Dear AMS,

What can a girl do about unsightly facial hair?  I've tried everything...pills, herbs, creams, lotions, electric shock, but still my face remains smooth and hairless...can you buy facial hair?

Signed,
Wishing I Had A Pencil-thin Mustache in Wichita Falls
 

Dear Wishing,
     I know you can buy fake mustaches, but I'm sure you don't want to go through the trouble of pasting it on day after day. And what if you knocked it off kissing? Or got your fork caught and pulled it off while eating at an elegant restaurant? What an embarrassment! As you know one of the easiest ways to increase hair growth is to take male hormone pills. I'm sure you'd get a thick mustache that way, but you may not want the loss of feminine figure, goiter, sideburns, and deep raspy voice that goes along with it. That is why I would suggest a one time skin transplant. Let's say you want the "young boy/facial hair just emerging" look. You could take a strip of skin off your back where it’s nice and peach fuzzy. Although shaving it could darken it a bit, it would never get bushy and full. Maybe you want to be able to eventually grow a handlebar mustache. Then I'd suggest taking a strip off your head. Think of the length you could get. And the mustache would match your hair color perfectly! In your case, for a pencil-thin mustache, I think some hair around the lower leg may be best. You would only need 1/4" by 3" strip. That would produce a bristly, dark mustache which would require little grooming. Just remember that this is not something you should do on your own at home just because you know how to handle a paring knife and its seems straight forward and simple enough. Nobody would want a lifelong crooked mustache. Haha! That's why I say, "Go for it! Make your dream a reality. But leave the grafting to the experts."
 

                                                                                                                                                      

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