WHY CLINT EASTWOOD IS ACTUALLY A TOSSER

1 He raised funds for the presidential campaigns of Nixon, Reagen and Bush

2 When someone parked in Clint's space on the Warners lot, he rammed the car aside with his pick-up truck

3 He insisted on a helicopter shot in The Eiger Sanction which zoomed in on his face to prove it was him on the mountain

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4 He banned Coke from his production company after Columbia - owned by Coca Cola - turned down his son Kyle for The Karate Kid

5 He sired five illegitimate kids with five different women, all while he was married

6 He wrote "FUCK - COCKSUCKER - SHIT" all over the script of wife Sondra Locke's dictorial debut, Ratboy

7 He said he'd never win an Oscar cos he's not Jewish (he'd never win an Oscar cos he has makes shit movies)

8 His new films are rubbish (his old ones are just as bad)

9 Once, unable to light a fire during a dinner party, he lost his temper and cleared the mantle piece with a poker

10 He like ladies to call him "Daddy"