Thanksgiving Rehash

"It will be annoying to her that you are, beer-wise, underage. Either you will date and this will get annoying, or you won't date because this will be annoying." -Breakup Girl

Anyway, these two remarks just FRIGHTENED ME.

"OXYTOCIN. It's a hormone that females (human and animal) release during lovemaking and, Oedipally enough, also during breast-feeding and childbirth. In fact, scientists believe that oxytocin is one of the chemical catalysts for mother-child bonding. So it's also as if, when you have sex, you imprint on the lucky guy as if he were your bitty baby bird. Helps explain why women -- even post-trivial-one-night-stand -- may feel this bizarre, misplaced impulse to feed it, help it fly, and to want it to come to depend on them for food and warmth." -BG

"A friend calls and asks, "Are you free Saturday night?" and I say, "Let me call John and see if he had anything planned and I'll call you back." Someone asks him the same question, and he'll go ahead and make plans and not tell me until Saturday during the day and then I get all disappointed and upset, and he gets upset because, "I don't want to feel like I HAVE to check in." -Want a Real Love

Anyway, getting to why the hell I'm doing this at 6:48 a.m., I was going to do my Thanksgiving follow-up here and then do another page of what happened with the whole newsgroup thing. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that Sarah called me last night! I wasn't home when she called, and she didn't say much on the machine, but I'm curious. I was worrying about her this Thanksgiving with in-laws and a psycho hubby. I'm going to call her on my break today or tomorrow (whenever I can get ahold of her).

So here we go, and please keep in mind that I wrote this part before leaving for school:

Not much to say 'bout this year's Thanksgiving. Cousins didn't fight, Granddaddy didn't try to piss us off (can't say the same for my mom and aunt though), I could eat dinner without the permeating stench (maybe he bathed?), even though I heard some sick stuff out of the cousins about his uh, bodily problems. Saw The Rugrats Movie on the big day, and it was a good flick. (Then again, I like Rugrats.)

As for the big dinner, i have now determined that 20 is TOO OLD to have to sit at the kids' table. Especially when the kids (Kristen and Cassie) are throwing food at you. So I threw some food back. Then Kristen (who started it all!) whines about it, and whines more when Alicia and Cassie (NOT me) throw their food into hers- she's one of those don't-mix-the-food people . . . then she gripes that she would have eaten more if not for the mixed food. I wanted to eat more myself (it was damned good), but it's hard to eat as much as you want while you're busy ducking flying food. The amazing thing is that my aunt (normally very uptight, constantly yelling at the kids for every little thing) didn't do a thing about it!

Other than that, I've either been shopping or doing my design project (sigh). I haven't found much for others, but my parents have shown me half my presents by now. So far I know I'm getting the new Celine Dion CD (didn't ask for it, don't care if I get it), a South Bark (Big Dogs) sweatshirt =), a new backpack purse =) and velvet jeans =). I love what they got (especially since I practically picked most of it all out), but whatever happened to trying to keep it all a secret? I used to hunt through the house, now it's "Jen, don't go in the guest bedroom." Sucks to get old at the holidays.

Auntie Dolores and Uncle Bruce came over to put up the Christmas lights, and practically the first thing out of my aunt's mouth to me is "Did you get a boyfriend yet?" Not "How's school going?" or something like that. Of course I said I didn't have one, that I'd had a date last week and it went well, but I didn't think it'll go anywhere. She shut up for a bit.

Now, come on. Is that the only thing I'm good for is getting a guy? Just because she's been with Uncle Bruce since she was a freshman in high school (my God, and she's not very deserving of that either. She can be SUCH a pain in the ass) does not mean that the rest of us are going to be doing that. My mom said later on that I should have said, "No, but I'm pregnant and don't know who the father is!" Good one, Mom!

Seriously, I'm gonna snap real soon and the next time I get that, go, "No, I don't have a boyfriend! No guy wants me! I'm a big loser! Now STOP ASKING ME THAT!!!!"

Not that I want a boyfriend exactly. I want a guy very bad (gee, you couldn't tell?!), but don't want all that possessive couple crap that goes with it. Ick, I already get that from my parents. I'm not in love with anybody (good!), and don't wanna be. I'm not in mad lust for anybody anymore (and i'ts a damn good thing too). And that's a rare and temporary thing for me, as you know. Going by recent spells, this only lasts for about a month plus change or so. I've maybe got a few weeks left? January?

Okay, so I'm kinda interested in someone, but going by recent precedent, guys have short attention spans (a.k.a. "distance does NOT make the heart grow fonder"), plus he'll do some asshole thing and I'll get over it. So, nothing will go on. That is what I will expect, while still hoping that the opposite of what I expect will happen, as it always does in my life! A Bridget Jones thought-

"I will not: Sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend."

For the continued tale of my day, click here.

© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu

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