I don't know quite how to put this, but...I seem to have this small problem with my Doctor. It's not that he isn't very good or he doesn't seem able to cure all ills you have to understand. It's just that my friends and family don't seem to be able to take him seriously...they think I should stick to the more mainstream types of medicine like clinics, reflexology, acupuncture and yoga. I want to be independent on this though and go the way of the carbonated high caffeine drink that's been doing me so much good over the last couple of years....I couldn't give up my Dr Pepper and I don't want to be stuck with needles or any other such treatments. In short, how do you think I should tell my parents that I'm giving up on conventional medicine forever to go the way of Dr Pepper?
Confused and on a Caffeine High
Edswhich, England
Dear Confused,
Fortunately for you I live in Texas, home of Dr. Pepper so I've seen many,
many, many cases like yours. Many. Here in Texas true Dr. Pepper drinkers
aren’t really happy with any other soft drink. It just doesn’t satisfy.
When I offer them a Coke they merely have to say, “Oh, you wouldn’t
happen to have a Dr. Pepper would you?” and I know what I’m dealing with.
The difference between you and them is that they realize it’s a soft drink.
They aren’t drinking it for medicinal purposes. If you have ever read the
label, and I’m sure after holding many cans of it over the years you have,
you should know that except for the caffeine which is a stimulant, the
main ingredients don’t include anything found in prescriptions or even
over-the-counter medicines. So if you are taking it for fever, rashes,
allergic reactions, pneumonia, etc it just won’t cure you.
Still
you may argue, “I feel better after slamming down a few DP’s”, which brings
us to the real crux of your question- “…how do you think I should tell
my parents…” Confused, if you have reached adulthood then whom you choose
for your doctor is your decision. Should you need medical attention
and your parents ask who you are seeing you simply say, “It’s Dr. Pepper,”
and hold up the can. They may worry and wonder where they went wrong and
hope you don’t have any condition that will kill you, but in the end they
really can’t do much more than strongly suggest another physician, one
that’s actually human with a medical license, and not a beverage you keep
in the fridge. But also remember this, if you do decide to choose another
physician, it doesn’t mean you have to give up your Dr. Pepper. In fact,
you can have both. You can even get a real doctor named Dr. Pepper and
have a Dr. Pepper while seeing your Dr. Pepper. Have you thought of that?
Now that could be real satisfaction.