C.

You have trouble remembering what it's like to be normal.  Things constantly seem overwhelming.  You have trouble deciding what to do.  You "space" a lot.

Stop blaming yourself; that is not the issue.  Have you tried Prozac?  (I'm serious.)  It - or something like it - can really help.  You might only have to use it for a while.  It's not a "happy pill"; it just helps keep more serotonin in your system, which helps you think straight and be less irritable.   It'll help you find the "you" you used to be.  Here are more resources on the Net about Prozac, depression, etc.:

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Good luck in your quest for yourself.  In the mean time, check out our e-pharm.