please add my addy so others can e-mail me who hAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS stuff. I am also going to e-mail o few of them. I have been through it all. I am willing to explain more if you want to know just e-mail me back at any time thank you for this site. Sincerely Angel

Jessy Miller - 02/05/99 08:02:02
My Email:TMillerJ@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): step-father

Comments:


Sheila - 02/03/99 21:12:20
My Email:childhood sexual abuse
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): step-parent
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3 to 16

Comments:
I have been looking for support on the internet because my therapist recommended it. I have been to several and this one feels the most comfortable and personal. I liked the Susan Smiles website as well.

john - 02/01/99 07:15:12
My Email:ShurlMorri@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 2-8

Comments:
Wow! Thanks for this beautiful place! INSPIRATIONAL is the word that comes to mind when I ask myself,"What is my feeling about all these stories, histories, openings/sharings of souls?" I am new to the internet and this is one of the first web pages I've isited. My story is a long long and painful one, but at the same time, my ability to speak it and learn from the telling gives me ever more strength and hope. I was incested by my father, sold into prostitution by my grandfather, raped by my grandfather, sexually abused by a babysitter, and somewhere around 12-13 years old started abusing myself (telling myself I was hopeless/beating myself up, smoking, drinkin , over-eating, etc).My journey through self-abuse lasted some 27 years. At last I broke down, surrendered, gave in to my terrible pain. I made a commitment to stop running from the nameless fear that was always biting at my heals. I stood still and began o face my demons. For a little over 4 years I've been walking a path of healing and recovery. No longer do I consider myself a victim. I am a SURVIVOR. My pain continues to teach me compassion. My fear contintues to teach me acceptance. My self-loathing c ntinues to teach me how to love and be loved. I consider myself lucky and blessed. Though I wouldn't go through what I endured as a child again, I believe that my pain has opened up my dreams and taught me how to live in my possibilities. By the way, for nyone who is interested, my healing process has been greatly assisted by a strong survivors of incest annonymous circle in the Pasadena, CA area. We have 4 meetings a week going on and the love and support and friendship at these meetings is incredible!!! Feel free to e-mail me if there's anyone out there in internet land that'd like more information. Again, thanks for this beautiful site! Much love and hope to all!

Echo - 01/31/99 21:24:11
My Email:ss141900@hope.edu
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: sexual abuse, incest
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one yes, one no
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): one yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-?

Comments:
I am trying to become a survivor, but I know that I am not there yet. I am in therapy and I work really hard trying to see that I have nothing to be ashamed of (that's what people tell me) but whe I remember the things that happened, I can only see mysel as that vile little girl who didn't try to stop it and let it go on for a really long time. I want to thank PBJQUEEN for being so supportive and welcoming me into the chat! {{{{PBJ}}}}}}

maddie_ellen - 01/20/99 22:24:36
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Fields/8385/index.html
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual and physical abuse and acquaintance date
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes, main one was
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbour
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3/4 to 8/9

Comments:
Great page, very inspiring. You've obviously put alot of time,effort and love into these pages. Thank you for listening.

Judith Ann Lee - 01/17/99 22:15:26
My URL:http://invisiblechild.tsx.org
My Email:InvisibleChild@WebTv.Net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: incest, childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: began at age 3

Comments:
Thanks for this wonderful WebPage! I have book-marked it and will be sending it to other surivor sisters and brothers - together we CAN stop the silence and are making a difference! I invite you to visit my WebPage, dedicated to survivors of Childhood S xual Abuse and Incest ... and keep up the great work here - I applaud your courage! -- Judith Ann Lee, Survivor/Advocate/Author

Kathy Peterson - 01/17/99 09:00:01
My Email:kathy4270@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: five

Comments:
I don't remember a whole lot of my childhood, growing up. What I do remember I would rather forget. My cousin not only took away my innocence, he also took away my childhood and the memories I had growing up. About six years ago, I started having flash acks and nightmares of the abuse, I thought I was losing my mind. When I started thinking of suicide, my family got me help. I was in therapy for over 3 years, but without it, I know I wouldn't be here today. Now, I am doing a lot better. I'm engaged to wonderful man. He is patient with me and very understanding. It took me awhile to tell him about the abuse, because I was afraid he would treat me different or want out of the relationship. He proved me wrong, and gave me a good reason to trust and love again. One thing I have learned is that you never get over from being sexually abused, you can't just turn the memories off until you feel strong enough to deal with them. You have to deal with them everyday. You have to learn to live with it, because even if we don't like it, it's a part of us. I've decided I am not going to let my cousin win this battle and take over my life again. This is the first time in my life that I can actually say I am happy. Why? ecause I have won this battle, and I am no longer a victim, but a survivor.

Jill - 01/15/99 07:58:16
My Email:WiseChild@juno.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: date rape
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 17 and 20

Comments:
I'm a little nervous about posting a message on the internet, but reading some other entries in the Survivors' Guest Book inspired me. It seems that most people who posted messages are survivors of childhood abuse. My first sexual experience was being rap d when I was 17 years old (my first boyfriend). I had a similar experience at age 20, though not nearly as violent as the first. I am now 28 and married and I really thought that once I got over the nightmares, the flashbacks, the compulsive sexual behav ors, that I was going to be "normal". But, now that I'm in a relationship with someone I know will never hurt me I don't seem to be capable of any sexual feelings toward him at all. Has anyone else gone through something like this?

Tam - 01/14/99 19:05:43
My URL:http://hotmail
My Email:tammycarie@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes and yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4 to 8

Comments:
I am a wreck. I cannot sleep and I am afraid I am experiencing more blackouts. Recently I had a blackout that caused me to lose my job. What I have done to my family is awful and I feel so much quilt it is overwhelming. Is there an end in sight? I com emplate suicide but I have two boys ages 4 and 2. I am very tired.

Bina Srinivasan - 01/12/99 19:35:52
My Email:binasr@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8-14

Comments:
After 26 years of silence and denial, I have finally found the courage to face upto what I have gone through and what I have stored in my consciousness. I have hugged dark unhappy secrets to myself, like a treasure; I have nearly destroyed myself in the rocess. Today, I am trying to confront all the emotions I have felt as a child, routinely abused. These memories have tortured me, they have made life miserable for me, they have made me feel like a complete failure, though I have had reasonable success s in life. I want to write about my experiences and to remove from my memories poison, the self destruction. Hopefully one day what I have written will help others like me to finally take control of their lives. It feels good to know that somebody out there cares to listen to what I feel, to recognize where I come from. Thanks.

