I have always thought of my feet as something to just keep me upright and move me from one place to another. My toes were the least of my concern. However, my teenager daughter recently informed me that she thinks my toes are ugly and she's been fearful her whole life that she'll inherit my ugly toes along with her beautiful face.
What am I to do? How can I assure her that toes are a very personal thing; and maybe, if she tries really hard, she can keep hers worthy of a pedicure? Or should I just let her in on the secret that we all, eventually, wind up with weird looking toes and those thickening nails that strike us as odd? I don't want to damage her emerging sense of self-worth, and yet I think I should explain the facts of life to her as best I can.
Thank you for any assistance you can give!
Linda
Dear Linda,
Sometimes as parents
all you can do that will help is apologize. "I'm sorry I have these feet
and that you seem to be inheriting them. I wish I could change things.
It’s my fault. As consolation can I buy you any pair of shoes that will
make your feet look prettier?" It's true you had little choice in the matter.
After all you got them from your mother or grandfather or someone. And
laying out money for new shoes doesn't solve the issue long term. But telling
her this just won't matter because those are the facts, and she knows them,
but what she needs is feelings, which in this case is sympathy for her
plight. So head to the store and let her pick out some overpriced sandals.
Then start weaving some tale about how your feet would have stayed pretty,
but as a child you spent years walking barefoot in the dirt during a time
when when soap was made mostly of lye leaving your feet in this condition.
Fortunately for her, with lots of pampering her feet should maintain their
soft youthfulness forever. Young people believe anything, especially that
they really will never age into their parents. Even we hang onto that last
thread of hope that our sagging skin is just temporary, that its caused
by the humidity or something. In the long run it won't really hurt for
her not to know the truth about aging all at once, but to see it occur
in smaller doses over time. As for me, I just hope we get a change in the
barometric pressure soon because otherwise people are going to think I
really have these laugh lines.