It could never happen to me.

He'd saved and he'd work to earn't money
to celebrate gunpowder plot
He'd ripraps and rockets and whizzbangs
and things that whorled round, he'd the lot.

November the fifth were so busy
and Wally he'd so much to do
He put final touches to't woodpile
and to help him were all of his crew.

The great night it started approaching
and all't family were ready to go
There were Mam and his Dad and his Sister
and Grandad who seemed ever so slow.

Wally grabbed all of his fireworks
his Sister had one or two too
They'd taken some spuds and some parkin
and black toffee to see the night through.

The wood were damp and were slimey
so't fire wouldn't light just at first
But Dad new some't about lighting
and oh how much he could curse.

The pile it were soon up a blazing
and't flames leapt high to the sky
All't smoke and all't sparks they danced upward
and when he felt t'heat so did't Guy.

Young fella were soon into't fireworks
"Instructions were for cissys and girls"
He held one when it said that he shouldn't
and it went off with whizzes and whorls.

His hair were all singed and were smokey
his hands were all blotched black and red
His face weren't now such a picture
"Oh Wally, my Wally" Mam said.

The ambulance were immediatly called for
and hospital bound it was sped
The doctor took one look at Wally
and said he would find him a bed.

Now't young fella were weeks on't recovery
at first it were feared he'd no sight
Each day as went by he felt better
except for the dreams in the night.

The nurses they gave him some medicine
the injections and dressings were rife
The pain and the scars were improving
a reminder for't rest of his life.

Now Wally were sentenced for ever
folk pointing and saying "thats he"
"Yon begger cant handle his fireworks,
it could never happen to me."