Tonya - 01/09/99 11:20:34
My URL:http://Netscape??
My Email:tslanga@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood,acquaintance rape,rape,incest
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one was--my son
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-4,15,17,28

Comments:
I am seeing a counselor. Sometimes I feel like it helps, sometimes I don't. Today is a bad day for me. I am looking for someone to talk to. I can't seem to sleep. It is 6 am now--another sleepless night. My husband gets mad or hurt or frustated when I don't come to bed. He tries to understand what is going on with me, but I really don't think that he does. I feel like I am losing him. He always seems to be angry at me lately. Thank you for your time and I hope that someone will talk to me soon. am glad that I found your site.

Amina - 01/09/99 00:59:22
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/Resort/9066/
My Email:amina75@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: victim of childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 12 to 14

Comments:
I think your homepage is great! I am a 23 year old girl from Sweden that was abused from the age 12 to 14. I have made a homepage, it's both in Swedish and English. You are welcome to visit it. Amina

pbjqueen - 01/07/99 18:08:35
My Email:pbjqueen3@ivillage.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes to all three
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): some of them were, some were not
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): some yes, some no
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): unfortunately some were this too
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): some were to this too
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: before age six until after I quit college

Comments:
I have now been living in your website for over three months. You have awed me, inspired me, and made me think. Thanks so much. {{{{{{{{{{{Marlana}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Debi - 01/06/99 16:23:25
My Email:debigag@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): older brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: btween about 7-11 yrs.

Comments:
I found this web site in a woman's magazine. I had hoped to find some answers and support. I was abused by my oldwer brother for about 4 years. I love my brother to death now and always have. That is where my problems lie. I love him but hate what he did o me as a child. I think I feel confortable enough to write to some of the others. Perhaps that will help. 25 years is a long time to struggle with an unhappy life.

Karen - 01/03/99 02:38:18
My Email:kbourque1@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): parents church friend
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 10

Comments:
I did not remember the one time sexual abuse until I was 19 or 20 years old. Thinking back, I now know why my behavior was like it was during my teen years. I can't forget what he did and it interferes with my sex life with my husband. I'm afraid if I eek professional help,it will mean I am weak.

noogie - 12/28/98 18:48:59
My Email:noogie61@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: all of the above
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes, my father
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): one was a male babysitter
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): 4 of them were
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3 yrs. old to 18 yrs. old

Comments:
This site is a wonderful safe site. I am still exploring all of its many facets and am dumbfounded by the fact that I was not the only one who has went thru this hell. I applaud you Marlana for putting this site together, you must have a lot of courage an truly care.

lost - 12/09/98 03:26:48
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7-10

Comments:
i dont know if i survive i just exist

Dia - 12/09/98 01:06:43
My Email:dia_moore@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): I don't know for sure
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes ,police
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): one time a stranger
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-16

Comments:
It has been a long time but I don't really know if I am a survivor.

Mic - 11/27/98 04:46:18
My Email:jen-eric@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7 or 8-14

Comments:
I was sexually abused by my Grandfather. I id not tel anyone until I was 31. (1997) It was hard at first, but I am making progress. Glad I found this site.

Julie Secrist - 11/26/98 06:09:31
My Email:julies@mis.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-12

Comments:
Hi my name is Julie Secrist and I am a survivor of sexual abuse. It started when I was 4 years old and continued until I was 12 years old. I had multible abusers. I'm doing alot better than I was. Sometimes it still hurts but it's getting better. I've been reading your survivor stories and I know how each one of them feel because I have been there. I really like your website and I have it bookmarked so I can visit it often. You'll probably be hearing from me again.

Teresa - 11/20/98 15:33:49
My Email:Paxill@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes,several
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6-18 and again at 31

Comments:
I'm trying to see myself as a survivor but, I must admitt the dark way out of suicide still looks pretty good. My meds keep me from doing it, but, the thoughts are still there. Which really sucks cause I have a beautiful family. Trying so hard to make it, your stories give me hope. Thanks, TJV

jade - 11/19/98 02:05:24
My Email:jade2u2@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): brother & father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3 to 12 years old

Comments:
I have been working on these issues for apx. 6 years now but had never started on the issues with my father untill the last 4 months. I have so much anger it scares me. I do not want to stuff anymore.I do not want to drink over it - I just want to heal in the best way I know how.Thanks

jade - 11/19/98 02:04:50
My Email:jade2u2@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): brother & father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3 to 12 years old

Comments:
I have been working on these issues for apx. 6 years now but had never started on the issues with my father untill the last 4 months. I have so much anger it scares me. I do not want to stuff anymore.I do not want to drink over it - I just want to heal in the best way I know how.Thanks

Jessica - 11/17/98 03:37:27
My Email:sorryer@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): a father and brother
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): foster-father and brother
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): YES
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-15

Comments:
I really need you're help! if you could please email me! I loved you're page keep it up! my ICQ number is 23105071 or you can put me on you're buddy list under SoRrYeR that is AOL! Well buh bye! ~(8><8)~ mouses kissing

Sarah - 11/17/98 03:28:20
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Child sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-5

Comments:
I want to cry, but I can't.

Joanne - 11/11/98 13:01:13
My Email:jlvw@coastalnet.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 7-12 years old

Comments:
My pain and shame nearly killed me 14 years ago,putting it behind me each day I accept that my experience has made me who I am today and from it the strength and wisdom to put one foot infront of the other and live.

Renee Buchholz - 11/11/98 06:00:36
My Email:rtbfrederick@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: incest
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): step-brothers
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: not sure, between 2 and 10 I think blocked it out

Comments:


10/28/98 13:07:55

Name: Bad Bunny	My URL: Visit Me
My Email: Email Me

Comments:
Just surfing Thanks

SOJOURNER - 10/21/98 07:42:26
My URL:http://Netscape
My Email:magic@netscape.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: sexual abuse by a cult
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): My oldest sister and my uncle
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): some were in the cult
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): Some were in the cult
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 2or 3 to age 13

Comments:
I am so glad there is something like this out here. Today was my first day chatting and it felt so good to talk with people who could understand me. What a wonderful place this is...Thank you!!!!

cindy - 10/14/98 14:24:33
My Email:hutch179@aol.com
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: infant-17yrs

Comments:
i come to this page and cry so i must not be as far along as i suspected.i also married abusers,mostly physical.my second husband abused,sexualy,my daughter,it was easy to knok how to handle this,i did the opposite of what wass done for me.i moved him out within an hour,prosicuted him,got conseling for my children.i harbor alot of guilt and will never be able to trust again.the guilt is from now and before. i tell my daughter it was not her fault and that he is a sick man but i know deep down you need to b leive yourself first.

