How to be the best Hermanist you can be:

1. Thou shalt do no harm to others insofar as this compatible with staying alive.
2. Thou shalt have a sense of humor, especially about important things.
3. Thou shalt not be a prude. Hast thou never heard the expression, "To fuck like bunnies"?
4. Thou shalt not annoy the Prophet, nor shalt thou maketh fun of her clothes, nor her taste in music, neither shalt thou ask her for her measurements. At least not until thou hast been properly introduced.
5. Thou shalt not despise the weak, for he who does so has no real strength.
6. Thou shalt not purchase more expensive cars than thou canst drive, merely to impress the not-very-bright.
7. Thou shalt not steal from those who are poorer than thou art.
8. Thou shalt not wear any item of clothing which serveth as free advertising for an irritating corporate entity.
9. Thou shalt not drinketh cheap beer, nor smoketh cheap pot, nor shalt thou weareth cheap perfume.
10. Thou shalt flush.

If you've accidentally violated one or more suggestions, or otherwise feel the need to get in good with the Bunny, check out our Toll Free Prayer And Technical Support Page.

A few additional notes on the duties of a Hermanist:

• Carrie is the Prophet. Official Hermanist policy is that she's really cool, but if you merely find her slightly amusing that's okay too.
• In keeping with her title of Prophet, Carrie may occasionally prophesy some stuff. In case of such an event, it usually best just to smile and nod.
• Raw carrots are considered a very reverent food, and will suffice for Tuesday and Thursday sacrifices if you can't eat Trix for some weird medical reason. And they're good for your eyes, too.
• People who kill rabbits and don't even bother to eat them are to be frowned upon. The same goes for people who kill people and don't even bother to eat them.