"Hello, you have reached an office that though it was so smart getting all it's employees cordless phones. The person you are trying to reach is here right now, staring at me as I answer this call and searching desperately for their cordless phone in the mess on their desk. It won't matter if they find it since they didn't leave it on the charger last night and the battery is dead. So you might as well leave a message with me and I'll have them call you after the 4 hour handset recharge period is completed."

"Thank you for calling Adventures in Telephoning Unlimited. If you wish to leave a message for Bill, please press 1. If you wish to leave a message for Tony, please press 2. If it's Marty you're calling, please press 3. If none of these names make any sense to you, you've probably called the wrong number. In that case, please press 4 and leave a message for Nick, he's feeling ignored."

"You have reached the office of the Senior Purchasing Agent for M&T Manufacturing. We are not interested in purchasing raw materials, processed materials, completed materials, aluminum, stainless steel, fiberglass, plastic, clear or smoked glass, brick, granite, marble, sand, paper, wood, polyester, cotton, wool, sheep, or any other farm animals. We are not hiring nor are we giving to charity. If you're still holding on at this point, leave a message as we're curious to know who had so much free time."

In a crotchety old voice: "Back in my day, we didn't have overpriced computers to answer the phone, we answered the phone ourselves. It gave a personal touch to the business world that's sadly lacking today. Don't you agree? Yeah, good. Well, there's no point in leaving a message, 'cause I haven't figured out yet how to get this $2,000 paperweight to play them back."

c 1997 Sandy Lindsey

Return to The Sandy Lindsey Humor Homepage

Since 3/3/97, this site has been visited by people in search of a laugh

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page