Jennie - 10/14/98 02:00:38
My Email:acforbes@eburg.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): uncle, cousin
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8-13

Comments:
I would like to speak with other survivors via the internet, however I am a not all that fimiliar with chat rooms and I am open for any suggestions. I currently see a counselor and have for several years. I would like to speak with others who may be able elate and share ideas for coping and recovering. Thank You, Jennie

David Corson - 10/07/98 18:54:21
My URL:http://www.planar.com
My Email:david_corson@planar.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8-11 years old

Comments:
It destroyed me.

- 09/19/98 04:43:56

Comments:


ron - 09/19/98 04:33:53
My Email:rondh@earthlink.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual rape
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): uncle
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6-13

Comments:
I am a 31 year old male, married and a father of two girls. I am having problems dealing with the abuse. i.e. bouts of depression, thoughts of suicide, anger towards my wi

Vincent.B - 09/18/98 05:44:57
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: CSA
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Family Friend
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): Counselor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-15 and 21

Comments:
I was sexually abused by a family friend and when I went for counselling, my therapist sexually abused me also. I'm struggling.

Michelle Pickering - 09/17/98 09:46:31
My Email:mpcklas@eisa.net.au
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): step-father
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friends of step-father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8 yrs to 15 yrs

Comments:
I feel that I have successfully continued with my life (I'm 38 now), but at times wonder if the abuse is the cause of some of my depression, loneliness and the general downtimes that I sometimes have. I have gotten past the revenge at all costs and feel hat I AM A SURVIVOR

Michelle Pickering - 09/17/98 09:28:15
My Email:mpcklas@eisa.net.au
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): step-father
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friends of step-father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8 yrs to 15 yrs

Comments:
I feel that I have successfully continued with my life (I'm 38 now), but at times wonder if the abuse is the cause of some of my depression, loneliness and the general downtimes that I sometimes have. I have gotten past the revenge at all costs and feel hat I AM A SURVIVOR

Cindy - 09/10/98 07:35:56 My URL:http://www.0001011.com/users/cindy My Email:cinth@usa.net comment: Nice page.... please come visit my site :-) Thanks, Cindy

Comments:

Lynn - 09/08/98 20:07:30
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 12

Comments:


Sara - 09/08/98 11:50:50
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): Step Father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5 to 12 years

Comments:


Sara - 09/08/98 11:47:15

Comments:


Debra - 09/05/98 18:25:39
My Email:debra103@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6-13

Comments:
Your site is great, it has finally given me hope that I will survive. I've been silent for 12 years thinking if I forgot it would all go away. I am taking my first steps to becoming a survivor. Thank you.

Natalie - 09/04/98 13:38:59
My Email:n_dubinko@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7-15

Comments:
Although I've had a pretty rough childhood, I'm so proud of how much I've accomplished since I decided to keep this abuse a secret no more. I feel like a different person. What really helped is that my abuser got ten years in prison since I was a minor. That has helped immensely in the healing process. Although I'm only 20, I've come a long way, and I thank god every day.

Deneane - 08/29/98 03:55:03
My Email:neaners@deskmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood abuse and rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): childhood abuse was by my babysitter; he was living with us
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): I was raped by a person I met that same night
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: From 4-5 and 16

Comments:
I was really glad to find this web site. I was too scared to get counseling, so I am hoping that this will lead me in the right direction. I feel that I do have the capability of seeing myself as a complete survivor, it will just take time. If anybody would like to talk, feel free to e-mail me. I will talk to whover wants or needs to. Thanks again.

Jennifer - 08/28/98 07:38:58
My URL:http://www.homestead.com/maketheworldabetterplace/index.html
My Email:jenlynn@rocketmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: To be honest-all of the above
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): all were except for the date rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): a couple were
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-18(incest) 20-date rape/gang rape

Comments:
Great site! I have bookmarked it and will come back often! Please if you read this go to my site address listed above-it is really new(10 days old) and I would appreciate any feedback!(and sign my guest book too!)I am also open to email comments at the ad ress listed above.Thank you! "if you hear my voice I will rise"-my motto

David Corson - 08/27/98 16:39:13
My Email:david_corson@planar.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8-11

Comments:
Survival is an extremely tough thing to deal with.

Kim - 08/23/98 01:55:54
My Email:KAHHL@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: y/1-11yrs old/stpfthr
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): step-father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 1-11

Comments:
I am a survivor Lately I feel I am slipping over the edge. I am unsure why it is now so many years later, after I have dealt with these issues allready. I think I need to talk about these feelings, of beeing out of control.

Joye Konig - 08/21/98 08:30:02
My Email:scottjoye@gbso.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: both
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one was one wasn't
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: ?-15 years old, then again at 19

Comments:
I used to consider myself a survivor, one who had it all together. Now I'm not so sure. To me sex is just something that is required of a wife, and enjoying it anymore is not so easy. My poor husband has no idea about what my father did to me as a chil until I finally made him quit when I was fifteen. He does know though of the time I was raped. How could he not when I have a daughter as proof of that testimony. He is daddy to her and has been since she was a year and a half. She is fourteen now, a d mixed feelings about telling her the truth is all to crazy in this mixed up mind of mine. I forgave both my father and my daughter's father years ago, but it doesn't do anything for the confusion that has entered my life now. I don't understand why, w en it has been so long ago that now I find myself continuously thinking about all that has happened in my life sexually. How when I was a teenager I thought I could make a man love me just by giving into his wants and needs. And now when I do have a man who really loves me and cares for me and has for several years, I find myself in some sort of inner turmoil. It makes very little sense to me. I only want it to go away. When the abuse stopped all those years ago I found a way to forgive my father. Ev n now I find myself able to talk to him like a normal person. But even today he puts distance between us, I guess because he feels guilty for what he did and it more than likely irritates him that I treat him normally. I will be 35 this January. 20 yea s has past since he last touched me, but for some unknown reason it still haunts me. I find it comes to me in the strangest times and places and each time is like I feel and see it all over again. Is it ok to hate even after one has forgiven? Is it ok o hate even though it is your father you are fast learning to hate? He and my mother asked for my fourteen year old daughter to come stay with them for the summer and I refused giving lame excuses, but all the while knowing the real reason was I don't tr st my father even after all these years. Well I am sorry for taking up so much of your time and space, but tonight I really needed to air some of my mind and heart. My husband is a truck driver and thank goodness he wasn't home this evening for if he was he might have very well seen my father i a whole new light. And after all these years of silence about this I don't know if he would really understand now. Thank you for having this sight and this comment section. Maybe now I can sleep a little before daybreak. Thank you again for listening, Joye

