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Part 2

by Jon Guzman send email to author guzman@hughes.net

by Jon Guzman

I landed in Mexico City airport the day before the workshop, The Art of Living Purposefully, was to start. Victor Sanchez's team had set it up so that many of us were staying at the same hotel. We were sharing rooms to cut costs. That night, dinner in the hotel's restaurant brought a few of my fellow warriors together for the first time. After a couple hours of sharing about ourselves, Castaneda's books, and Victor Sanchez, we retired to our separate rooms. It was 1:00am and I was still too excited to sleep when my roommate finally showed up. He had just flown in from Canada. I was glad to have someone to talk with and he was an interesting young man who had actually seen Victor Sanchez at a lecture. What was the lecture like? What did Victor seem like? A sorcerer? I was excited to know. "He's like a tiger" Sam said, "a powerful animal with penetrating eyes." And he'd actually met Carlos Castaneda himself. That kind of information didn't make sleep come any easier. So as my young friend drifted off to sleep, all that I had "learned" that day swirled about in my head. Victor Sanchez had actually met Carlos Castaneda several times. That's gotta count for something I thought. Castaneda himself wrote it was Power that pointed him out to Don Juan. I was to learn a couple of months later that Carlos Castaneda's famed inaccessabilty was not so complete as I fantasized. It seems that even Carlos Castaneda himself leads workshops these days, but to hundreds of people at a time. He teaches Sorcerer's Passes, movements of the body, that not unlike Tai-Chi that increase energy and awareness.

Morning came quickly, and the members of Victor's team met us in the hotel lobby to board us on a bus for our trip into the nearby mountains. Our bus broke down not far from the hotel and as we stood on the side of the road it was my first chance to see us all together as a group. I was almost as interested in what my fellow sorcerers -in-training would be like as I was in Victor Sanchez and his party. There were 28 of us altogether, 22 men and 6 women . Two of the men were of retirement age but still strong in mind and spirit. The physical nature of what Victor and his team asked of us only highlights the extraordinary efforts of these two gentlemen. There were five or six of us from California but the rest were from all over the states and 3 from abroad. When we finally got to the lodge, the elevation was over 10,000ft. We stayed in cubicles with four bunks each. Most of our nighttime exercises were outside and could be chillingly cold.

The first two days of the workshop Victor tried to help our reason, or the "Tonal" (the right side of awareness) accept the premise of an altogther 'other' awareness: the "Nagual" or a second awareness. To get to this new awareness, one must learn to save energy. This awareness can only be accessed by those with enough energy. Or to put it in Don Juan's terms, "personal power". We were taught to break our daily routines, and 'stalk' our own ego, like one would stalk an animal before the hunt. Once freed up, this "ego" sustaining energy could be redirected toward expanding our perception.

The Indians of Mexico have learned to shift their awareness with movements of the body, especially by walking. Each day of the workshop we practiced many forms of walking. One of these is directly from the teachings presented by Carlos Castaneda: The Gait of Power, where we ran over uneven terrain with knees raised high, trusting in our power to keep our feet sure. One misstep and anyone one of us could have easily slipped and fallen to our death. We also did Shadow Walks, where as a group of 6 or more we tried to move together in complete silence. These techniques and others helped to quiet our minds more and more as the workshop went forward.

On the third day which happened to be Good Friday, we were given a day off. As a group most of us chose to see the pyramids, and archeological sites of Teotihuacan. We were completely on our own once we got to the pyramids but Victor gave us an exercise to do while there. We were to spilt our perception. With cameras, tape recorders , backpacks, and anything modern we were to try to perceive with our right side, eye, ear,. Everything ancient, the stones and glyphs we attempted to perceive with our left side, eye, ear. That day, the split in my perception from the modern(rightside)to the ancient(leftside) was very profound. This was truly an alien place and opening myself psychically caused me to feel uneasy in certain areas of this ancient city.

During the last two days of the workshop the teachings were directed right at our bodies. The lectures were over and Victor asked us to follow him into the left side of awareness, the Nagual. In one of the exercises we were all taken to a horseshoe- shaped gully with a steep 25-ft. drop-off at the edge. We were asked to look for a rock approximately the size of our hand, which we did in complete silence. After finding our rocks, we were told to pick a spot along the edge, with our backs to the gully below. We then placed our rock in front of us and tried at the same time to "feel" the gully behind us. That was not hard,as I feared I could tumble backwards if I didn't pay strict attention. Then we were asked to "Gaze" at our stone, not to stare, but to examine every nook and cranny, every detail of shading. We did this for at least 15 minutes. Victor then asked us to pick up our rocks, and without hesitating, throw them over our shoulders into the gully below. I could hear rocks bouncing all over as I listened for my own. We then went down into the gully, for each person to look for his/her "own" rock. There were thousands of rocks down there. Even though you maybe thought you had an idea where your aim had probably taken your rock, there were still hundreds almost like yours in any given area. But in our "Gazing" we had given some of our "attention" to those rocks. They practically called to their "owners". Almost every one of us succeeded in finding our stone amongst the thousands. We later used these in the stone ring surrounding the Grandfather Fire:Tatewari, to whom we all learned to speak aloud our inner most feelings.

Warriors must be willing and ready to make Their Last Stand on Earth at any moment here and now, because any battle for a warrior is a battle for their lives. Toltec's believe that when a warrior is about to die, Death must stop to witness his last stand on earth. Death cannot overtake the warrior who is recounting his life for the last time until he has finished his dance. It was midnight on the last night I would spend here in the mountains of Mexico. The warriors of Victors party were taking us to the place deep within ourselves, where our personal deaths seemed real. We were shouting our last goodbyes to all, while we danced under the stars. Knowing that our death would take us at the end of the dance we went on until total exhaustion took us. I belived this was the last time I would feel my body and it burned terribly. All I wanted to do at the end was stop--stop moving, stop everything. I dropped to the ground. Lying there in a death like stillness, it was quiet all around me. All the dances were over. Victor's soft voice broke the silence when he told us our death would not take us this day, but surely one day he will. We would be given another tomorrow. What would we do with it? There was to be no more talking that night. In silence we went back to our bunks, this powerful experience imprinted upon our bodies. On the last day, Victor hoped he could get us To Make the Jump to the Other Self, a total and literal leap into the unknown. I cannot write here as to what actually happened on that Easter Day, during the last of our exercises. Someday, one of you reading this might actually get that same opportunity to glimpse the Nagual, as I did that day under a blue Mexican sky. What does a Toltec Warrior look like? I have never seen Don Juan or Carlos Castaneda, but I do know what Victor Sanchez and his party of warriors look like. They look like you and me. It's only their unbending intent and maybe a twinkle in the eye that sets them apart.

Today I find myself where I was 20 years ago, after reading The Teachings of Don Juan, looking to the ancient Toltecs, and trying to claim that freedom and power.

Copyright © 1996, 1997 All Rights Reserved Jon Guzman

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Copyright © 1996 All Rights Reserved Jon Guzman send mail to author at guzman@hughes.net

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