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DEALING WITH OTHER DANCERS

The only key to good relations with other dancing guests is RESPECT. With this comes courtesy, good manners, tolerance and patience, and basic etiquette, on and off the floor. Wouldn't dancing be much more pleasant if we all respected each other? 
     Social dancing does have its own set of rules which I believe are universally accepted, whatever country you're in. These rules are seldom shared with social dancers by their DIs and dance teachers. I have included the most obvious and easily violated rules here. 

• Ask for the dance. Don't just tug on your partner's arm nor pull her from her seat. When she agrees, lead her courteously to the floor. The same holds true if the lady guest asks for the dance from a booked or roving DI. 

• Before starting the dance, choose a space to work around with for the stationary dances (such as Boogie, Jive, Philippine Swing, Reggae, Socca). If many other couples are already on the floor, choose a space on the periphery. Don't insist on a cramped spot in the center of the dance floor. 

• While dancing in the LOD is rarely practiced in the local ballrooms, try to set the example, especially for the progressive dances (such as Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz) and move around the floor counterclockwise on an imaginary circle.  Again, position yourselves at the periphery of the floor. This way you'll have less chances of tangling and bumping into other couples. 

• While the man normally has the responsibility to lead the couple so they don't bump into other couples, the lady too has to take the initiative to warn her partner of such an eventuality especially when he's moving backward. An extra pressure on his right shoulder or arm usually sends the signal. If not, whisper the warning to him. 

• If you accidentally hit another dancer with your foot or an extended arm, immediate express apology. No need to stop dancing if the hit was minor.  However, if the hit seemed hard, stop to check for injuries. 

• If, on the other hand, another dancer wearing a stiletto steps on you, hold your fist and think a minute before killing her. Wait for the apology, but let her know how much it hurts. She'll more likely discard the stilettos and be more careful the next time. Stop dancing then, and ask for some ice to put on your darkening blue lump. 

• Lifts, while nice to look at, necessitate some advanced level of dance training, and should be done only without the risk of hitting another couple. Meaning, don't do lifts, kick turns, even full back dips, unless you're sure you wouldn't break your neck or hit another dancer. Better still, limit these moves for exhibitions and competitions.

      The changing norms have left quite a number of unasked questions in our minds. My personal reactions may not necessarily jive with yours, but nonetheless the questions have to be addressed. 

• Should a male guest ask a lady guest to dance when they have not been introduced to each other? The answer is "Why not?" This is not a normal practice in Philippine ballrooms, but there's really no harm in trying. Well and good if the lady agrees to the dance. However, the lady only asks a man to dance if she has been introduced before or if he is sitting with her at the table. Only the lady D.I. may approach her male guest for a dance; it's her job anyway. 

• Aren't we upsetting socially-accepted norms when lady guests book a D.I. or pay him tips after dancing, much like the men getting a GRO or a bar hostess to entertain him for the night? If only more Filipino husbands and boyfriends would learn to dance with wives, then we wouldn't have to hire our own partners. If there's a need, there's a way.

• Is it OK for another guest to ask a booked D.I. for a dance? Only if the D.I. and the guest with whom the D.I. is booked both agree. Otherwise, back off. A better approach is to ask the guest first, since he/she 'owns' the D.I. for the night and is paying the full D.I. fee.

• May I request the band or the DJ to play a particular music piece for my preferred dance?   By all means, do. That way they get a feel of what the guests want. 

• What should I do if a D.I. 15-years my junior tries to court me? Huh, an often enough situation, especially since lady guests usually are unaccompanied by their husbands or boyfriends. Answer: How would you treat your son or another suitor?