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When I talk, It's usually about nothing much, cause when I talk about things that are important to me- people don't understand. It's not that they're stupid, their way of thinking is just different from mine. If I do try talking about something like that, the conversation usually leads nowhere. Sometimes someone even gets hurt (and it's not me), because "someone" thinks that I think he's stupid- because I say he doesn't understand. It's understandable... :)
Luckily there are quit a few close people that do understand me- they are the people I like talking to, and they are the people I'm with most of the time.
There are a lot of people that also make me quiet and I refer to them as The People That Know Best. People like that have a problem with their self-confidence, they have too much of it. Some times these people know many things in many different interests and they can make me mad. They think that because they know so much they may step on others with no shame. These people think that knowledge is the solution for everything. They're wrong- it's only part of the solution. Experience is the solution to everything. When people learn from experience- you can clearly see the difference from people that know everything from hearing or reading it somewhere else.Any way, when I'm in the company of The People That Know Best I prefer not talking, cause they always have to show they know better and they make sure they say the last word. With all their knowledge, they probably know that knowledge isn't everything but don't want to accept it for they enjoy making other people feel small. Yes, I admit, people like those make me feel small.
Someone told me that that's what people don't understand about me, that I can just disconnect my thoughts from people. He said people don't usually do that and that's why they misunderstand me… So I guess that when I'm with people I do care for I just stay with my feet on the ground.
When talking- people reveal themselves and by that they make themselves vulnerable. I prefer having "an advantage" on others by letting them talk and not revealing myself to them. That's why I call it safe distance. My distance keeps me safe and invulnerable.
Another one of my excuses for not liking to talk is that I'm a very slow thinker. I admit, it's a lame excuse, maybe it's all in my head but I really feel it affects me when I'm talking. It takes me ages to get the point of people's sayings, and also, I always think of great things to say in a discussion that has already been made and done with.
That's what I like about electronic mail. I can communicate with people with letters and that way I have time to think about what the person wrote or said before and what I'm going to write back, though, I only use e-mail to talk to people that live far away (normally).
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