Stephen B Boudreau - 08/12/98 05:21:20
My Email:sbboudreau@snet.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): church related/scouting advisor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 12 to 15

Comments:
help is out there for people who can realize what really happened.it takes great courage to just think (I was a victem).you have a nice set-up on the net, good job! thanks for doing what most cant. stephen b boudreau

Dove - 08/11/98 21:13:19
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/heartland/pointe/8041
My Email:photopro_not@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-8 (not totally sure), 9-10, and 18-19

Comments:
This is a great page... I look forward to chatting with some of the people here (if I can ever find someone in chat LOL)... It is so nice to know that you are not alone... Unfortunately there are too many of us out there. Keep up the good work on this page.. I know that you have put a lot into it. ~Dove~

Mike I Savad - 08/11/98 00:19:11
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Paris/1141/
My Email:morn@nac.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: nope

Comments:

Hey nice site!!! Well done!!! Keep up the good work... Hey why don't you come visit my page.

Visit:
Mike's Stained Glass it contains tips, techniques, photos, stained glass projects, observations and other knowledge he has gained in his 16 years of experience doing stained glass.

Merry - 08/10/98 23:28:22
My Email:Scotty@SOTA-oh.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-7

Comments:
I have been in therapy for about 5 months dealing with the sexual and emotional abuse that my father inflicted on me. Tonight I'm doing ok. Normally, my emotions are very irratic. I appreciate sites like this one that makes me feel less isolated.

Sammy - 08/10/98 07:12:45
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Incest/torture/cult abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): father,mother,grandfather
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): eventually
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): teacher
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 9 months - ongoing

Comments:


tamara - 08/03/98 02:13:45
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friend of the family
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 16-21

Comments:
Will this nightmare ever end? I want to be a surviver too!

brenda jarnol - 07/31/98 01:05:38
My Email:bjarnol@rose.net.
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: child sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: up to 16

Comments:
30 Jul 98 just got a computer been through years of therapy willing to help others I'm really not sure how to work this machine I can answer letters stories do not overwhelm me or shock me I've dealt with ptsd multiple suicide self abuse, cutting and burning and everything else that you are stuck with when you survive this Aug 3 is my three year aniversary of no self abuse take care Brenda

Terrie-lynn - 07/30/98 19:37:35
My URL:http://?
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Chidhood
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5-16

Comments:
MY history of childhood sexual abuse lead to a adult life of physical and emotional abuse. It is only what came naturally to me. I then started to abuse my own children.This is when I finally got some help.Years of therapy have helped very much, but to this day I have a deep distrust and dislike of almost all men! I wonder how many women are left feeling really bitter even after extensive therapy?

Heather - 07/24/98 23:03:48
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Pointe/5733/
My Email:hfairley@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse (from my grandma till I was 15), and date rape (at age 18)

Comments:
Cool page. I hope many who come here find solace and friendship with other survivors... I finally feel like i am out of the woods and it is SO nice!!! I don't mind if anyone wants to send me a quick email, but don't know if I have the time to pen pal... Good luck to all. Healing IS possible.

Cygne - 07/24/98 09:39:25
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/SoHo/Atrium/3793
My Email:lleeb@oocities.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: incest and others..in childhood
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes, and others
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: toddler to age 17

Comments:
I LOVE your site...there is so very much here, to comfort and encourage and inform...I have not been through all of it, but I am coming back. Thank you so much for sharing, and being here for us. It is obvious that you care about US. Thank you.

valerie - 07/23/98 03:38:19
My Email:VJD576@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-17

Comments:


sherry - 07/12/98 16:26:36
My URL:http://www.mindspring.com/~littledove
My Email:littledove@mindspring.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes Childhood and Sra
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes parents and uncle
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: infant to 20

Comments:
This is a great place we are just now starting to break the silence and tell our story we are 41 and Survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse and much torturebut we also are fighters and will not let them win . please stop by and visit us at Sherry's Healing Place please sign our guestbook and link to us if u like http://www.mindspring.com/~littledove

- 07/11/98 02:11:41
My Email:SAffolder1
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 14 years old

Comments:
Hello, I am 51 years old and am just now comint to terms with a abuse that took place when I was 14 years old. It is just now coming into focus. I am now trying to find other forms of support beyond Rape Crisis. Thus I found you ! Sandy

- 07/11/98 02:09:15
My Email:SAffolder1
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 14 years old

Comments:
Hello, I am 51 years old and am just now comint to terms with a abuse that took place when I was 14 years old. It is just now coming into focus. I am now trying to find other forms of support beyond Rape Crisis. Thus I found you ! Sandy

Miki E. Wemhoff - 07/08/98 23:08:53
My URL:http://web. camasnet.com
My Email:idaswcd@camasnet.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: between 1 and 12 yrs

Comments:
I am 43 yrs old and just spoke out 3 years ago. My family has deemed me crazy, my father would not do something like that! It has been a long, and at times lonely journey, but I have received encouragement from other survivors, people I would not have d eamed were abused. We need to speak out more and make society aware of this crime. We cannot continue to be silent.

Shawna - 07/06/98 19:30:02
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Estates/1843
My Email:truth.shawna@prodigy.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes and no
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): babysitter
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): no
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: explain later

Comments:
I was a victim of child sexual abuse and then teen rape only to later get into a relationship that was violent so I was also a victim of demostic violence. Now I'm on the road to healing and am sharing my life. I was confused to were your story was? Well 'll go back and look:)

Comments:
I am always looking for great pages to add to our resources in The Survivors Forum on CompuServe (GO SAFEPLACE). Your site is very comprehensive, thank you!

Anyone interested in survivor issues can sign up for a free email newsletter from The Survivors Forum on CompuServe by sending an email with SUBSCRIBE in the body to survivors@oaknetpub.com. Keep in touch with us! It's free!

Alyssa - 06/30/98 22:09:32
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/~asiah
My Email:asiah@concentric.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes

Comments:
Thanks for the support. Its just reassuring to know their are other survivors out there. We cannot deny and minimize sexual abuse. It is so serious and effects so many lives. By denying and minimizing, you risk passing the misery on to your children. I have vowed never to do that.

Tania Burney - 06/27/98 01:08:59
My Email:Waikaremoana@xtra.co.nz.
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes, all
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-21

Comments:
Yes I'm a survivor, a mother of 5 children, a student, a caring person and with a passion for life in my world of sometimes dispare.

