12-1-99
General Purpose Categorical Websites
The Internet is irony exemplified - it hosts diverse sites that are so much alike.
Certain categories seem to spawn clone websites. The ones listed below could replace those redundant webpages.
www.IrodetheMp3RailroadlikeaPresidentialintern.com:
Having a hard time finding the Mp3 version of your favorite song? Don't despair - so is everyone else! Instead of searching all those Mp3 websites that just link you to other Mp3 sites, as well as opening blind links to sponsor's pages, come to us. You still won't find the latest chartbuster, except now you can surf and experience frustration from the convenience of one website. We'll send you to all the link pages, which in turn will send you to yet other link pages, which will open unwanted sponsor's pages that open yet more sponsor pages when you try closing the first one. You will bounce from server to server as if you hitched a taxi ride with some New York City foreign cab driver. In the end you'll do what you always do - say to hell with it, then leave and purchase the CD.
www.spamhasthehalflifeofplutonium.com
How many times have your co-workers spammed you with the same lame jokes and top 10 lists? Don't just sit there - spam them back! Be the first one in the office to send that retread of The Rules for Bedroom Golf and the newest variation of the same old Bill Gates Goes to Heaven...joke. You'll find all those chestnuts on this website, in addition to some yet unseen dreaded future classics. Your co-workers will hate you for it, but you already hate them! So what's to lose? Come on over and start cuttin' and a pastin'!
www.theyareallasdeadasErikEstradascareerJim.com
You guessed it - a links site for dead links! For the masochistic necrolinkophile in all of us.
www.fakenakedcelebritybabesthatyouwanttonail.com
Your one stop shop for the chopped and cropped. See that alleged naked pic of Sandra Bullock? Do you notice the melones´ grande? Now take a look at Sandra in one of her films. She ain't hurting mind you, but there is no way that nude jpeg is her - unless she ties those puppies down like the Goodyear blimp. Also, notice her neck has that Marie Antoinette meets Terry Gilliam look. Still, you can dream - and isn't that the reason you downloaded the photo in the first place, Mr. Carpal-Tunnel?
www.ToriAmosisallthereisandIamshitonastick.com
The website that grovels at the nineties' Rod McKuen. Tori's first band was called Tori Can't Read, which explains her writing. Tori is adored by those who equate incomprehensible with deep. If 1000 monkeys writing on 1000 typewriters can produce the collected works of Shakespeare, then 2 dope smoking orangutans should knock out Tori's lyrics in about 15 or 20 minutes. However, if your idea of a good time is worshipping overrated performers, this is your website. They have everything Tori-ble* here - Tori photos where she exhibits that post Electro-Convulsive Therapy 1000-yard stare, Tori on Tour dates for people who spend money for up close and personal mediocrity, and Tori interviews where she explains what her lyrics mean - which is more confusing than the actual lyrics.
*Yeah, I hear your groans. I thought a pun wouldn't sound as bad when compared to Tori Amos.
Number of visitors looking for lyrics to Achy Breaky Heart ------------------------------->