The beginning of the month, such resolve! I just knew I would make an entry at least once a week.

What happened?

Nothing. It's just me, being me. I don't know how the months get by me so fast. It scares me.

I know it's been a busy month. And (surprise!) a painful one. But I can't rmember all the details. I'm on antibiotic again. Didn't get rid of whatever it was that was making me sick last month. So I'm waiting it out. Hoping to be back to normal soon.

I've done a bit of writing. But not much. And I haven't been on-line much either. I have a problem that no one can figure out. My screen freezes. It started happening after I uninstalled an AT&T CD. Frustrating. I wish I knew more about how these things work. I know just barely enough about computers to get by. Less, I guess. I feel so "out" of it.

I have been reading a lot of diaries, memoirs, notebooks, etc. lately. Reading so much, my eyes get tired. I thought reading other memoirs might motivate me to get off my duff and do more with my own. I'm also going to take another workshop with John High on Writers On the Net. It's a workshop on journals. Not an ordinary workshop. John's workshops are never ordinary. He is not an ordinary guy. Special. He's helped me, not only with my writing but also spiritually. He's a mentor. And a guide. He doesn't know it, but he has had a great effect on my life. I am thankful and grateful that he came into my life just when I needed both a mentor and a guide.

So I'm feeling quite dull tonight. Had 3 1/2 hours sleep last night and I'm feeling it (it's 9:30 pm now). I should have waited to make this entry but I'm afraid if I wait, it won't get done (which is often the case). So this is me tonight, not feeling much, not doing much, not saying much. Just hitting the keys, letting what's there come through my fingers. Trusting that someday ( I hope soon) I'll get myself together and be more faithful to these pages. They are important to me. But you'd never know it. I don't know if it's because I'm lazy, depressed, tired, sick....or some other condition that I can't yet name.

Whatever, I'm going to try...........

back