Lies, Lies, Lies...

The Top Lies of Corporate America

by Sandy Lindsey


I'm a consultant, I'm here to help you.

I don't work here for the money, I believe in what we do.

We pay all our vendors within 30 days.

I never got your fax.

I never got your e-mail.

FedEx tracking is not infallible.

We never pay later than 60 days, even in the most extreme circumstances.

Now, I'm going to tell it to you straight...

Your computer is supposed to make that noise.

Of course, the report is done...

90 days is the absolute limit our Accounting Department will ever let any payment lag.

I don't have the authority...

That's not my department.

I'm sorry that you don't remember promising me that raise while you were dancing on top of the table at the Christmas party, but...

We've never had an account outstanding for 120 days before.

It's the computer's fault.

It's Personnel's fault.

It's the economy's fault.

Would I lie to you?

We'll be caught up on all our overdue invoices by the end of the fiscal year...really.


c 1997 S. Lindsey


Return to The Sandy Lindsey Humor Page

This site has been visited by people in search of a laugh.


LinkExchange
LinkExchange Member Free Home Pages at GeoCities


SPECIAL THANKS TO:

This page hosted by GeoCities Get your own Free Home Page

WHO MAKES THIS PAGE POSSIBLE