A know, it occurred to me it'd been too damn long since I went off on a rant, so here we go. It occurs to me that a few or maybe a lot of elves suffer some supreme homesickness. Understandable, as at least one or two subgroups come from Elsewhere. But then there are those of us who come from an elsewhere right under the hill.

Yup, that means a few of us are from right here, terra-not-so-firma. So what do we term ourselves, us indigenous elves. Usually I get called a jerk or other pleasantries, but in terms of separating us from our Otherplacely cousins, I'll just term us Arcadians. So your thinking at this point, "What? How? Elves from Earth?" Read my 1st essay, ya illiterate bum. I'm not recounting that tale in this rant. I will explain the seeming incongruence.

Many would argue that Earth could never produce creatures as fantastic, beautiful, or smart-ass as elves. Well it supports 'em, doesn't it? The World is a fairly magical place. Ya just gotta read between the lines. If you can't, ya got no business reading this anyway, as even my toxic, pessimistic ass can see it. It ain't a bad place, The operating system's just really screwed. We usually call it Society '99. But that ain't here or there.

Now as I sorta believe even the most screwed up event has at least some purpose, I figure so do elves. Ya see, old mom natures a busy woman. She got more any important things to attend to than watching every Gate or supernatural ninny runnin' around reality, trying to cause apocalypse. The lady does cover her ass on such things, and as such, we got elves. That's right, a bunch of T-Cells against boogie men in the body of unreality. A supernatural immune system.

So what's it all mean? Well 1st all, it means we can't just raze every human settlement we come upon, regardless how much it may be deserved. That's right, no genocide on the monkey-boys. They serve a purpose too, and no it is not to just piss us off. More or less they help keep balance. Of course, ya can "deal" with 'em on a case to case basis.

By now, a lot of you got be havin' tree-huggin tantrums. Get your panties outta a bunch, I ain't done yet. Now I know we're nature creatures, but I don't see deer out there obsessing 'bout being one with nature. Be sides, sad as it may seem, that is man's job, care taking nature. We're supposed to caretake supernature. And by caretake, I do not mean stocking up on silver bullets and stakes. This is unreal life, not "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Everything got a place on this earth one way or another, assuming it was from this unreality in the 1st place. Besides, there's this really nifty thing called cold iron, and it sorta sucks.

Anyway that's about as much soap-boxing as planet Toxic has in it's budget for right now, and being socially responsible for any extended period of time gives me gas. I'm going to get some coffee an' maybe scrounge up some cold pizza.

-Kyrin, 1/7/99, sometime before even the gods get up.