JOKES!!!

~singing~ Everybody loves a laugh....

Welcome to my jokes page! This is a sort of joint effort. I put up ones that I've heard, and of you've got a good one you email me and I put it up!
First things first though....I still don't know how to make any cool boxes or anything, so here are some site you HAVE to go check out. They're fuckin' hilarious!
The Onion
Bert is Evil
Furniture like you've never seen it before
Rubber Chicken Hunting
Mr. T Links
David Hasslehoff Ate My Balls
Spock Ate My Balls
Batman Ate My Balls
Famous Testicles
Dr. Suess's Inferno

New!!! The Ate my balls webring! Now, a list of many other Ate my balls pages! Such as, the dancing baby ate my balls! The spice girls ate my balls! Where's Waldo with my balls? And many more!

Now for the jokes!!!

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A guy goes to a bar with some of his friends. The guy has a couple drinks and says to his buddies, "I bet you I can get any girl in this bar. You just pick one, I'll go and pick her up." His friends look around, and spot a woman sitting at the bar. She was stunning. They knew there was no way their friend could get a woman like that, so they dared him to go and pick her up. He gets up and goes to the bar.
He tells the bartender that he wants to buy her a drink. The bartender smiles at him and says "Son, you ain't never gonna get her." The guys smiles and says "Just but her the drink." The bartender shakes his head amusedly and gives her a beer, pointing out that the guy bought it for her. After a few minutes the guy gets up and goes over to her.
"So, you bought me a drink, huh." she says. "Yea..." he says, sitting down next to her. "Well....you wanna see a little leg?" The guy grins and says, "I'd love to." She lift her dress up and shows him her legs, then asks him, "You wanna see some thigh?" The guy loosens his tie and says "Of course..." She lifts her dress up and shows him her thighs. He looks at his friends and grins. She whispers to him, "You wanna...smell some pussy?" "Oh yea..." he whispers back. She leans forward and says
"Hhhhhhh...."
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This joke is courtesy of BRADLEY!!!

One day the pope decides that he's going to throw all the jewish people out of the Vatican. Naturally, the Jews are not happy about this, and demand that they be allowed to stay. The pope finally agress to let them stay, as long as one of them can beat him in a theological debate. The Jews agree, but no one is willing to go and challenge the pope. I mean, it's the pope, who would be able to beat him? The only person who would volunteer to engage the pope was a janitor.
So the next day the janitor and the pope sit down to the debate. The pope looks at the man for a while and then puts three fingers up in the air. The janitor puts up one finger. The pope starts waving a finger up in the air. The janitor points downwards. The pope takes out some wine and some bread. The janitor takes out an apple. The pope, taken aback, gives in.
The pope's followers ask him later, "How did you lose to him?" And the pope replied, "Well, I held up three fingers, for the father, the son and the holy ghost. He held up one finger to say that we are all united under one god. I waved a finger up to say that God was watching over us. And he pointed down, to say that god was all around us. Then i took out the wine and the bread, and he took out the apple to show the downfall in the Garden of Eden. How could I compete?"
Meanwhile, all the Jewish people were crowding around the janitor asking him how in the world he managed to beat the pope? And he replied, "Well, he held up three fingers to say 'I'm giving you three days to get out of here.' And I said, 'No, we're not going.' Then he said 'You get out of here!' and I said 'No, we're staying right here!' And then he took out his lunch, so I took out mine."
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This joke is courtesy of ELANA!!!

One day, god comes down to visit Adam. "Adam," he says, "I have some good news and some bad news for you."
"Okay, what's the good news?" asked Adam.
"I'm giving you two gifts. I'm giving you a brain to think with, and a penis to make love to woman with."
"That's great!!! What's the bad news?"
"Well....I'm only giving you enough blood to use one at a time..."
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This joke is courtesy of GWEN!!!

Two trees lived next to each other in a forest. They grew up together, and were best friends. One day, a little tree prings up in between them. "Oh, how cute," says one tree. "It's a son of a birch." "No it's not," says the other. "It's a son of a beech." "Son of a birch." "Son of a beech." "Birch." "Beech." "Birch!" "Beech!"...
They continued their argument for a while, until one of them said, "Fine, we'll ask a professional." They call over to the woodpecker that was flying by. "Woodpecker, go and peck at that tree and tell us if it's a son of a birch, or a son of a beech."
The woodpecker flys down and pecks at the little tree. He flys back up and lands on one of the trees. "So? What is it?" they asked.
"That was the finest piece of ash I've jammed my pecker into!"
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This joke is courtesy of ARTURO!!!

A chicken was sitting in a field, looking very happy. He was smiling big, smoking a cigarette, and giving big satified sighs. Next to him was an egg. The egg looked very annoyed and unhappy. The egg turns to the chicken and says "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
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YOUR TURN!!!
Email me your jokes, riddles, funnies, whatever.
mina_CA@crazysexycool.com

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