TJ - 06/21/98 05:27:15
My Email:tjkremp@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: from 5-13 y.o.

Comments:
Need help,want all the help I/we can get. Need others who understand and care.

Katie - 06/17/98 22:56:49
My Email:superkate26@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): It was my adoptive parents, but I was adopted at birth
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): several family freinds and church members, I suspect my parents got paid
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): I was abused by my fifth grade teacher
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: From less than a year until I turned 17 (At the end of April)

Comments:


- 06/16/98 01:20:20

Comments:


AGhostwriter - 06/15/98 23:16:16
My URL:http://AGHOSTWRITER.COM
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes

Comments:
Very interesting site you have here. I really enjoyed my visit. Thanks.

Linda - 06/15/98 19:18:46
My URL:http://NONE YET
My Email:ldelayen@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: starting when I was 4

Comments:
I stumbled upon your site while surfing, and your story brought tears to my eyes. I could understand exactly what you were saying. That I found your site when I did is also amazing, because just three weeks ago, I wrote my story to a dear soulmate who i helping me tremendously. I've had 50 years to deal with this in one form or another (I just turned 54), and I can't honestly say I'm always in control of what it has done to me--but I'm working on it day by day! Thank you so much for this site! I've only read a few of the stories, because I can only take so much at any one time, but will eventually read them all, and then add my own. You are a brave and wonderful woman! Linda

Helen of LS - 06/12/98 23:44:44
My URL:http://www.angelfire.com/hi/herdreaming/
My Email:l_sheep@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-6

Comments:
Thankyou for this truly awesome site. You are touching many lives through it.

vil - 06/12/98 19:47:12
My Email:vilified@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yep
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): adopted cousin...
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: dont remember...

Comments:
just wanted to say your page has a lot of good information... it kept my interest for a few hours and i have a very short attention span...

Linda Halliday-Sumner - 06/09/98 05:58:58
My URL:http://mars.ark.com/~allyn
My Email:allyn@mars.ark.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: all
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): father/grandfather
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): date/neighbor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6 to 19

Comments:
I was very angry when I began my journey of recovery but angry at the lack of services, not so much at what happened to me. I was able to turn that anger into positive energy in that I became an outspoken advocate for the rights of victims/survivors. I lso have four generations of sexual abuse in my family but have been able to break that cycle with this fifth generation. I have 8 grandaughters and 1 grandson, ranging in age from a few months to age 16 and none have been abused. I believe it isn't so uch what happens to you in your life as what you do with those experiences that really count in the end. It all takes time. I enjoyed my visit to your site.

Donald Floyd Walker - 06/05/98 23:07:37
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: C.S.A,
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): Step father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4/5 till the age of 9/10

Comments:
I am trying to get the laws changed so these creatures cannot repeatidly seek out new victoms.I am starting a letter campain and will send copy my next visit as I am about out of time.We must as survivors do all that is possible to see that No child suffe s as I/we did!

deafdebbie - 06/03/98 19:54:53
My Email:DebFimrite@eudoramail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Married to a blood relative
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: age 4 to 20

Comments:
I am so greatful for your forum. It's so important to connect with other survivors, something I've been missing for a long time. And this is very accessible to me as I am deaf. Cheers!!! DeafDebbie

Sandy - 06/03/98 02:57:58
My Email:sschumacher@opportunity.org
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: child sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-9

Comments:
I need help coming to terms with my abue. Please e-mail me.

Angela Albright - 06/01/98 22:07:56
My Email:CrzyMe@msn.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood and beyond
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes Grandfather (Paternal)
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes some were
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes one was
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-35

Comments:
I was trained so well by my grand father (from age 3) that many have found me easy to abuse. I never fight, or yell, or scream (well I do scream but I never make a sound while I do so, some things once taught are never forgotten) or tell. The last attack as at work, behind a store I managed, I was leaving it was late, dark I was raped first time of a stranger attack still I have never told. An Alter told my Therapist last month, and my husband. It was over 3 years ago, but the most of me hasn't been able o work from then on and I held a great job that I loved. I wish the triggers and memories would just all go away, give me back my life. I was doing ok, really. I made all the major dessions for 2 resturants, 3 stores, and 1 repair shop I was the one in ch rge. Now I can't deside what to wear, for sometimes weeks on end I can not step one foot outside my door. I want my life back. I'm sorry I am just so lost. Sorry I bothered you.

red - 05/28/98 20:20:54
My Email:fireandice2000
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: all of these
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): one was
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-6,13-24yrs

Comments:
This is the best sight I've found.I,m not great with complicated stuff these days!This has been refreshing!(I,m new with this computer too.)I will be back to do a longer visit next time.

Mel Minter - 05/28/98 03:39:07
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Wellesley/2236
My Email:Melo0110@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes, childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes ~ father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: began at age four

Comments:
I love your website, keep up the good work!!!!!

Mel Minter - 05/28/98 03:34:59
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Wellesley/2236
My Email:Melo0110@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes, childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes ~ father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: began at age four

Comments:
I love your website, keep up the good work!!!!!

carole baggett - 05/28/98 01:40:44
My URL:http://www.
My Email:ziplock@network-one.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3 years i think

Comments:
i have only had my computer for about a month and this is the best site i have found. thank you!thank you! thank you!

april - 05/27/98 17:04:37
My Email:wolfea@citrine.indstate.edu
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friend of the family
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: the first time 3 or 4, the second time between 6 and 8

Comments:


Sue Williams - 05/26/98 21:18:28
My Email:childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): father and brother
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): family member
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: All through my childhood

Comments:
I run an online discussion group for survivors AND those who care about us. If anyone is interested in joining they are welcome to contact me. hawkfan@ozramp.net.au

Linda - 05/16/98 18:37:28
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/southbeach/shores/5882
My Email:linniegirl81@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): One of them was.
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Two of them were.
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6-9

Comments:
Thank you for this page, it is a wonderful service and tool for anybody who has survived or wants to survive the trauma of sexual abuse! Thank you very much!

jane - 05/14/98 16:36:12
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childsexabuse and rape
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighborsparents
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6?-15? and 19

Comments:
i wish i had all the answers to offer..... ive been working since i was 17, on and off, when i could handle a flashback etc, when i could cope or wasnt dissociating like mad. always wishing i would be "done". but i am grateful for how far i have come, a d will keep on keepin on - and hope we all do together, and never allow it again. your kindred, Connie

Gayle - 05/14/98 12:48:34
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/2402/
My Email:gaylecrab@mindspring.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Rape

Comments:
Thank you for this awe inspiring site. I know how hard it is and how therapeutic it is to have so much of yourself available on the web. Yours in the fight to heal, Gayle

Randa - 05/11/98 23:42:15
My Email:STEALTH158@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes my Grandafther
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: It started when I was 5-6

Comments:
I am battling everyday to get my life back I am 19 years old and I am still haunted with nightmares. My family was tore apart. I lived with this for 9 years of my life in silence.

laura - 05/10/98 18:02:20
My Email:llb4@prodigy.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 3-16 years old

Comments:
i am still trying to deal with the anger of being abused. the anger ruint my marriage and now i am divorced. how do you get rid of the anger for good? i am open to any suggestions or comments. i also having to deal with the guilt and shame. i am in a upport group now and that has helped. sometimes i feel like the only one who has ever suffered. it is nice to know that there others who know what i am experiencing.

