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You Know Your Cat Has Taken Over Your Life When...

by Sandy Lindsey

...you took your cat to pose with Santa last year, but never found the time to take your kids.

...to add insult to injury, your cat had more presents under the tree than your three year old daughter.

...you can remember the names of all eight cats who lived with you at various times during your childhood, but can't recall the names of your four brothers when they're in the same room with you.

...you're morally offended if a houseguest tries to move the cat because she's got the best seat in the living room.

...you can comfortably let your cat clean the sauce residue on your plate, then decide to have seconds using the same plate.

...your friends listen politely point out how cats are superior to children because you/your wife didn't have to go through stretch marks to get them.

...you leave messages on your answering machine during the day so that your cat can hear you talking to her. (Recently, these have become the only messages on your machine.)

...you took your cat to a KidSafe event to have her pawprinted, photograped and videotaped in case of abduction.

...you were absolutely astounded when the KidSafe people refused to process your precious kitty.

...you spend more time updating your cat's homepage than you do working on the webpage for your home-based business.


c 1997 Sandy Lindsey


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