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1. Do you wash your hands after using the toilet?
a. Always
b. Usually
c. There's a sink in the men's room???
2. Deodorant is:
a. a necessity.
b. a must in warm weather.
c. optional and may be applied in public.
3. When the milk/juice carton is empty,
what should you do with it?
a. rinse it out and collapse it for
the recycling bin
b. sit it on the counter near
the trash can
c. put it back in the fridge
4. The toilet paper roll is empty after your use
--how does it get replaced with a new one?
a. You go to the cupboard and get
a new one out
and hang it up in the holder.
b. You get out a new roll, but leave
the empty one on
the holder; put the new roll
on the floor or on the back
of the tank.
c. Toilet paper rolls magically
replace themselves, duh!
5. Boldly belching and farting in public is:
a. Unacceptable
b. Fine on some occasions, like with family
c. A lot of fun, especially when it's LOUD!
6. On average, how much time do you spend
sitting around the house in your
underwear scratching?
a. Less than 7 hours a week
b. 7 to 14 hours a week
c. As much time as possible
7. You're going to wash your car but
there are no rags.
You should:
a. Look for old towels or t-shirts, or
maybe buy something special
for washing the car.
b. Vow to never wash your car.
c. Use one of the good bath towels,
they can be washed or replaced.
8. When taking a woman to dinner, how
should you settle the bill?
a. leave an appropriate tip, and take
the bill up to the cashier
b. inspect the bill and comment
"Wow! You shouldn't have
eaten so much! Ha, ha!"
c. pass the bill to the woman and say
"I paid last time, now it's your turn!"
HISTORICAL ROUND!
9. In days of yore, a fair maiden is caught
in the path of a fire-breathing dragon!
In your trusty armor you would:
a. charge the dragon, suffering his wrath
yourself while the fair lady escapes,
and making sure not to injure the
dragon either cos you love animals
b. wave your arms to distract the dragon,
and maybe she can make a break for it
while he's not looking
c. get the hell out of there, cos if he
breathes on your armor you'll be fried!
YOUR VIEWS ON WOMEN
10. The most important thing about a woman is
a. personality,just like with any other person,
regardless of gender
b. what she can do for me
c. who are you kidding? Big 'uns!!!
11. It is acceptable to swear at a woman....
a. at no time
b. if she started it
c. if she pisses you off or
you just feel like it
12. Strip clubs are...
a. degrading to women and should be
boycotted
b. good places to take college buddies
c. the best! But too damn expensive!
Chicks should take it off for free,
come on....
13. You are stopped at a traffic light. Where
should your hands be?
a. both hands on the wheel (or wheel and
gearshift)
b. one hand on wheel, one adjusting radio
c. boring up my nose for boogies, else
one up my nose and one in some
alternate orifice
14. Nose-picking is:
a. rude and not suitable for display
b. something I do when I have no tissues
c. a fact of life, and when the need strikes
you gotta go for it!
A LAST WORD ON PERSONAL HYGIENE
{Note to our British readers, this is important!}
15. Brushing your teeth--your views:
a. at least twice a day if not more
b. before bedtime you probably should
c. that's just a myth to sell toothpaste!
If you answered largely "A," then you are
most likely female. If not, then
we applaud you,
but you're gay right? Drat...if not,
please leave
your number in our box...
If you answered mostly "B," then there might
be hope for you with proper training and
discipline (you know you want it...) from
the right female instructor.
If you answered mostly "C, " then you
join the none-too-elite rank and file,
where 99.9% of all men dwell....
If you minimize your
karma now, perhaps you will have
the fortune to be born female in
your next life. Until then,
please keep your distance.
Thank you for taking our quiz.
Now put the cap back on.
Run home before
the smell reaches you
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