February 28,1998
scattered
It has been that kind of month. My workroom is so disorganized and in such disarray that I finally decided to drop every other commitment I have and concentrate on getting my room in shape. When my room is disordered, so is my mind. Now I am sitting in my desk chair (the only clear space in the room) in front of my computer surrounded by mounds of paper and notebooks. It is hard for me to let things go. I am just going to have to bite the bullet and DO it! Just cover my eyes, maybe, so I won't know what I am throwing out.
I have started putting together a memory book and writing pieces for it. I want to put together a memoir for my sons. I want them to have all the information I can give them about the family from my perspective. The older I get, the more important this becomes to me.
I've been spending too much time on it though. I have been getting cabin fever inside these four walls. I decided I must get out and live life instead of just staying inside and writing about it.
I started going to Mass again. And it has been great. Like going home. I am tired of doing my spiritual things alone; I have found that I need to be a part of a spiritual community. I have been isolated long enough. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
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