Catherine - 05/07/98 21:05:04
My Email:csealer@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhool sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes, father and older brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4 years until 12

Comments:
At this point, my father has just accepted what his actions caused me to live through. I can't seem to get anywhere near forgiveness or understanding. I still consider myself a victim, over ten years since the abuse ended.

most - 05/03/98 22:57:53
My Email:iharris@kih.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): adoptive father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8 through 12

Comments:
When I was too young to know what was going on I "learned" from an alcoholic father who was aggressive and just plain mean. Fear and hate were the words I knew, unfortunately they are still a big part of my life. Even after being happily married for 27 ears my husband knows only that I was raped by father, nothing else.

Beverly Matthews - 05/02/98 17:28:27
My Email:BeverlyBoo@webtv.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: 1959-1968
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): father
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 6 years to 15 years old

Comments:
Becouce of the theraphy he las5t 6 years i am now antisocial.NO friends.What can i do know!!!

Devetaki - 04/29/98 23:55:33
My Email:devetaki2@yahoo.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes and no
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes also
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7-14 and 19

Comments:
if survivorship means total healing... then no im not a survivor... if it means then i haven't let sexual abuse and rape conquer me then i suppose i am a survivor.... i will not let them win and i will not allow them to further destroy me, because after m ny years i've come to love myself, and they cant take that away....ever again.. Dev.

Tricia - 04/26/98 03:17:38
My Email:FFRJMWIFE@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 13 yrs old

Comments:


Tammy Germain - 04/25/98 22:33:16
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: Yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): Yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 13

Comments:


Melanie - 04/22/98 03:09:15
My Email:Meliac129@aol.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: sexual abuse/rape
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): step mother/step father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 9-13 and 18

Comments:
Talking to people in this forum is new to me. I am finding it to be helpful. Thanks.

shawn walechka - 04/20/98 20:02:00
My Email:swalechka@uplogon.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7 to 24 years of age

Comments:
i am a survivor it has been a long road for me but im still here to tell my story, and too let other survivors know that they to can make it through this hell with the help of other survivors that do beleave them. someday i will be a victor!!!!!!! in all this mess.

Cee - 04/20/98 19:44:56
My Email:Palmer
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): brother in law
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 7-10

Comments:
I'm 28 and just beginning therapy and looking for other support.

chris wong - 04/19/98 22:41:52
My Email:wongski@setnet.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): foster
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5yrs

Comments:


Kat - 04/16/98 17:32:39
My Email:kestril@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: CSA, date rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor

Comments:
Love your website! I've been reading the forum for a couple of days, and visited the chat room last night. You guys are all great! I'm looking forward to being brave enough to participate.

Becki - 04/11/98 17:20:32
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: csa
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): y, older brother
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 8-18

Comments:
i found this site through anet search and really had a good time talking to people last night, you'll see more of me.

- 04/11/98 05:16:27

Comments:


Nikki - 04/06/98 21:34:07
My URL:http://students.ou.edu/B/Nikki.J.Bowsher-1/home.html
My Email:dizzyladybug@ou.edu
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one may have been
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 1st time don't know for sure, but most likely under the age of four. 2nd time, 6-12 years old.

Comments:
Hello, I was 12 1/2 years old when my abuse stoped. Here I am 21 just now starting to deal with it. This would make my ninth year of being free of sexual abuse. I am still fighting and sometimes I feel like a survivor, while other times, I feel like a vict m. However, I do know that 9 years is not long enough to heal if you were not ready to deal with these issues. My step mom is in her late forties and she still is dealing with her childhood adbuse. Yet, she is a strong woman now. She is not suicidal anymore and has stopped drinking to make herself forget. She still has major memory blockages, though. Several people have heard parts of my life story that are on the survivor chat line. I will share what I can remember. Memories started back again last night (4-5-98), so I do remember more. Thank goodness that I did not have bad dreams like I though I might. My mind was thinking about a different subject by the time I fell asleep. I don't have a true blockage like most people have. It is not like I can't remember everything that happened from a certain age to birth. I just don't remember the event. My memories start from the time I was an infant. This confuses most therapist a d make them not believe me. But, I know this was real. I just have a good long term memory. There is a slight blank spot from the time I was a little less then one, about crawling age, to 2 1/2 years old. So, I believe my abuse occurred when I was almost one and defently under four. I know I was under four because in one of my memories of rem mbering, I was four. According to my sister, for almost two years, I never said anything except momma and pat my grandmother on the cheeks. My memories are that I was in one of the rooms in my Great Uncle's home. His daughter use to babysitt me, or was it his granddaughter. In the room I would sleep in in his home is where it happened. It was dark, so I have never seen who the person is. Or at least it was dark in my memories. The only thing I could make out was a hand. Just last night (4-5-98), I had a momery come back of my grandfarther's old spice triggering a memory when I was most likely a tot. I remember thinking about how Jerry, my great uncle, is the one that would hurt me, not my grandfarther. I still don't know if he is the one that hurt me. As far as I know, I could just be filling in a face that I know the least. I don't trust all of my memories when it comes to who it might have been, but I would say that it is a 90% maybe higher odds that it was Jerry. On a nice spring day when I was only six, my step brother decided to play a game with me. It was a game to teach me how babies are made. For the two of us at that time, it was just a game. As I got older, I began to feel unfortable playing these games. Then, I stopped wanting him to play. That is when he started finding ways to f rce me. But I would also work on finding ways to stop him mainly of going all the way. He never did secceed in going all the way, but he did hurt me and touch me when I did not want to be. This finally ended when I was twelve and lied to him. I told him t at I was afraid that I might get pregnant. That scared him but there would have been no way I could have a baby and I knew that at the time. Also, I kicked him hard where it hurts to give him the message to leave me alone. When we were both in our teens, my step brother came to me and told methat he was sorry for hurting me and that he would never do it again. Here he was talking about not only the sexual abuse, but also that he would chase me with knives and try to ki l me (or at least make me believe he was) even before I was six. So far, he has kept his promise, but I still fear being alone with him, sometimes, althought I have forgiven him as long as he does not hurt me again or I find out that he has hurt someone e se. Even more shocking is that my step brother is 3 1/2 years older then me making him nine when he first touched me in a sexual way. I found out later that he had been sexually abused by his teacher in kindagarden when he was only six. Now, I am trying to remember that I am strong. I want to live and I am fighting to make sure I do. I am scared of becoming suicidal again. The thought will still cross my mind and I have to remind myself that this is not the best answer. I don't know what life will bring me after death. What is life after death is worse for me? I need to learn how to deal with this pain while I am on earth. That way, maybe my life after death will be peaceful when the time comes that God, a higher power, or what ever one may believes controls this takes my life on earth. I will use this time on earth to heal so that I can have peace in the future. Take care everyone. (((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

