Art Bell Listeners Present the Alt.Fan.J-C Home Page

"J.C."--We Hardly Know Ye!

"J.C.?"

Announcing the formation of alt.fan.J-C!

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("J.C.," if that's really you in disguise, you had

better watch out--you're surrounded by evil forces!)

Why a fan club?--because we miss "J.C.,"

and we want new Host George Noory to bring

him back as a guest on late-night talk radio!

Klicken Sie HIER fur die "Clinton/Gore Corner!"

If you regularly listen to "Coast-to-Coast AM",

you might know the saga of "J.C.,"

who had been just a "typical" caller

(but really, nothing about "J.C." is "typical").

But who then became a full-fledged guest one fateful night,

when Art Bell invited listeners to call in

while "J.C." was still on the line.

Those of us who were lucky enough

to hear that hour of Art's show,

know that "J.C." can be a guest extraordinaire,

whose myriad views were enunciated well,

being heard by all within earshot.

Now "J.C.'s" disciple has become his surrogate

in the quest to get the "truth" to Americans.

She claims that "GOD gives J.C. NEW COMMANDMENTS DAILY,

and he even gives personal commandments to individuals!"

AND TO DEPARTING HOST

ART BELL SHE GAVE

ONE LAST WARNING:

"HERE IS YOUR COMMANDMENT:

BRING FORTH YOUR EVIL VOICE

ONTO THE AIR NO MORE!

REPENT AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT J.C. IS

'THE BRINGER OF THE NEW REVELATION.'

AND GIVE YOUR RADIO SHOW TO HIM!!!!!"

She continued: "You wonder why your phones

weren't working when you had that druggie

on your show? HA! J.C. prayed to GOD that

your phones wouldn't work! And they didn't!"

AND THEN THE FINAL ULTIMATUM:

"THE NEXT TIME J.C. CALLS, YOU GIVE

HIM HIS RIGHTFUL TIME ON THE AIR."

But mysteriously, "J.C." never gets thru any more.

(Could this be a result of the host's decision

to screen calls? Tell us it isn't so, George!)

Also click HERE to learn little-known "facts"

about the man Art Bell called "J.C."

(Oh, here's some other stuff to look at while we're waiting for more "J.C.")

The Star-Crossed Cyber-Romance of Bob & Carol

(And Ted, Alas)

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Dear Bob,

Lotta told me about your ill-fated flight to Paris!

Even considering all the things you have done to Lotta and

your other dates, you did not deserve to die on that flight.

Maybe lose an arm, or a leg, or another body part, but not die.

XXXXXX, Carol

Dear Carol,

Lotta did not tell you the truth about my vacation. You see,

I was on a different flight to Europe. She is still sore, and trying

to get back at me, because of my date with her that went sour.

But it did not really surprise me when I heard that Flight 800

never reached Paris. I mean, what would you expect--

from a toll-free flight?

XXXXXX, Bob

Dear Bob,

I am sorry I was wrong about you dying. I will try to get

my facts straight before I write, the next time you die.

I can still remember all the talk after your date with Lotta.

You two had made the scene all over town, and then you

had brought her to your place. But later on you got mad,

because she refused to leave. She just kept begging you

for more and more. But it wasn't really your fault--

that the groceries were already closed.

XXXXXXX, Carol

If you would like to know more about Lotta,

click HERE to visit her web site.

Or click HERE

to continue our on-going saga

of a star-crossed cyber-romance!

The Clinton-Gore Corner!

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"I had a dream that Hillary and I were rap- ing about the titles of our books. And so she says 'Monica's Story' sounds so plain. & I go--How about a subtitle, then: "How Monica Got the Short End of the Stick.' & she gets kinda mad, but then asks if I've heard how she came up with her title 'It Takes a Village.' So I say--'Maybe that's how many women it takes to satisfy Bill!'"

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"Some people are sorry now that my neigh- bor at the Watergate, Bob Dole, lost the last election, & they're right about one thing--with Bob Dole in the Oval Office, there never would be a scandal involving deviant sex acts. I mean, what would you expect, with that war-wounded arm of his!

He never can do anything right!"

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Click Me
For Even More Monica!

"I always hear people say that the President's Grand Jury testimony was a 'limited hangout.' Now that does kind of sound like Bill Clinton to me! All I know is, that time the President and I were in his study by the Oval Office--

Now that there was a limited hangout!"

To find out ways that Al Gore has found to help save energy,

click HERE.

To see a summary of Arkansas' 1992 plan to reduce

teen pregnancy, click HERE.

To find out how much Gore's proposed Global Warming Tax

could cost you, click HERE.

Once Clinton almost resigned as President.

Click HERE to find out the full story.

Is it true that Tipper Gore has contracted the so-called

"4-Corners disease?" Click HERE to find out.

If you enjoy this type of humor, we can suggest another site:

Click HERE to enter the Chat Zone!

Both of these sites have received a rating of

"Two Fingers Up"

from Siskel And Ebert!

(Okay, one WAS subterranean.)

"Make that a third finger--from me!"--Lotta

Click HERE to meet this Web site's creator,

known in cyberspace as "Mack N. Tosh."

SignView Mack's Guestbook

You are visitor number

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