Nothing much. At least not that I remember. Had my yearly physical. Cholesterol &Triglycerides good. Eating too many sweets though. We go almost every day for a peanut-butter sundae made with fat-free yogurt. Give the dog half of it. She loves peanut-butter.


Taking a class on-line. A memoir workshop. Taking classes seems to be the only way to motivate myself, or rather, discipline myself to get the work done. I have a hard time getting a block of time to create when I am not interrupted. Nikki bothers me a lot. Wants to go out, mostly to play. We have spoiled her and she wants us near her constantly. Forrest feels free to come in too. Going to have to make some strict rules I guess. I'm getting things done but I'd like to have a lot more time. I keep thinking about how nice it was in some ways before we got the dog but she is a joy in a lot of ways and worth the sacrifice of complete freedom.


Was in a pretty bad blue funk about the middle of the month. Got K's old tapes from the show he did in Springfield when he was here. listened to three of them he made the day he left. My favorite was not there. Sad that he is estranged from us. Sent him his share of the money from sale of mom's land in Oklahoma even though he wants us out of his life. Anyway, the situation with him is a constant ache I carry around with me. Just sometimes, like a monster, it eats me up.
Had a birthday on the 17th. Dinner at my favorite restaurant for celebrations--Steak and Ale with the birthday cake but no singing. Getting too old for that. Told them no. Then went to KC on the weekend to "celebrate" with C & S, our two sons. It was SO hot! Saw S's new apartment; it is charming. In the woods. just charming. It was nice to be with our sons but I felt no other kind of joy. Being old sucks. Wondering where all your life went so fast


Been having a heat wave but the temperature dropped yesterday. Forrest and I were sitting in the yard this afternoon watching the dog play and just enjoying the breeze when I felt a sudden urge for some of that home-made ice-cream mother used to make and dad froze by hand. Lemon and vanilla. God it was good! And i thought of mother and how she loved that ice-cream and how, towards the end of her life, she denied herself just about everything she liked to eat so that she could live longer. And I wondered if it is worth it. Why not enjoy the end of your life having the pleasure of eating some of the things you love once in awhile. And it made me sad that mother denied herself that pleasure. And she died anyway. The extra time she might have given herself (if, indeed she did) was miserable. So what is the point? Well, I couldn't have the home-made ice-cream of course, so we went for the usual peanut-butter sundaes. Didn't work though. I still dream of that home-made ice-cream. And chili-dogs, and sandwiches with bologna and other store-bought fatty sandwich meats, and pies and cakes and jeez! Stop it!


So I guess that's about my month in a nutshell, if anyone comes by to check it out, which I doubt, since I have been so unreliable recently in keeping up these pages. I hope to do better in the future, but can't promise anything. Nothing in my life is predictable, especially me.

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