Jocelyn - 04/04/98 06:22:11
My URL:http://members.spree.com/jocelyn
My Email:jocelyn_stewart@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: date rape
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 16

Comments:
oh here yo are again haunting me again hurting me again killing me again and always when I am alone you always come when I have no one there to knock you down and hold me when I am lonely, which seems all too often I wish that arms would grow out of my lonely bed, reach out and hold me in my sleep maybe that would keep you away maybe that would dry you up There is really no reason for you to be here anyway you don't belong

Shandra Pedersen - 04/04/98 04:58:23
My Email:shandrapedersen@usa.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 14-16

Comments:
my abuser was my brother-in-law. I am still coming to terms with it. I repressed what he did to me for 8 long years. When my husband's sister was raped a few months ago all of my memories came back. I have spent a week in the psych unit of a local hos ital. I am going to survive. He will not win, because I am no longer silent.

Susan - 04/03/98 20:23:29
My URL:http://www.msn.com
My Email:maylesworth.msn.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 2-12

Comments:
I is nice to have found a place where I could get information, feel on common ground. However, I am also fearful of stalkers looking for former victims.

Cindy - 04/02/98 14:58:55
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): father
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: infant to 12

Comments:
I am so glad there is a place to come to to talk.I've been in therapy for 5 yrs.and thought I was finished but boy was I wrong cause the triggers are greater than ever.

Tina - 04/01/98 00:20:14
My Email:starwars1@prodogy.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one,yes many no
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes,all
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor,babysitter
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: infant to 14 years old

Comments:
I have been coming to this room for 3 weeks now, and have found everyone to be a great support system. Thank you for the thought that you put into this.

Tina - 04/01/98 00:20:12
My Email:starwars1@prodogy.net
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): one,yes many no
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): yes,all
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): neighbor,babysitter
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: infant to 14 years old

Comments:
I have been coming to this room for 3 weeks now, and have found everyone to be a great support system. Thank you for the thought that you put into this.

Marion - 03/29/98 09:52:01
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Athens/Forum/9962/
My Email:hitz@netway.at
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: yes, sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): Step-Grandfather
Was your abuser a step- or foster-family member? (If not, please leave blank.): yes
Was your abuser a neighbor, teacher, coach, counselor, etc.? (If not, please leave blank.): no
Was your abuser a stranger? (If not, please leave blank.): no

Comments:
I WAS a victim... I AM a surivor.

Katy - 03/28/98 20:00:12
My Email:gto5@hotmail.com
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse
Was your abuser a blood-relative? (If not, please leave blank.): my father
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 5???-14???

Comments:
So glad you're here, Marlana--both your site and you personally. You stay involved with the site and I like that.>>>>>>>>Because I forgot a lot about the abuse until after my parents died (and I was safe!) and because my father was more nurturing than my mother in a lot of ways, my feelings about Daddy are complicated. My therapist is experienced with incest survivors and has been accepting of *all* my feelings. That acceptance and her listening to my story has lifted enormous amounts of anger, grief, e c. off my body. I still have a lot of work to do, but this site has helped make my life better in so many ways since March 6, 1998. I'm grateful for everyone here every day.

windsong - 03/21/98 23:53:30
Were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse, date/acquaintance rape, or rape?: childhood sexual abuse & date rape
Was your abuser a personal friend or a friend of the family? (If not, please leave blank.): friend of the family.... date rape was my fiance at the time
How old or what age-range were you when the abuse took place?: 4-11 -- 19 for the date rape

Comments:
thankyou

missy - 03/19/98 18:21:51
Are you a Survivor?: no

Comments:


Torn Soul - 03/18/98 21:08:42
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Athens/Academy/7664
My Email:jmiller@phxlink.net
Are you a Survivor?: ????

Comments:
Your page is cool....i enjoyed the poetry....keep it up...

abiclark(aka crescentmoon) - 03/10/98 11:03:08
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/2511
My Email:amjc197@soton.ac.uk
Are you a Survivor?: yes, rape and buggery

Comments:
Thanks so much for this wonderful page, you are doing a great job. xxx

SCOTT - 03/10/98 05:04:35
My Email:scottybgood@prodigy.net
Are you a Survivor?: every day

Comments:
I ENJOYED MY STAY KEEP ON KEEPIN ON

TJ - 03/10/98 03:47:03
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Athens/Oracle/3481
My Email:preciousmemory@oocities.com
Are you a Survivor?: yes.

Comments:
I am permanately changed by my experience as are all of us ... Thank you for giving me a voice and even though I still hide behind it. I have begun to heal. and even share my experience with others. whom I have learned to trust through their kindness and atience toward me.

Gayle - 03/07/98 15:56:53
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/2402
My Email:gaylecrab@mindspring.com
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
Your page is beautiful. Thank you for creating a page so packed with information. I was really impressed by visiting here and would like to exchange links. Keep up the hard work! :) In Surviving, Gayle

most - 03/03/98 14:16:23
My Email:iharris@kih.net
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
this is one place i don't have to be quietand i can to talk to others who understand

Sandra - 03/02/98 15:51:43
My Email:SBar1212
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
Ihave been in therpy for 2yrs.Abuse started when I was 3 - 14 yrs by brother in law ,whom I still have to be around. Would be interested in same survivors stories.

Glennys Prins - 02/27/98 00:30:07
My URL:http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Valley/6728
My Email:hgprins@eisa.net.au
Are you a Survivor?: Yes . Of mental abuse

Comments:
I tried toleave a message on our private guest book but it failed.

Cass - 02/24/98 22:35:34
My Email:jam@au.com
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
would like a friend to talk to about being a survivior

- 02/24/98 22:33:36

Comments:


Sheryl - 02/23/98 06:20:49
My Email:Sweettryst@al.com
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
thank you..

sheila - 02/21/98 16:44:36
My Email:shekabee@webtv.net
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
I have been going through the healing process for about 10 years now. I keep thinking that I am done and more thoughts and emotions come up. I don't know where to go for feedback and don't seem to get anywhere with one on one therapy. My father is dead o I can't take out all my anger on him like I would like to do. They try to get me to use something and PRETEND that it is him and that just doesn't work. I don't know how to get rid of the anger and rage that is inside of me and I am afraid to let it ou because I feel then, I will be out of control. I know that I am not alone in these feelings but it you can give me some suggestions, I am will to try. Thanks for having this on the web. I know that sometimes, just getting things aired and off your che t, helps. Thanks again and God bless you!!!!

psyche - 02/21/98 04:34:10
My URL:http://www.geocites.com/SoHo/Museum/5606
My Email:memosyne@yahoo.com
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:


Christina S. - 02/18/98 22:31:03
My Email:BugsandDaffy@WebTv.net
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
My name is CHristina. I am 19 years old. I don't even know where to begin. I guess that the first incident happened with my brother.He is almost 7 years oldr than me. He abused me 3 times that I can remember.This happened when I was around 9 or 10 years o d. I remember us sitting on the couch in the living room. I was laying on one end and he was sitting on the other. Well he moves over next to me and tells me I can use his leg for a pillow so I do. Then he starts rubbing my hair. I didn't think anything o this.Then he puts his hand on my stomach. Then he slides his hand up in my shirt and starts playing with,squeezimg,and massaging my breasts. (I started developing early.) I froze up. I couldn't undrstand why he was doing this to me. I told him that he wa hurting me and he said he was sorry,but kept on doing it. Then he put his hand down my pants and started rubbing and sticking his fingers up in my vagina. The next time was in my room. I was laying on my bed. He comes in and gets on top of me and started humping me. I told him that if he didn't get off me I would scream, so he left the room. The last time I remember was in his room upstairs. I went in to borrow a record from him. I go and have a seat on the floor and start going through his records. He comes over and sits down beside me and puts his hand down my pants and starts playing wit me again. I get the record and leave the room and never do anything to remotely provoke him to do anythng to me ever again. I think I may have been abused before these incidents by my brother earlier in life by him because I can't hardly remember anything from before I was 9 years old.I've never told anyone aboutmy brother abusing me. I think this where all my trouble began. After my brother's abusing me I got into a self-destructive pattern. I got into trouble at school(fights/getting suspended almost every day) and had major family problems. I started getting in trouble with the courts. The first time my mom called the police on me was in 1990 because I tried to choke her. I started counseling. From the start my therapist and I didn't see eye to eye. I hated her because she was a rigid incompatible woman. She suggested that we should do family counseling. Well that didn't last very long. During about the 3rd session I got mad at her and went off on her. The cops were called and I was arrested. By the time I was 14 I had been arrested 40 times on everything from simple battery to aggravated assault,and had been in juvenile 9 times (once for 6 months because my mom wouldn't pay my bail). The next abuse happened at school. Let me start by saying I was in special education because I was classified as(Severly Emotionally Behaviorly Disturbed) when I was in kindergarten. So up until I was in the 12th grade I was never in a regular public school. All the kids stayed in one cl ss the whole day and they learn at thier own pace. The had tried mainstreaming me into regular school(that is where they work you in to regular school one class at a time) and I almost made it but I got into a fight with one of my teachers and got sent ba k to special ed. Well here is what happened. I was in the 5th grade.I was 12 years old. It was the beginning of the school year. I met a boy who was between 2 or 3 years older than me. He was real nice to me for the first few weeks. Then he started to do stuff to me. Th teachers weren't very observant or they would have seen everything and I resent them for that. he would always get in line right behind or in front of me so that he could so that he could rub my but or grab me between the legs or press himself into me. T at is just the beginning. If the teacher asked me to go do something he would always say he would go help me so he could be alone with me to do stuff to me. He would catch me in an alcove or empty hallway. He would kiss me and then force his tongue in my outh. He would put his hands up my shirt and fondel my breasts. He would put his hands down my pants and rub and finger my vagina. This went on for 6 months. I was having trouble functioning and doing my schoolwork knowing that he was right there all day o abuse me. Finally I couldn't act like nothing was wrong but I didn't want to have to tell what was happening to me,so since I was already severly depressed I told one of the clinicians Dr.Ann VanBuskirk that I was going to commit suicide. She got me hos italized and I was 2 months. When I got out I just went back to school and tried to act normal and I never saw that boy again. Then I stared counseling again. I was still having major problems. I was 14. I was still getting in trouble with the law. My parents and I would fight and argue all the time. I once pulled a Knife on my mom. I got so mad one evening(this was May-11-1994) that I hit my dad with a glass jar across the face then I left.I walked half the night. I called mom at 2 a.m. to come and get me. They took me to see my therapist and she had me committed because she thought if I went to juvenile I would kill myself and she was right. My mom and dad c uldn't handle me anymore so they turned me over to the state. I got sent to a shelter. I was there 5 days and then I got locked up for 6 months (as I mentioned earlier). I was abused once more. I was 15. I got sent to a long-term residential treatment center called the (Devereux Foundation)of Georgia. I went there and was there for a year and a half. During that time I was abused by about 7 to 10 boys there. They would rub themselves against me. They would kiss me and put thier tongues in my mouth. They would put thier hands up my shirt and play with my breasts. They would grope me. They would show me thier penises. One of them even made me masturbate him. This went on the whole time I was th re. I'm 19 now. Since then I have been depressed. I still function as a "normal" person would but I'm not normal. I wish I were. I act like I'm fine but no one knows how I really feel. Most of the time I don't feel anything. I just stay by myself and leave everyone alone. I feel like it's my fault everyone wants to abuse me. I JUST WISH THE HURT AND PAIN WOULD GO AWAY. I just wish I knew what to do. Please help me fix my life. You can email me at BugsandDaffy@WebTv.net You can talk to me about it. Thank you for giving me a chance to have my voice heard. (Please post for all the survivors to see.) Sincerly, Christina S.

jenni - 02/16/98 08:45:32
My Email:ufvet2b@aol.com
Are you a Survivor?: yes

Comments:
thank you for having this web site, it is good yet sad to know i am not alone